awesome stuff man. I'd take solace in the fact that you went out there and gave it a shot. Try to take that confidence home with you!
I also agree that the state neg was perhaps too quick, but i still liked it. You could have followed it up with a bookstore-specific comment say like,
"even our bookstores in NY are better than this one" [cocky ass smile on face] "but hey, we can't all live in NY, eh?"
depending on the reaction I would either let her respond or if she looks like she wasnt down with what you said (she must love her state or something) follow up QUICK with some sort of more neutral comment to build rapport with her. I think the 90-10 principle is pretty good, where as long as you are saying something and not coming off like a dick you are generally in neutral to positive standing.
anyway, good work
