| Hey guys, i have been thinking about PUA in the theory stage the last few days and am slowly starting to expolore (what i think is, i have never read them anywhere myself) origonal ideas. I may do some more posts as i think about some new things but to start off, i have written a short bit on how i feel showing disappointment is very powerful.
Disappointment. A way to make a strong connection.
Now, as a PUA you will want to normally be creating high levels of fun, excitement and attraction. Positive emotions. However, how many of you have experimented with the power of disappointment? Not many I would imagine and neither did I until recently.
Firstly we need to understand why we use positive emotions when we are gaming. Its because when you are made to feel good because of the actions of a another, you generally like that person and feel a bond with that person. It’s all good, if done correctly this feeling of attraction because of “feel good” pull will cause a successful pick up. However, there is a serious danger of being put into a friend’s zone when u makes a person feel good. This is, in my humble opinion, because the target is already getting something out of your non-sexual relationship that is very valuable to them. Good feelings. By engaging in a sexual relationship they risk losing that connection and therefore losing the good feelings you create in them.
The important thing to remember is positive emotions are only half the side of being emotive. Negative emotions have a strong (if not stronger) affect on people. The downside is if negative emotions are associated with you, people tend not to want to be around you because you make them feel bad. So how do negative emotions help us? Firstly, you have to believe me when I say women want a man. A real man. An alpha male as many of you put it. What you have to realise is that to be an alpha you have to be a leader, a leader will make the group work better and gain respect. Most of you have that down to an art, the “feel good”. The thing is, a leader and alpha will also be just as quick to voice when they are displeased. You are the leader of a group, you must make sure your group do what you want them to. Do u want them to do things that displease you? NO!
So what has this got to do with disappointment? Think back to when u were a child, remember when your parents got angry with you. It was shit wasn’t it, you would get grounded or something and be all angry and sad. Now I want you to remember a time when they said they were disappointed in you. How did you feel? You didn’t get punished, u felt bad and felt a need to gain back the good feelings so you feel better. This same principle works with people, targets and just in life.
I have been experimenting with the affect disappointment has on people. When a girl flakes, or does something I don’t want I don’t like it. I tell them I am disappointed in them and just go. Dont get into an argument that does nothing. They need to know they did wrong and because of that you are perfectly happy to walk away. It will soak in, they will realise what they did made u unhappy and as a result you took away the good feelings you create within them. They will then want to get it back and will do everything in their power to get it back.
The other important reasons to display negative emotions are because it sets boundaries. People naturally push as far as they can to see what they can get away with. We do it from birth. Which draws can we open before mum picks us up, which bottles can we play with before we get shouted at. How high can I go on the swing before dad tells me it’s too high. It goes on like this and affects relationships in adult life. Disappointment is in my opinion the best to use in these situations because it is NOT an obvious emotional response. Anger and sadness show the person that you are affected by their action, that gives them power over you. However, disappointment shows that all their actions did was to change your opinion of them. They become worse off for doing it.
Feel free to discuss this further, your opinion on it. I believe it can be done at both the first meeting to the day you break up. It will have most affect however once comfort has been build and you have become a part of their life, their enjoyment.
Madals
P.s, This may be the only one posted in the main forum, the others might go into the PMZ.
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