At a club last weekend I met a random person who introduced me to a three-set of girls--a 5, an 8, and a 10. I was VERY into the 10 but as I was super busy all over the club with different people (and various girls) that night I barely had time to regard her when we met before I was off somewhere else again. Between all the action I was getting and the fact that I had people cheering me on when I danced that night and was given a really fabulous impromptu wing intro by a mutual friend I'd only just met, I came into the set with MAJOR social proof. Occasionally when I was out on the floor dancing with/macking on other girls (I got seven numbers at that one club last weekend, more than double my previous personal best, and all 8s or above), I'd glance across the floor and see her dancing with someone else but watching and flashing me this VERY sexy smile.

Later, after ALL the other girls I'd been working on left, it seemed the 10 had gone home before I got around to her, and I went looking for my next target and spotted the 10 with her friends at the bar. I went up and re-opened, and they were showering me with compliments. I told the 10 she owed me a dance. She lit up and said, "Ooh, I've been hoping all night you'd ask me to dance! You're SO good."

And so it was. We were pressed together nonstop for the rest of the night. When the music ended I asked if I could have her number. Her eyes lit up again and she literally shouted, "Yes!" After all that kino, a specific plan to meet again, and a lot of hand holding during our goodbyes, I opted for a couple of very hot cheek kisses instead of on the mouth.

We got together two days later at another place and danced again, with her same girlfriends and the guys they'd met that night. I was a little off at first because the event started in late afternoon and I'm not strong with day game, but the later it got the more comfortable I became. She was excited that I was there. We had a really hot time and though she danced with other guys it was clear she preferred me and she always returned. Also her two girlfriends really took to me, and when the 10 was off dancing with other guys I used that time to forge really good conversations with the friends, who no doubt left speaking positively of me.

Trouble is, I think I showed a little too much interest at the very end of the night. No specific thing, just in general over like the last 20 mins. We discussed specific hangout plans again but there didn't seem to be the same vibe as before. When I walked her to her car at the end of the night (which I now think I shouldn't have done), before I could attempt to hug or kiss her, she lunged in, hugged me very tightly, and gave me a quick, wettish peck on the side of my neck, then broke away and said good night, which really confused me, which is maybe what she wanted.

I decided to wait a long while to contact her, but ended up dropping her a quick text this afternoon to let her know the club's DJ put a video online from Saturday and we're dancing in it. She simply replied, "Awesome! I'll check it out. Thanks!"

I know there's interest there, and I have a lot backing me up. I definitely think it's waned, but I also 100% believe I can get it back...I'm just not experienced enough to know how. Do I respond to her text? Or...what?

Well I'm new to these sites but I will give you my opinion of what to do.

First i believe you shouldn't set up plans to hang out with the girl another time when you are hanging out with her. Thats one of the first rules I have. You should always be a challenge.

Second I would not respond to that text leave it as it is.

Third you got 2 options I feel the weekends are really for meeting new girls so I try to keep girls I wanna hook up with or date for weekday stuff. If you like her and shes into u, u can ask her out on a weekday. Don't really go with something thats to formal like a date be like i'm doing xxxx if you would like to join me. Also keep it so that its something that keeps the focus off of her. I would stay away from like dinner for example especially since you think u might like her more then she likes you and she might not be that interested and shes a 10, dinner shows that you are really interested in her vs a pseudo-date i'm doing xxx wanna join me works better in my expereinces if your uncertain she wants to date you or how into u she is.

If you just wanna fuck her then you can line her up for a weeekend next time ur going out with ur freinds and just A game her to the bedroom. You gotta try to get her away from her freinds and alone with you so you can get her out of there. If that doesn't work what I've always done is a late night party at my place or a freinds place and get them to come back there then its pretty easy from there. The rest of the stuff to do is all in the other forums here it seems the guys here have it laid down to a science what i've always done is sorta tease the girl i'm interested, don't give her all ur attention, let her see u talking to other girls and her freinds but don't be like actively gaming them, just use them to make her jealous or at least feel that u have good social value.

Also u gotta hook up with her or else u'll soon be freinds so make an emotional connection with her somehow, get her to chase u by being a challenge and kino kino kino.

I wouldn't reply to her text, stay busy, don't get hooked on her just cause you like her. Set up another meeting for this weekend, I recommend somewhere not too far from your place, so that you guys can hang out, do some random stuff, then you can take her back to your place to show her some cool things and escalate things further.

Stop with the hugs and cheek/neck kisses, get the full on kissing going and don't "opt for cheek kisses instead of full on mouth kisses", as it sets a precident and a comfort zone that you now have to break her out of. Escalate kino through your next meeting, hand on her lower back, playful punches/shoves, hold her hand and interlock fingers, stare into each other's eyes, brush her hair back from her face, etc.

The reason why you are feeling things waning, is because you started strong and now you've slowed way down. You have to keep forward momentum in order to keep it from dying down and burning out.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

EXACTLY! This is so always true i've noticed

Thank you both. That's already been a big help.

I can't meet with her this weekend because that first night she told me she has family plans this weekend but we made really loose plans for next weekend which I'll firm up I guess during the week. The trouble with this girl is that she's from here, but she now lives an hour away in another city where she works. She hates being so far away and plans to come back next year, but for now she only makes it into the city on the weekends with her friends (which also makes it hard to isolate her because for now they meet up and carpool). Fortunately, since she's a teacher and school's almost out (and she stays with her friends here all summer) the opportunity really opens up in a few weeks when she goes local again, but at the moment I'm limited to the weekend, usually just Saturdays.

Any particular way I should go about setting up that next meeting (next weekend, I guess) though? I live with my family (for now) but I don't have a problem bringing her home if she doesn't mind it.
Exactly. I definitely knew not to go in that direction and am working to keep it in the "let's both end up in the same place" arena. The only reason we made loose plans for next weekend is because she mentioned they were gonna be somewhere and I should come. I did tell her though (and it's true) that I might have a conflict that night so I'm not sure.
Got it. Will definitely focus on that. I'd intended to kiss her after the second meeting but I kinda screwed up the mood, I think, and she jumped in first to beat me to the punch...the neck kiss suggested though that there's still some potential there. Part of me still has that feeling like "it's not okay to touch a girl unless she asks" and that's one of the big things I'm working on, reminding myself that kino is OKAY and GOOD. Definitely will keep that going.
Also a problem I tend to have, but I'm still new at this so there's plenty of time to turn it around. As I said in the post, she always seemed to prefer me and always came back to me...and rude as it was, the two guys who came with her girlfriends became increasingly transparent by slowly turning their attention to working on my 10 throughout the evening. I felt bad for her friends (esp the 9, who really liked her guy, but I think it worked out for them in the end) but I didn't show jealousy because I knew she'd come back (and because I was clearly the best guy at the table on all fronts, a situation in which I don't often find myself). She kept throwing them off and returning, so that's gotta be worth something, I figure.

I'll keep at it. I'm also concentrating really hard on sarging other girls and a REALLY sweet 10 I met earlier that first night who's very into me, so that I don't get to preoccupied with this one.

...So after no communication for over a week, I texted Thursday and just said, "Hey, what's up this weekend?" Nothing back.

It sucks because there are a million variables here. She's a teacher and the school year's wrapping up and she's had a lot going on at work. Maybe she didn't have time to respond. Maybe she meant to get around to it later and got swamped and forgot. I've been having problems with my phone lately and sometimes people don't even GET my text messages...it's happened increasingly often, sometimes several times a day. Or maybe I totally blew it, or maybe I blew it a little bit and then let it go for too long without trying again. I have no idea, and the questions are making me go AFC and it's getting under my skin.

A friend suggested texting her again this weekend, very late in the evening when I know she'll be out and with her girlfriends who liked me, and therefore in a good mood and probably drinking and definitely near her phone. My friend said all that increases the likelihood of a response, and a quick one at that.

Thoughts/suggestions? I'd really like to get this girl out again to try and erase the memory of whatever went wrong last time.

I never got a response to my text after that last post, but the next night when I was out dancing, at 1:45a she called me when I was about to leave the club. I hesitated and wondered if I should even answer, and I went out onto the patio and let it go until right before the voicemail would've kicked in, and I answered and said "Hello?" She asked if I was at the club, and I said, "Yes...who is this?" She said who it was and I told her I didn't know how long the phone had been vibrating in my pocket and hit the button without looking at the name. She said she and the 5 had been hanging at a bar a few blocks away and wanted to stop by if the music wasn't ending at 2a. I said I believed it was, and I was probably on my way out, and the dancing had stopped because a guy had passed out and the EMTs were outside. She said another time, and I was very nonchalant about the whole thing, hung up, and went back in.

The DJ immediately announced that the music was going late that night, and so I texted her back something simple like, "I was wrong. They're going till around 2:45." A few seconds later, she calls me back saying, "We're on the highway, but we're gonna pull a U-turn and head there." I was like, "Um...wow, really? It's not worth all that. We can catch up next time." She said, "No, it's cool, we wanna come down." She asked me for directions, and I gave her the steps to get to the club from where they were and ended the call. Five minutes later, I'm at the bar with my back to the door and she taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and she's got this huge smile and she throws her arms around me. I probably looked AFC for a minute because I responded in exactly the same way. It wasn't that I was, like, exploding with joy, I just didn't expect her to get there that soon and was taken by surprise when I turned to find her, and so my reflex reaction was to respond with the same level of enthusiasm she showed (like when an old friend greets you at a party). Oh well.

I goofed around with the 5 friend and had them in stitches with the story about the guy who'd passed out (the EMTs were just leaving as they pulled up, so it gave me a great story op). The girl and I danced one or two short songs, but it was tough because this time it was a two-set and she didn't wanna leave her friend sitting alone. The short, chubby guy who'd been her hookup and date a few weeks back was at the club again that night, but he was trying to mack on other girls and never came over to even say hi to 5. (He did, however, interrupt me and my girl on the way to the floor to hug her and yell, "Hey, long time no see!" She kinda snickered at him and said, "It's been two weeks!" and she told the story to 5 and laughed at him several times while I was sitting with them.)

It was kind of odd because they really wanted to come for the end of the night but just sort of sat there most of the time. It was too loud to really attempt any decent kind of conversation, and suddenly she was being hands-off and disinterested like the end of the last date, so I started playing her hot and cold because I couldn't game with all the noise and I was out of ideas. I pulled the 5 up and danced and laughed with her for a song and then I did get my girl up again for one song. She grinned the whole time, and I looked at her funny and said, "Oh...oh--oh, wait, what is this? What's that smile? Could it be you're...(gasp)...having fun?! Oh my god, I think you ARE!" She threw her head back and laughed and said, "Of course I am!" We went back to sitting and I alternated disinterest and kino again.

When the music ended, she and 5 chattered about how much fun they'd had and how they should've been there the whole night and needed to come back as soon as possible. The girl said she couldn't come the next weekend (which was this one that just ended) because it was her dad's birthday, but that in two weeks (next weekend) they'd be celebrating the end of school and would be there to celebrate all their new free time. I didn't really get it 'cause she'd seemed dull and bored most of the time they were there, but whatev. The chubby guy came over again now that the music was over, and he was being WAY too eager and it was embarrassing just to watch it. She smiled knowingly as she circumvented most of his questions. We walked out together and she gave me a really distant, shallow hug and I didn't even consider attempting a kiss or something because I was still baffled by her behavior and was purposely holding way back.

I'm going to a concert with some friends this Friday night and wanna see if she wants to join us. I called her Sunday night around 10:45 (I figured if she was somewhere at that time she probably wouldn't be too busy to answer for a minute) but got her voice mail. Didn't leave a message. I assume I should try her one more time this week, probably today because if I don't get a response I want time to shore up another date for the show.

Questions:

-Should I have answered when she called, or left it?
-What's up with her behavior?
-How did I do in responding to it?
-What, if anything, does it mean that she busted on the other guy (who's clearly failed) in front of me?
-Do I call her again this week? When, and do I leave a message if I don't get her?

Like I think I said before, now that school's ending this weekend she'll move back into town again for the summer and I'll then finally be in a position to work on building real momentum.

Dude, I am new here so maybe I'm off in saying this but I think you are doing pretty good. The only thing I would change is I would have hit up a couple of other girls at the last club after the phone call. Which by the way was definitely a call that should of been answered. Although a girl calls you post 1am - means booty call where I am from.


She called, at that time which can mean one of two things, either a) she thinks your a club rat or b) booty call. Neither are a bad thing, and both can be used together. I would just call her and ask her out for real, cause the only thing worse then being rejected is not trying.

Def didn't mean booty call since she was with a friend who was driving and she wouldn't even leave her for more than one or two songs, and considering she was acting weird...nerves, maybe, I dunno. But if it was nervousness, also not a booty call.

I called this afternoon (got voicemail like I figured) and left a message saying I'd come into some concert tickets for Friday and wanted to see if she was interested, but I have a small time window for finding out and so she should call me back. We'll see.

Any other opinions on that random club meeting appreciated.

i didn't read EVERY single word of your posts but it defiantly seemed that you're giving way too much interest especially if she's a 10. Your first post of pimping the entire club sounds like a true PUA and you've slowed down the tempo and focused so much on this girl only after 1 good night.

In my opinion you phoned/txted too much especially when she didn't respond. I wouldn't have answered her call at 2am or so about the club since she didn't respond earlier. When she came that night...you should have been "being friendly" with her but defiantly toned down your interest b/c she toned down hers or was playing games. Instead you should have invited her there and maybe used her as a pivot/social proof in opening up more sets...just so she knows she's not the prize.

I thought about that but knew it wasn't possible because the crowd at the club thinned out early that night, and that's actually why I was about to leave when she called--there weren't many girls left and none I was interested in who weren't taken.

I've been working on lots of other girls in the meantime, she just doesn't know and hasn't seen me with any others because we've talked and seen each other so little since the first meeting, and one was a date (and there were no other young girls at that place anyhow) and the other time was that late appearance at the club. If she shows up for the whole night this weekend like she said, I'll definitely be using her as proof and macking on every ass in the place, whether or not she ends up out with me at the concert Friday. I just can't figure out where she is right now, and circumstances have screwed up my momentum.

First off, I wouldn't have argued when they said they were gonna pull a U-turn, because if you were trying to display dissinterest, then that isn't congruent, you should have been like, "Sure, I'll be around, come find me."

When she hugged you, you did the RIGHT THING by hugging her back and smiling, cause it is an IOI from her and so you're giving one back. You're trying to think so much about playing games that you're not running on instinct and that's probably why she's going hot and cold, you're not congruent, which makes her incongruent. If you want to make progress, you have to be able to show her that she interests you, just that you're not so needy that you are gonna chase her.

You are gonna need to escalate things soon, otherwise you'll end up in the friend zone, so I'd suggest you work towards a kiss close next time you see her.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye