I know not all PUA's are the same shape and size..But how did some of you bigger builds over come your size for doing this. I mean 6 2, 280 isn't small, but its a large build from football and fighting...I just can't seem to get over the AA to approach a HB. I can get in a cage and knuckle up, but you toss some tits in my face that I wanna talk to, and its a no deal. Just asking...

When I started I was 6'2 250 but I've dropped some weight since then. Anyways, when I started I can tell you that I tried to keep about an extra foot or two away as a smaller framed guy. Simply because you don't want to intimidate.

A good friend of mine is 6'4 and built like a linebacker wears a size 16 shoe. and he does the same thing when he approaches over the shoulder. He stay a little further away that I know some smaller guys do, so he doesn't dwarf them too much

Another thing that will help is to get them seated with you if you can, to make it not as big of a deal.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Ill try that out, I know when I do go out I'm the biggest in the group. Not cause I'm fat , but because I'm built. And now its getting worse cause were I work people have leaked out video's of my Cage fights, and its like almost like a trailer to a movie before I even step up to someone the know or heard about me. I don't know, I have been working on AA, and its coming along. It's just when I try to open, I think every one is gonna laugh at what I have to say or ill stumble on my words, which happens now and again cause the Irish accent with come out..

You'll be good man, we all screw up.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

As J said, we all screw up. You have to accept that you are a human being, and that at times, you will mess up your lines or blow a set or make a fool of yourself. You have to accept that you are not perfect.

But you know what? EVERYONE screws up, and most people are afraid of doing so in front of others. Isn't that just so...stupid? Sometimes when I talk to girls, I notice they become very shy and that they are scared to death of saying something stupid, and it's very endearing. I don't think any less of them when that happens, so I always expect the same consideration when it's my turn to be tongue tied in a set. And if they do mock me for my moment of vulnerability, it's either in good fun or it reflects more about their character than mine.

So accept that you will mess up, that you will falter before you can crawl, stumble before you can walk, and fall before you can run. Don't dwell on it, live in the moment. Know that it will happen to you, and that it's a good thing it does happen to you because it's part of being human.

You can check the thread in my signature for a similar problem I had to deal with.

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I understand that every one screws up. Just hard for me to accept second best on anything, since i was raised with your only the best as your worst. No matter what I did, if I built a house but bent one screw I was only as good as that bent screw...Really strict values, and they stuck with me to the point were if i know i can't do it...I wont try it...Sucks.....I can run threw scenarios and openers all day in my head to a T of what i want to say and do, how it will go..Soon as I see the person I want to open to, I just abort.......

J Smooth I tried to email ya...didn't work....i went to ya site..

Again, you tell me what your problem is. Again, I will tell you what the solution is: accept yourself.

You keep thinking you have problems, you were raised to be a certain way and now it's getting in the way of your life, and to be really blunt I think you mask a good amount of self loathing with a generous layer of self pity.

Whatever. Ultimately, you have the power to heal yourself, to become the better, more confident version of you that you want to be. Accept that you are socially awkward, and that you have approach anxiety, and that pretty girls get your vocal cords bunched up into a knot. Then go out and do something about it.

What was it like before you got hit the first day of training camp as a freshman? What was it like just before you got caught by a haymaker to the side of the head for the first time? I'll bet you were scared. It's no different here. You're going to be scared before you talk to your first "Hot Babe". It doesn't take courage to do something that you're not afraid of, and unfortunately the only way to work out your problems is through the path of courage.

The first step on this journey is accepting and acknowledging that you are imperfect. You're half way there by posting here and seeking advice, and JSmooth is an excellent mentor having walked the path of courage in his life to better himself so I wholeheartedly recommend you seek out his help on your journey. But at the risk of sounding redundant, in order to truly better yourself you must be completely honest with yourself and acknowledge the man that you are right now. Simple, but not easy. Good luck.

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Good Spot Roads...dead on....and I agree....there was no greater feeling then getting busted in the jaw for the first time to let me know I'm alive. Thank you for all the advice...I guess accepting who I am with my flaws to over come them is my own fault...I am who i am, and I should use that to my advantage. Thanx again

EXACTLY! Your ears ring, there's a buzzing in your head, the adrenaline spike, all the sound just stops and you see your opponent and yourself in slow motion. Makes you feel alive, makes you live in that moment, that instant, as if all the time in the world just didn't matter and there's nothing more important than the next heartbeat, the next move you make. And you don't even think about it, you just do it.

Talking to and getting to know girls is no different. There's fear, there's adrenaline, there's the rush when the first smile comes, then the IOI's, and before you know it you feel just so happy, so complete, so alive, so good.

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Thanx.....Also props to Jsmooths youtube collection....Ive seen each vid three times..

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" Just trying to be as good as jSmooth, right now I'm like chunky peanut butter ya digg..."

Glad you like it man! I need to update my montage but otherwise it's pretty cool. I saw your add on myspace and I messaged you back.

I think Roads has gotten through to you here, and he makes some excellent points. No one starts off as the best at anything. You slowly get better over time. Everyone has to go through a training phase, and practice.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...