Haha, well! Very interesting, they actually put a topic just for this.

Have any of you felt scared in clubs? you walk in your the stranger, the music is so freaking loud your game spins in your head?, your by yourself confused as what to do?

or

Your in a park and you just cant overcome something in you to go and open your mouth and talk! because your scared off her hating your company, or of you seeming like a creep to others? or many other reasons?

How do you overcome this, and how do you get talking anywhere? anytime you'd like?

Everyone has opinions and theorys! my personal one, is based on me starting out! and i don't think I'm any special to anyone anywhere! like all of us we are all human, and we all have to deal with it day after day after day! we can't change where we were, or how we were, but we can change how we are now!

It really depends on how deep you are! if you are like me, at one point you may have had many girls chasing you and you were a natural, than some point in your life you stopped all that, started to distance yourself from society and into computer games with online friends and people who practically put up tents in Lan caff's and would rather create a character in a imaginary universe and better that with their time, than to better themselves in real life.

If you were like me than getting back into society may have been a tough step. One which your feeling inside and scared of being inadequate and imperfect to change. You may or may not know that what you are feeling is all wrong, and in your head! But there certainly something behind it to push it forward every time you try to change.

What is a universal solution to change? how do you change? how do you become something that your not and thrive? Well.. If you are in a field or looking to be in one that no one has ever been in, than your sheer determination and ambition is enough. However if your looking to be in a field or are in a field that everyone is than the universal principles of mankind apply.

How do you get good at anything? how do you get good at playing sport? or computer games, or even reading or writing?

Well, ambition, determination, the ability to learn, the ability to change, the ability to foucs on the people who are doing it right and have success and attempt to copy their behaviors and ideas and make them part of your own characteristics.

Lets look at this some more.
The ability to foucs on the people who are doing it right
When you were a kid sometime in your childhood, didn't you imitate someone from a tv series? like a teenage mutant ninja turtle or a bad guy or a good guy? dress up in his cape or costume and for that one day you were him? Same principle apply in anything that you do.

In pickup, look at the best guys, look at how they behave around woman, look at the fine details of how they stand, sit, interact, everything about them, and see if you can rip the qualitys you KNOW THAT WORK and implement them on yourself. After a while you'll notice that those qualities become you.

Ambition and Determination
How do you get ambition? Through want and need to do it! if you really want to do it, than the only thing missing is you thriving for it. And thats your determination. You know that if you do nothing, than nothing will result. And you also know that your hiding behind excuses every time you see a girl, or every time your attracted to one and would love to approach her. So brake that barrier! Decide in yourself that its time to be different! This won't be easy! This is one of the hardest things, and this is where the the ability to change comes in.

The ability to change
Well this is a very hard one. To be able to change, you will need to push out from where you are to do something your not usually custom on doing. I have a small story about change

"Along time ago in my very AFC days, i had a crush on this girl, who i followed around like a cat dangling after a string that is constantly being pulled away. One good thing came from that because i decided to visit her at work! the romantic i was! and decided to overcome all those fears and approach her, say hi, get her number and marry her *cough looser*. So i went there, i talked to her, i got her number, had a fantastic interaction, and she was a sales girl for a fashion store! so being the desperate guy i was, i decided to impress her by learning about fashion, by going out there, changing my image to suit someone in a magazine and not be afraid! that took alot of change, considering the only things i used to wear was cheap cargo pants and very cheap shirts! not to mention ugly old shoes that smelled! So anyway a big transformation came by, i started to learn about different fabrics, i started to buy clothes, and look at different designs and try them on myself. At one point i couldn't believe how i looked! it was so different, it was such a huge change, but it made who i finally wanted to be. Anyway... none of that impressed her, she got a bf the next day, and i dangled around a string for a bit more till she dumped him and got another one... who was a natural amog. So i than decided to walk away, but in that process i had learned soo much about something so different, that it became a part off me, and from than on it grew to shoes, to different colored shole laces, and believe me i was scared to experiment, i thought id look stupid and wierd, but it was all adding more and more of my inner personality on the outside. I keept with this change up to today, and its still going ".

Now im not saying find a girl, get attached, let her screw your head around, than pickup something good. No. I'm saying you need to boldly go into a place you feel so uncompftable in! (imagine how i felt when i first walked in a fashion store looking like a street bum) and do whatever it takes, to get what you want out off it. Ofcourse now days it involves opening the girl and getting her number as a must as well. I recommend you do that. Make it your mission to go in.

Once you've done that change its time to learn and get social. How do you get social? the only way to get social is to talk to everyone about anything, try going small, try saying, 'thanks have a pleasant day' to everyone you shop from! Take small steps, but record your progress and have it clearly defined in your head! open anywhere, anytime, even in train stations, parks, anywhere, and i mean anywhere. I had the limiting belief a while back that you could only talk to girls in nightclubs. Not the case! Once you know all this you can start to learn.

Read the posts below fur further answers:

the-pain-period-impact-vt2282.html

problems-with-go-out-and-do-it-vt2070.html

where-do-i-start-vt1677.html

night-game-sarge-report-impact-vt2237.html

getting-in-the-pickup-art-by-impact-new ... t2173.html

day-game-how-to-go-about-it-vt2197.html

d-a-y-g-a-m-e-test-vt2018.html?highlight=

Get out there!

- Impact

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

Great post Impact!

wat u reckon a good way to ovecome shyness at a party, im still at highschool and i just find it hard to bust into a group of girls and continue a conversation after my initial line (also would like some good tips on ice breakers lol). like how do u continue a convo after the initial start.

You needa read some of Mystery's or Styles things. Some type of pickup guide!

Just walk in there and make sure your more energetic than all of them. Make sure your voice is higher then theirs and say OMG, i use to date a girl that had that exact same skirt! and point at your target! than get them all taking about fashion and crap, ignore the main target, until you've won their friends over, with routines and gambits. You need to read some more dude. Find yourself a nice random routine, a nice DHV routine anything. Look at body language and posture thats very important too!

_________________
Back, starting over as of 2012.

yeh there was the book which i read, that has got me more interested in wat i can do to improve, its was called "the game" by Neil Strauss and it basically said that confidence was the key. So was at a friends house last night and he had his sister there with her friends, who are 2 years younger. Anyway when all her friends bar 1 was leaving and when my mates where playing poker and i was out i was flirting a bit with her and her friend, like a smile and a little chat as we met in the corridor. then her friend was like lets go downstairs, where know one was, and we started chatting bout nothing really important and i was just trying to think of a way to move in and start kissing without it being awkward, cos i thought i had her. But then as her friend came down she decided to run off with her, even though as i was leaving she let me have her number. I dont understand?? and also wats a good method of making the move for hook ups when i was sitting next to her?
also u reckon i should msg her and wat should i say?

Yeh i talked to Neil (Style) very recently! great guy! He really cares about everyone and the community! Inspired me alot to push forward in a time that i was quite down. I won't go into details here.


I don't understand?? and also wats a good method of making the move for hook ups when i was sitting next to her?
also u reckon i should msg her and wat should i say?
You need to get more aware of everything. I feel like your not really aware of all the suttle body languages, and things girls are doing, to properly calibrate yourself to the situation. She gave you her number because she liked the attention you gave her, but depending on the situation, she may have given it to you because she wasn't happy in your presence but didn't want to be mean, as her friend pulled her away.

I don't know your situation.

What i can say to immediately help you, is to listen to your gut instinct and ask it how the interaction went. Usually us guys have a fantastic gut instinct that we can rely on. SO if the interaction did go well, than call her. Schedule a time, prefer a Sunday or Monday, because they are not high octane days like Sat or Fri. Take her to places she hasn't been before that you see of value, and introduce that to her. Make sure your always leading and she always following. Don't ever follow her, ever. The way to get to the 'make out' so to speak, part of the interaction is to build kino gradually. In my case i would meet the girl, i would ignore her from the word go as id talk about other things. I wouldn't really compliment her, maybe make a offhand remark about he glasses. Start to build rapport going between me and her straight away. As time passes, lets say i sit her down we get some ice cream, which i pay for initially because its not expensive and it highers my value by not showing im cheap! id steal some of her ice cream from her cup and eat it, and make her feed me. Grab her hands and do the ring routine, or just grab her hands and talk about nails or something else (totally different) as under subtext i move my fingers around hers, and than build comfort. When enough comfort is build you just keep escalating kino. So when we get up after the ice cream interaction, i would take her hand and dangle her around, sometimes try to push her into a street light or a door, just playfully and let her hit me and bitch about it, so as she hits me i lock her in and give her a nuggie, and keep that process up making sure i calibrate so i don't over do it. Otherwise id loose her and wierd her out. I do all that Until i finally kiss her. And i would use a certain technique for that, sometimes my very own lipstick kiss one. Theres alot out there. During your interaction you can do kino tests, by taking her hands and placing them on your knees or legs, and seeing if she holds them there or moves away, that shows her compfort level. Another one is the trust test with the hands im sure youve read about it in ' The Game '.

With Phone game, it only works well if youve build a emotional connection with the girl prior to you calling her. Otherwise all the phone can do is time bridge or build compfort. And you don't want to be building compfort over the phone. You can if you know what your doing. But probably not the best idea in your case.

You can do IOI test by ringing her saying ' OMG whats that song, "you spin me right round baby right round?" and hang up. ' If she calls you back shes interested.

i was just trying to think of a way to move in and start kissing without it being awkward. Why were you trying to kiss close her so early? Be careful with that! Play your game, and escalate, step by step. Than kissing will come naturally. Don't play foolsmate and try to kiss the girl like every other 'creepy player guy' out there, because in the long run she won't be interested.

- Impact

_________________
Back, starting over as of 2012.

Social Pressure

I haven't really discussed this issue, and i think its one of the most important things in the process of change.

Ill share with you guys a very personal incident that occurred recently, one which tested the limits of my tolerance and brought out my inner dark shadow, which David D. talks about in his seminaries.

For those of you who don't know what the dark shadow is, its basically a glimpse of your real self in a difficult situation. Like someone would get you angry and you’d want to retaliate. Almost to the point where you are visualizing their execution. A good example of this is in a movie called 'True Lies' the main actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In it his wife (Helen) is seeing a used car sales man, and he has the distinct privilege of meeting this guy without him knowing that he’s the husband of the wife which the car sales man is seeing. And there’s one scene in the car when this car sales man guy talks about what nice pair of breasts ' Harry's ' (arnold) wife has. And Harry than visualises hitting him and killing him.

This is like your inner shadow. And you will face it on your journey through the game. I believe I've faced mine today.

Alright so i was in class, this teacher guy whos known me for a year, (same one who amoged my twin set, for anyone whos read it), decides to throw a shit at a girl in my class, and i said, ' Dude relax, get over it, no big deal ' he than decided to confront me outside the classroom and challenge me, tell me I have changed, and he doesn’t like it. (remember guys when you change you’ll get this allot from people who know you and WONT accept the fact that you are showing your real colors, they will push you down and try to make you that same lovable looser that they have in their head, that makes them feel good day in and out). He further goes bizerk and begins to stirr me, and that moment i got extremely cut. I could almost visualize that true lies scene. He just wouldn't have it half way and was making threats of physical harm towards me, which even he couldn’t keep. And worst were invigorating me and more, almost like throwing gasoline on fire. It was unprofessional for a teacher to even be talking to a student in this manner at all. The point of the matter is the dark side of me came too, and i than for that brief moment realized it was my dark side, and i had realized my limits. Threes so far someone can push you, after jacking your set, picking on your change, trying to stirr you every time, and now this.. i mean common. But i stopped i centered, and i realized what was happening. After parting with this teacher i noticed i couldn’t really concentrate on any work he was teaching, rather in my mind plotting ways to set him on fire. (Laughs)

I further realized that yeh this was my dark side and started to think not about the incident, but what ive learned, and what i can use constructively to better myself and my ability to push the boundary. The thing is now that i know my limit when i reach my limit, i can easily center, and calm myself, being the stronger person that i am now i can take real power in the situation, rather than have it uzed out from me.

Social pressure guys, you almost certainly will get it. Teachers, Friends, people that don't want to see you change your AFC self, you may have to confront these people in a very unpleasant verbal way. Take everything from it when it happens. Every little thing you can, move beyond it. And understand why its happening, almost like first minute resistance.

~ Impact

<img src=http://www.thearnoldfans.com/movies/tru ... lies2c.jpg>
Scene from True Lies

I must say thats a good post. Very thorough and detailed. You're precisely right about "Determination" a lot of people want to pick up more women but do not want to put forth the effort needed to do so. Like I say "You've got to dive in head first and hope the water isn't shallow."

_________________
Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

Controlling your frame

I felt like this is another very important piece. I've defined to some extent the basic principles off the social challenges you will face. So I'm going out on a ledge to speak about something which holds the key to everything. Your frame.

I don't have this problem anymore, i don't think i really ever will, as ive become very self correcting.

It's as if your trying to put a books inside slots in a bookshelf. The books labeled ' Openers, Routines, DHV routines, Negs, Voice tonality, Body language, LMR ' and you keep slipping and they keep falling on the floor. You keep forgetting, your frame keeps screwing, its like you want to rehearse all the information but you keep forgetting. You walk in a set and it goes icy, you don't know where to go, you’ve played your cards wrong. You’ve lost your Frame.

Something interesting about real Alpha males you notice, is generally they have a really strong frame. They don't smile allot, or move allot, you can't really take anything from them, they are just like a un animated "walking wall". This has its advantages, and it has its disadvantages. Girls don't necessarily want a “walking wall”, but generally that’s what they are attracted to. So you must take elements from that and combine them with a more smartly sophisticated character attributes, such as cocky funny, gambits, value demonstration routines so on. It builds a more genuine character, giving life to the wall to create ' a prince' that every girl wants to have.

Ever notice in a set, and this is for the people who actually do sarge.. that if she’s very attractive and your keen you seem to animate yourself allot, and laugh, some guys look away smiling, they loose their frame. Sometimes you have a strong frame and the girl tells you to shut up and you respond 'ok, ok" and go into a please don't hit me I'm a whimp mode?. That’s really unattractive for a girl.

Sometimes youd have perfect solid strong alpha walking wall shape then you open your mouth and your voice sounds like a whimpy biatch whose been granted parole. It effects your frame, and says allot about you as a man.

Lets list down the things that you need to keep in mind when you walk into a set. And yes you do need to keep things in mind, until you have it internalized which takes months of constant doing it right. And when you learn it, keep this constant during your set. Don't switch it off!

Monitoring yourself
Eye contact (knowing how to use your/her eyes so you dont loose frame).
Body Language
Voice tonality
Kino

Monitoring yourself:
In all the below actions you will need to under some level, monitor yourself. Make sure your not giving out negative or poor energy. Being aware off it all, and correcting any imperfections right away.

Eye Contact:
In order for you to not loose your frame you have to look through her eyes, pretend thres something beyond it, while you are talking to her. It helps. Otherwise you’ll look at her and you’ll loose all the power she’s attracted to. A girl likes when you look her in the eye, but she doesn’t like to be growled at, she likes when you sometimes look away and give her time to figure you out as you’re talking. This builds attraction, and helps solidify your frame.

Body language:
This is a understatement. From the word go you have to have perfect body language, you need to have your arms wide out if your sitting down, like the sortove cool guy in school who didn’t care about anyone and sat his own way, like a bad ass bad boy. Keep it in mind its so important... Usually around girls guys slouch, and feel uncomfortable the power is directly oozed from them. You have to imagine a force field preventing their ability to steal your energy and be in your own mind, don’t blindly go out there and let them steal your power. Keep resisting in your mind that you cant give them the advantage and hold yourself firm and direct.




Look at the cartoons posture.








Look at his hands, and how he holds them.





I believe, correct body language is the first step.
The second is mastering your styles and being cool and compatible.
The third step is releasing a powerful vibe, so that even if step one isn’t 100% right, youll have the power.

- Impact

Keep these in mind.
- Don't follow others body language, do your own thing.
- Be cool, and make your body language come across naturally.
- Hold your place, and your posture.
- Take up space, and be comfortable with yourself.

Voice tonality:
In your voice there is high mid and bass pitched frequencies. What you want to do is accentuate the bass frequencies more. Slow down your speech and try to pronounce every word as if its leading somewhere. Listen to Ross Jeffries, he has a amazing voice, especially the early NLP stuff. Now accents are cool, as long as your coming across clearly and your following those steps of making the bass in your voice stand out more than youll be alright. Practice your voice around lots of people, in a loud room, make sure everyone can hear you and adjust certain things to make it come out right. Girls love guys that express themselves well with their voice, and are not stuttering or have a really lame rotten un articulated voice. They like to hear the guy they are talking to loud and clear and like to feel his presence through it.



Listen to his voice.

Kino:
Kino is very important. When you say your initial words to a woman make sure you use some type of contact , either touching her shoulder, or taking her hand and squeezing it so she feels that your in control of yourself and you are a man. Every time you want to convey something you’ll use your touch as your talking to make her feel more comfortable, to brake that initial tension. Girls love being touched, don’t be scared!

Using all these things together help you keep a strong frame. If all fails, push 20% more ask the girl what her kind are attracted to. Tell her you’re trying to learn something valuable. You never know, that may just get you back in the race!

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

Another value dump in this forum. I wanted to talk about voice tonality more. I touched in it under controlling your frame but i never went past it.

Here is how you achieve a good voice, you’ll need some basic training to free that voice off yours. It’ll be hell at first, but you’ll be able to really get the tone you want and than all you’ll need to do after you’ve freed is, is articulate your words properly and your set to go.

Check this out, i feel its awesome.









You don't have to know music, just do what he does. After you’ve done these exercises, check out your voice and your freedom to do stuff with it. Keep in mind girls like a voice thats deep in your chest or stomach, not up near your nose for face.

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

This is awsome to determine your goals in life.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDm1g4zw8Hs[/youtube]

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

I hate the guy! but i like what he says! im still reading the above.. hey how important is the voice? the afc adam guy dosnt have the voice part yet he seems to do alright? and that mehow dude too

I would like to interject here. I work sales so these things are important to me every single day.

Eye contact I think is a key. I remember a news report a couple years ago about eye contact and how it was related to how attractive people are. The very next day I was self-aware about it and when I made eye contact with people they were much more receptive. The reason being is that more attractive people get alot more eye contact so they are going to be more used to it. Keep this in mind. The way to win over a less attractive person can be as easy as making eye contact they arent used to the attention. Also be aware that attractive people are more used to it.
Definitly a good way to win over a group of people.

Second there was a scientific study done on children. It showed when people are thinking they tend to advert their eyes from a persons face. This is done because of the amount of information that is being processed by looking at someone directly. It is apparently much harder to think when looking at someone directly. I know that I do this. Keep this in mind for reading a girl. When she is looking directly into your eyes she isent thinking. Just like Impact was talking about his dark side when two people are staring each other down about to get in a fight they are working off emotion. Looking away shows indecision but we want to be decisive and therefore confident.

Impact I also believe that everyone goes through a story like your own with a girl. I know I learned alot from one girl who I was interested in. She was never going to be mine but through her I learned I was not only good looking but what I looked attractive dressed in. Because of this I found many girls interested in me. For one because I was not chasing them. Secondly because I had learned through a girl what she thought was attractive and used this to my advantage.

Very nice post, Any more info on it would be great