Rye,

Do you think it's a good idea to ask a set of girls "So, where are your boyfriends?" I'm not sure if you want to give them the chance to mention they have a boyfriend. I said this to a 2 set at a bar last night after getting to know them. I did find out that one of them didn't have a boyfriend and I got her number. I'm just not sure if it's a good idea.

I never acknowledge the fact that girls have bfs, or if I do, then I ask about them politely, while complimenting the guys in such a way, that the girl usually views him as how she truly does feel about him, letting me know how she is unfulfilled in the relationship. This isn't something that you just start doing, it takes practice and to have talked to a lot of girls with bfs/fiances/husbands.

If you're not trying to run a "bf destroyer" on her, so that you are able to get the issue of her having a bf nullified, then don't talk about him at all. If she has one and it's gonna be an issue with her, then she'll bring it up. If she doesn't have one, or it isn't an issue, then she won't bring it up, so why give her something more to worry about and question the fun she's having with you? Unless she tells you to stop, you're not doing anything she doesn't want, so you keep going assuming that she is interested in finding the best man possible and you're in the running.

There are ways to go about asking that question and still succeed, but unless you are trying to push yourself to accomplish some really tough stuff, just stick to the basics for now.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Hey Rye, I sent you a PM two days ago, just letting you know

Mike

I've found a HB to be my pivot, Now there's a list of rules for wingmen, but what instructions should i give her. I havn't told her about the game, just the basics of what i do, and she's happy to assist me when i go out sarging. I go clubbing with girls, but alot of the time its sarging with my own personal cock block because they get jelous. Anyway if you can let what i should say to this girls so she makes a good pivot it would really help.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Hey Rye Lee,

I'm having a situation here. I gamed this incredibly beautiful chick the Saturday before last. So, we met almost two weeks ago. We hung out the next day on Sunday. It was on from the start. A great connection, a great girl, etc. To me this girl is a 10 --the total package. However, she is a virgin and very tenative, especially since all her friends have warned her that i may be a "player." The first night we met was my best sarging night of my life ---i bounced her and her group to 4 places. I also had a prior D2 show up and both girls were all over me --the jealosy plot line. I had incredible social proof as well, since a friend was having a b-day paarty at one of the places we stopped. So basically, this allowed me to get the girl, but also gave me the player stamp.

Anyway, back to my situation. We met Saturday, hung out on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday --and then EVERY DAY since Thursday until today (6 days). So we met April 26th (Saturday) and have hung out every day except for 2 days, until today. On Thursday 5/1, I spent the night over at her house. Sexually, it went very far --in fact, she told me that she had never gone that far before. This freaked her out and sexually we have actually regressed since then --she hasn't allowed me to go that far again. Since that Thursday (5/1), we've spent the night together every night.

Now, last night she was a bit icy. I asked her what was wrong, etc. She basically was afraid that i would use her for sex and move on. I really like this chick --i want her as my girlfriend. So we decided to become exclusive last night (boyfriend/girlfriend).

Now, we are supposed to meet up again tonight. I have a few questions --i've obviously made myself too available and have shown waaaaaaay too much interest. What should my move be now? I haven't f-closed yet. I want to move the sexual situation forward. I also want to keep her as my girl. Keep the attraction going. Should I back off a little? Maybe cancle on her tonight? Should I show less interest and see her less days per week?

Let me know.

Tell her to be flirty, but not act like your gf. You should be able to kino her without her minding, put your arm around her, whisper into her ear, all the stuff that you are intending to do with your targets, short of kissing. You don't want to keep this up the whole time, just do it here and there, so that they see it and notice that you are a touchy guy, even with your girl friends (although they're trying to figure out what your relationship really is, whether it's just friends or what). She should touch you too, but in a flirty or friendly way, again not in a way that demonstrates that she IS your gf.

If you've had any experience with a wing, similar tactics can apply, by having her come into a set after you've been in for a couple minutes and warmed it up some, or you can go into a set she's opened. Alternately, you can do what you generally don't do with wings and take her right into the set with you, with your arm around her waist and then after you introduce yourself, you shake hands and don't put your hand back on her waist (they'll notice this and take it that you're not together, but keep the fact that you are able to easily touch her like that in mind). Have her DHV you just like you would have a wing do. Make sure she doesn't tell TOO many embarressing stories, but a silly one here and there isn't bad, cause it shows that you're not trying to come off as infallable and that you're just a fun guy that sees the humor in the silly things you've done/had happen.

Find a way to convey to her who your target is, so that when you want to isolate, you are able to have her occupy the rest of the set and you just turn yourself and the target to face away from the group, while still staying in proximity, or even taking her away is alright, because you've left the group with another girl and not some guy they don't know, so it is an equal trade. One that I've been using, that Kinoescalator taught me, is to say, "Hey, doesn't she remind you of <insert girl's name>?!" directed at your target, then your wing/pivot will say, "Yeah! Totally!" and you can even make a comment about how it's the nose, or eyes or something you want to neg/compliment about her. Once you've said that, she now knows that's the girl you're interested in, so she'll help you get her and occupy the rest of the group when you isolate.

If you need any more info, just let me know what it is you're looking for!

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Try to see her fewer days, don't respond to her immediately if you have been, but also don't play power games and fuck her around just to show that you're not always available. Don't cancel on her unless you have a reason to, that's just living up to that player label.

She's got commitment fears, she's afraid that if she gives you sex, she's gonna lose you, so you need to let her know that's not the case by emoting to her a bit about how you feel about her. Don't go overboard and don't do it when you're just sitting around, do it when you're in the bedroom and things are heating up, otherwise it doesn't come off as romantic and passionate, but as needy. Yes, in a relationship of this nature (exclusive ones), there are times when you have to be more "needy" than how you would act if it were just something casual. It's a different ballgame man, so the rules are somewhat different and you're gonna have to recalibrate as you go.

Try not to get too deep and mushy or involved too quickly, because that will push her away, but remember that you do need to get deeper than you would in just a casual relationship, as the context of your connection is different. Have fun, don't take things too seriously and if you feel yourself being too needy, back it off a bit, because although emoting is key to this kind of relationship, neediness is never attractive.

If things don't work out, don't go crazy stalker just cause you fell for her, remember you're a PUA and if things don't work out, you just move on. That doesn't mean that you can't put in effort to make it work that you ordinarily wouldn't with just a casual relationship though, because as I've said about 50 times so far now, this is a different type of relationship and there's more involvement there, so you have a right to put more effort in to preserve it.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Hey, Rye Lee. I've been reading some of your posts. Good stuff. I was wondering if I could get your opinion on this: new-and-need-help-with-a-girl-whos-hung-up-vt21543.html

"If things don't work out, don't go crazy stalker just cause you fell for her, remember you're a PUA and if things don't work out, you just move on. That doesn't mean that you can't put in effort to make it work that you ordinarily wouldn't with just a casual relationship though, because as I've said about 50 times so far now, this is a different type of relationship and there's more involvement there, so you have a right to put more effort in to preserve it."

haha, yeah, you could sense it too right? I have fallen for this chick which is rare for me. Even though I've only been in the game for 4-5 months, I have been successful with women and this kind of thing rarely happens to me. In fact, I don't remember the last time I liked a girl this much. Of course it's obvious that she has fallen for me as well. But then again, it's only been 2 weeks. We'll see how it goes --i'm not really the type to like someone more than they like me so if it doesn't work out it'll just mean a few weeks of pain and then on to the new sarge. My skills have just recently moved on to the next level --it's rather a shame that i found a girl. I was having a helluva time sarging ---and i'll actually continue to sarge (i'm heading out tonight) just to keep my skills high and avoid the oneitus. Sincerily, i thank you for your help. Even though i'm not really a newbie, you've answered a lot my questions.

Here...

Opened strong with a 10, good second meeting, but lost some game when I showed a little too much interest in the last 20 minutes or so, and things seems to take a step back. Fully believe I can get it back, just need some advice on how.

So I text this girl who i have been hanging out with for awhile "sexy can i, just pardon my manners" its a line from a song

now she replied back "are you singing to me or trying to tell me something "
how do i keep the flirting going since shes obviously referring to sex?

_________________
"Never be afraid to try something new. Always remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic"

"Why can't I do both?" then some other line from the same or a different song that is flirty.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Heading to Vancouver to do a workshop and then attend my sister's wedding, so any questions asked will have to wait until I return on the 26th of May.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Lee first let me say I apreciate all your hard work!

Now off to my topic. I havent been here for a couple of month due to a busy schedule! So I have little to no practice you can say and I have kinda forgot a few things. So I wanted to turn to you for a quick hep for the situation that I am in right now.


yesterday while walking to school I bumped into HB9 that is freinds with my cusin and I have known her for sometime now. Due to my school schedule I havent seen here for 2-3 months until up to this point. I was surprised to see her since she doesnt go to my college.

She saw me and waved at me from inside of her car. So I walked up to her and started the conv. Right off the bat she was happy to see me. (keep in mind I have never tryed gaming her, but now I want to) The convo goes something like this.

HB:hey mstyle (waving)
ME: Hey (her name)
HB:omg how have you been blah blahe
ME: blah... what are you doing here?
HB: I'm here to pick up a friend blah!
ME: I hear you changed your number?
HB: ya I have! (she goes through her phone and finds my number)
ME: wow you still kept my number?
HB: laughing shut up!
HB: its funny I was just thinking about you today! (texting me so I can have her new number)
Me: Omg what are you doing wrining me a paragraph?
HB: laughing hits me on the arm playfully

we talk a bit more about her finals and where i was hetting to and told her i had to go and leave. As soon as I leave i text her "

ME:wow who was that sexy guy you were just talking to? damn HB =)
HB: LOL UR FUNNY

so I went out of my way and asked her to join me and a few freinds to 6 flags this weekend for memorial weekend if she didnt have plans already!

So said she was going to santa barbara! and then she was like i am afraind of 6 flags lol

So I told her dont worry we will do something else some other time! and that I wouln'd have let anything happen to her!

So after a few hours at night when I got home I texted her!
Me: (her name)
HB: my name but spelled wrong
ME: You looked hot today! You are lucky I have school today or else! btw my name is ( the right spelling) but you can call me lover! =) (I know cheesy)
HB: Ur so randum! But thank you
Me: what are you wearing?
HB: no response!!

This is where I need help! I wanted to build up some sexual tension between us so she wont look at me as freinds! Now how do i go by doing this with us messing up anything?
today it is one day past that convo! I want to say something different today to spark things up!

LEE please point me to the right direction! I woulnd so appreciate it! and my bad this waas kinda long!

Further development here, in this morning's post...would just appreciate an expert's opinion, I guess, to see if I'm on the right track or quite far off.