Dear Adam,

I am sure you know that eye contact is an important part of seduction. The question is, do you vary the frequency and interval of your eye contact with the girl depending on where you think you stand with her? Do you find yourself gazing into her eyes more or less after you start telling her about yourself, and after she starts telling you about herself? Have you ever purposely broken eye contact with a girl to pique her interest in something? Is there ever a good time for prolonged eye contact avoidance?

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I love your style and your advice.

I have a problem I am dealing with currently. A girl I have slept with told me that she loves me. She did this while in a threesome with her friend. They aren't speaking now, and she called me over and over for the first few days. I gave her a closing speech and tried to just stay away, to let her heal. Yesterday, she called and I answered. It was a different number so don't blame me! She wants to go for coffee and talk. I had told her that I wasn't a guy for relationships, and even did my 'Love' speech in front of her. She should know where I am coming from already. Here is my question:

In the spirit of leaving them better off when we leave, how can I do this? Walking away leaves her sans her best friend and my company. She sounded distressed on the phone. My last long relationship (about 4 months) ended with me calling the police after a suicide threat from my former GF. I don't want that again. Any thoughts would be helpful.

Hey Adam,

First wanted to say thanks for taking the time out of your day to reply to us. thats awesome.

Well to the point, there are these two girls that I'm currently gaming. Girl 1, I have been gaming her for 3 months, and Girl 2, for three weeks. Both are moving extremely slow. Both are showing lots of interest with me. But I'm having a hard time getting dates with them and stuff.

I went on two dates with Girl 1, but they were a month a part, and she was just taking her time with me, hardly chatting on the phone, saying she's busy, blah blah.. but she shows crazy amounts of interest in me, but blaims her slowness on the fact that she has only been with guy, and they dated for 8 years and it recently ended ( 10 months ago ). so I told her I started seeing Girl 2, and now Girl 1 claims she is seeing someone else, which I dont believe, she also has a kid and doesnt want a new guy meeting her kid, because she wants to set a good example for the kid.... But what do I do now, because its hard to be cocky and funny and using push pull and all that other jazz for an extended long period of time, its getting predicatable and looking like its "head games" from my part..


Girl 2 is similar, but a lot younger, but she is similiar in the sense that she has only been with one guy, being very cautious and taking it slow. I set up a date with her at the movies, she kind of stood me up, I forgot about it, continued texting her, we pretended liek it never happened, I invite her on more outtings (with groups this time to make it more comfortable). and she;s like oh shit sorry im busy im working blah blah. but she is still interested by dropping mad IOI's and sayign "oh Im really looking forward to getting drinkings with you " blah blah... so this time,
she "im busy all weekend except for sunday"
Me " oh ok cool maybe some other time"
she "well how about sunday ?"
me " im busy sunday, sorry " even though Im not, im jsut sick of these waiting 7 days for a date crap, its dragged on for three weeks
she " lol so much for drinks"
me " ya so much for that"
she " we'll get it figured out"
me" ya im sure i'll bump in to you sometime soon"
she " lol ya sorry about that.. but yup I'll definetly be seeing you around"

I dont get what to do, or what im going wrong. When I game to much, girls call me cocky and say I play games or say they are too nervous to move forward because im intimidating,
when I start getting mushy and more of a ncie guy, doesnt work either...
but this is my first time dealign with chicks that have only been with one guy

therse more that i can write, but im at work. lol

thanks man !

Hey,

You've already helped me a ton in ways you don't probably realize, so it would be rude of me to start with anythink other than 'thank you'. I rarely mean it as much as I do now. Coffe, Cake and Kink - cheers for mentioning that, though every time I bring a girl there I see at least two other PUAs - I think you single-handedly saved that poor shop from bankruptcy . But I digress.

I see pickup as creating an experience for the girl - needless to say, I want to make it as awesome for her as I can. This includes sex. If you're familiar with David Shade's materials, they're pretty much the only thing I currently use in the bedroom. Is there anything out there that completely changed the way you have sex, if so, what is this gold mine of information called?

Thanks a bunch for answering our questions, I have enormous respect for you doing that.

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On we plough.

Love,

Ace

Hey bro, i just got one quick question thats kinda been puzzling me: how do you trigger the pre-selection switch if you've never had a girl?

Thx for your time man.

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Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant, you are right.
H. Ford

Dear AFC Adam Lyons.

As of to why they call you 'AFC,' I don't know. On this forum you have proven to be what this community is about. We all greatly appreciate your support and advice. I hope that one day I will be in your shoes.

Since I am not really fond of night clubs, or noisy bars, I habitually sarge at parties. They seem more of a social event. I also had my greatest success at parties. Lately, as I now know what to look for, I notice there is always an alpha male. You know, the guy who kinda runs the party, sometimes he is the one that threw the party.

My Question: How do you become the life of the party? The AMOG?

DieselFuel

Hi Adam, At the mo i have this girl who im really keen on, i got with her at this party too many times to count, went to see her last nite and got with her again, and we really enjoy each others company but she wants to take it slow and not rush things into a relationship, so i turned it round like i made that suggestion as not to make me look stupid anyway she has a endless supply of guys because shes a extremerly desirable girl which is understandable, however shes not too trustworthy and has a reputation to cheat, what i would like to know is, you know how you get those girls who will not cheat and all they think about is their boyfriend? well i would like to get her to become like that, how do i go about this? how do i have to act and what do i have to say? what do i need to demonstrate? also would love to make this into a relationship any pointers? much appreciated

Totti

Adam,

I attended your web seminar on SPAM. That was awesome man - thanks.

So here's what's been going on: I've gotten really good at opening girls and i've found different ways of closing them that have been pretty successful for me. For the most part I've hit every target i've set in terms of number closing. Your seminar was really helpful man. I don't really do contrived openers anymore. I just say what's up or "how's it goin!!" in a fun way without thinking about getting the HB in bed. I just take the perspective that I'm a really cool guy that they should want to be friends with. Once I start it gains momentum and the social proof I build brings others to me. I've realized you don't even have to open girls. If you're just a fun outgoing guy - even if you're nice to the most socially akward people, if you can make them feel comfortable you're Mr. Cool. Combining that with completely ignoring and diffusing AMOGS seems to have worked really well for me thus far. But i'm still having a sticking point.

I'm having a lot of trouble isolating my targets into an intimate setting. I usually see them at school but I'm not in a typical college setting. It's a commuter college and i don't necessarily live near the people i meet. I've tried things like this: "hey my buddies and I are going out to grab some dinner at such and such place this weekend. If you promise to behave yourself I'll call you up" Usually they laugh and say okay, but i think they're still too nervous to actually show up. It's additionally more difficult because my buddies just don't know how to behave around HBs. They get quiet, incoherent and just flat out akward. They're really cool guys but they just stress way too hard. In the end i usually end up meeting the HB for a drink at jamba juice or a tea somewhere. I've set up false time constraints and i communicate with them a bunch. In a typical day I'll get a total of like 150 texts (no joke!) between 5 or 6 HBs. But it's still not going at the pace I'd like it to. I think at this pace in about 3 months I'll have the foundation set up to get things rolling really well (i'm new to the city I'm in - about 2 months of actually meeting people here). It's really difficult though to get the HBs in an intimate setting. I feel like i've built some pretty good attraction but still i've only gotten 1 kiss close out of 7hbs (of course i haven't tried to kiss the others yet because the timing and setting wasn't appropriate IMO)

how do i speed things up?

what are some activities I can try and set up that are comfortable and low stress so that the HBs aren't intimidated or nervous?

how can i transition from a public setting to a private setting so i can isolate and kiss close?

One other note: I don't drink (for medical reasons) but i have no problem hanging out at bars.

Ok that was long I know, but i think every bit of information i provided was relevant.

I'd really like your input on this.

Much appreciated,

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

Dear Roads,

Honestly I try not to think to much about these things as they can mess up with the running of the interaction itself.

I make a strong effort to maintain eye contact as often as possible without allowing it to dominate my thoughts and have no fear of looking around at other things as I speak (so as not to be too intense)

Beyond that I try not to think too much about it.

In general I think as long as you make sure you are looking in her eyes from time to time...(and holding it before the kiss) I think you'll be more than fine.

AFC Adam,

Dear Panpan,

Thanks loads for the props! Ok this is a toughie. Not really your fault by the sounds of it, but a consequence of her getting attached and making moves to secure you.

First off do you want to be with her? if so it may be worth going for it. If not then it may be time for you to just cut it cold and move on. Any connection at all will only make it worse. Reply to messages (no need to be rude) but don't meet up, don't tell her you love her. be supportive and encourage her to make things up woth her friend. Soon enough the calls will die down. Never spend more than 15mins or so talking, and don't call her.


Tough situation man, good luck.

AFC Adam,

Dear MackB
Heya man no probs, Glad you didn't write much more though...there's ALOT here already lol...still no problems lets get to it.


Heya bro, I can see the problem a mile off. There is a pattern here that will keep developing. You're taking too much care on each interaction. Essentially making yourself outcome dependent.

A few examples include.

telling girl 1 about another girl. She doesn't care or need to know, there are much more subtle ways of communicating pre-selection with out giving off the player vybe, like inviting her out and having other girls present. Or just complaining about how girls drag you out shopping all the time...and it isn't fair, sometimes they should be made to watch football.

worrying so much about girl 2's reactions.


The key to solving this is to be sure you have options and don't try to close all the girls. Make a point of just being friendly and allowing them to chase you abit.

Try to add more girls to your lifestyle as friends and get used to interacting with them. These girls just needed to get a bit more comfort and to spend more time with you rather than on phones' and Text messages.

Create social situation where you can invite them out and they can mingle with other people seeing you in a social situation and becoming attracted naturally.

Hope this helps bro,

AFC Adam,

Dear Ace_of_Spades

No probs man! Thanks so much for the kind words!

It's an awesome shop eh?

one word.

Squirting.

AFC Adam,

Dear File,

It's simple really bro,

Start with female friends.

If you see a dude walk in a club with two chicks on his arm you assume he's banging them, rather than they are his siters. Either story could be true.

Make friends first.

Good luck!

AFC Adam,

Dear DieselFuel,


I think they call me AFC because I have no game and no very little about this stuff

Life of the party....sheesh small question massive answer.
First up Amog literally means Alpha Male other guy which in game is typically used to refere to a person attempting to steal your girl, or a prevent you from gaining a girl he wishes to claim as his own

Ok being the life and soul of a party really is easier if you create the party.

you organise the venue, the reason to be there and invite the people.

If you do this you will automatically become the life and soul as well as gaining the real life experiences to become the Alpha male in other situations.

Hope this helps.

AFC Adam,

Dear Totti,

Man unfortunately you can't change someone. She is what she is and you either like i or don't.

I'd take her at face value, enjoy it for what it is, and through time she may mature on her own.


Try not to think of game as a way of changing people to do what you want and rather as a way of making you more desirable to others en masse.

Hope this helps ya buddy!

AFC Adam,