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PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:19 am 
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wadup.

how do you get over the need (every human naturally has) for an emotional connection with someone.

most guys fill that need by getting a girlfriend, end up getting too emotionally attached, become dependant, and become chodes. Just to have her take advantage of you, break your heart, and send you down a spiral of depression.

how do you truly achieve the 'i really don't give a fuck' attitude... pretty much?

peace.
Self sufficience.

Be happy with who you are and what you have going on in your life, so that when you involve girls in your life, it isn't because you are trying to fill a void, you are going for that connection and fun experiences. That way, if they leave your life, whether it's by your choice or theirs, it doesn't destroy you, because you still have a fantastic life and are happy with who you are.

So many guys become depressed wrecks after a girl breaks up with them, because they were depending on her for their happiness and letting her be the biggest most important thing in their lives, so that without her, they don't know what they are supposed to be doing. It's like suddenly being homeless, but still having a job and friends and stuff, but what do you do when you're not working or hanging out with your friends, you don't have a place to go home to and sleep, eat, watch tv, read a book, etc, so what do you do during that time?

This is how many men feel when they lose that girl, they don't know how to occupy themselves, what to think about, what to do, what to spend their money on, because they have devoted it all to her. SO DON'T DO THAT.

Have a solid life for yourself, with friends, a job you are happy with, a home and hobbies. You have a life that you are content with, then you can bring other people into it and if they end up leaving your life later, then it isn't a big deal, cause you are happy with or without them.

It's not about being emotionally distant and not caring about people, like a lot of PUAs try to achieve, because like you said, "how do you get over the need (every human naturally has) for an emotional connection with someone?" You can't. You just don't make it the foundation of your happiness, you make it the icing on the cake.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:27 am 
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Hi Rye,

I work in this company with many employees. My floor alone has about 60 employees, each divided by cubicles. A few cubicles away from mine, i like this girl, but she don't know me. She seen me walking around, but thats it.

Any ideas how i can initiate a conversation wit her? And then continue to be with her, like if there's anyway i could initiate lunch on a daily basis n not get rejected? And then going home & out together?

network
Don't plan on having lunch together on a daily basis, because you can't expect that without ever having even talked to her. You need to stop thinking so far ahead and just look at the first couple steps, then you wouldn't be so concerned with how to open her.

Initiate a conversation by saying absolutely anything and then you transition into other topics, talk about things you're interested in and find out what her interests are by talking in a way that she will tell you herself, or you say, "What about you?" after you give a few pieces of information about yourself. You convey your sense of humor, the fact that you're fun to be around so that she will want to have lunch with you at least once to begin with and if that goes well, then you make it a repeat thing maybe a few days later, maybe a week later (just not to the day, because then you look way too planned and like you're making a thing of it), then increase in frequence if things continue to go well.

I wouldn't try to make it an every day thing, because that makes her the only thing in your life, you need to have some other people you hang out with to, to show social proof and that you're not needy.

As far as getting her to lunch, the easiest way, is to ask her after you have had a few minutes of good conversation. If the first time or two you talk to her, the conversations are rocky and uncomfortable, then don't ask her to lunch right away, because you haven't built up the comfort level to that point yet, so you need to talk to her a few more times, till you have built rapport and lunch will be enjoyable, not uncomfortable.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:38 am 
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Hi man, i posted this in the forum but did not get the unswer i wanted, maybe you can help:

How to respond to a HB that asks you whether or not you have a GF?

Is it ok to mention (indirectly) that you have a girlfriend in the conversation to lower the bitch shield, make you look less needy, preselected and etc?

Is it ok if after some connection is created and HB ask about you GF, you respond with something like "she is very hot but there is nothing serious about this relationship" and follow up with "beauty is common but i look for more" routine?

Memento answered me:

I never say that I have a girlfriend, I say something that communicates that I have women who are close to me in my life who are of high value and who I protect and care very much for. It would be better for you to communicate that than to say you you have a girlfriend.

- Memento
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I understand what you are saying, agree with it 100% and try to implement it as well as i can...

but still i often find women asking me whether or not i have girlfriend way before i am able to communicate the kind of image you were talking about.

Also i found myself not being comfortable saying that i don't have a girlfriend because it seems like it lowers my status, and it feels as DLV.

PS

the funny part is that i actually have a girlfriend that is HB 10 + intelligent + makes three times more money than me. We have dated for 3,5 years now so the sex got really boring. Also because i was fateful all the time my pick up abilities and skill went down dramatically

PPS

It may seem like I'm boasting here but the point is its hard for me to take that look the girls give me when i say i don't have a GF. Like why don't you have one? It there something wrong with you? When I'm actually dating someone that is better then them in all aspect. Maybe it goes down to the time i was still virgin and felt really embarrassed to admit that i really don't have a girlfriend?
You can either do like Memento said and basically let them know that there are women in your life that you protect and care for. You can say this as the very first thing if she asked you the question before you said anything else, so don't make excuses by saying that it is before you can communicate that image to them.

or

You can outright say that you don't and as long as you show that you are a cool guy, it doesn't make a huge difference, but you aren't pre-selected.

or

You can tell her that going out with someone doesn't mean you're off the market, unless you're in a committed relationship where you think you're gonna get married and you aren't in one of those.

There's tons of other ways to say those things and ways to show you are pre-selected, without discussing it so much, but I base a lot of it upon the context of the question, in order to give a response that won't ruin my chances.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:42 am 
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thx man


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:13 pm 
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great insight, thanks.


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 Post subject: hey Rye Lee
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:47 am 
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Hey man,

I met this girl Sat night at a bar/lounge. She was there with some dude (friend), but it wasn't long before I isolated her. We spoke for almost 30 minutes alone. I got her number, etc. In the end, the guy friend comes over and says: "you're doing a great job man, but my friend has to take me dancing. We're going across the street." I wasn't really sure what to say to that, but I gave the chick a hug and moved on.

Now, I thought everything went well. There was tons of kino, a lot of IOIs,etc. However, when I called she didn't answer the phone. I left a message: "something funny happened to me, call me back, i gotta tell you," etc. She texted me back instead --- "i'm really busy, looking forward to your story, email me instead." I texted her back, "I'm not really the emailing type, I'll just give you a call some other time." She emailed back: "looking forward to your call, sorry i;'m busy" etc.

We met Sat. I called her Mon. Texts happened the next day.

What does all this mean? Is she into me? How long should I wait to call her? Etc. Thanks.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 7:42 am 
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hey, after experiencing a terrible one night stand, I came to the realization that I want a emotional and spiritual connection with a girl. Though I'm a 22 year old virgin and have never had a girl friend. I know this may sounds dorky but my biggest passion in life has always been comics. and if I can connect with the so you say; nerd girl, the girl every guy secretly wants. It would be the most awesome spiritual connection I could experience. You know like a girl who carries a pink Nintendo DS, listens to Gorillas, watched anime in high school and is all about gaming. Maybe thats being a little to specific, buts thats just giving you the idea.

any way I live in the northwest and theres this convention coming up called Emerald City Comic con, if any girls like I just explained exist somewhere in the world, thats is probably the one and only place I'd find them EVER.

So how could I run game in an enviorment like that.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:01 pm 
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Can you give me some descriptions of IOIs that the woman will give, and what do I do to show some IOI's? IOD's come after an IOI, and are negs generally right?

I'm a newb, just started learning last night...so I'd appreciate all help provided.


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 Post subject: Re: hey Rye Lee
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:14 pm 
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Hey man,

I met this girl Sat night at a bar/lounge. She was there with some dude (friend), but it wasn't long before I isolated her. We spoke for almost 30 minutes alone. I got her number, etc. In the end, the guy friend comes over and says: "you're doing a great job man, but my friend has to take me dancing. We're going across the street." I wasn't really sure what to say to that, but I gave the chick a hug and moved on.

Now, I thought everything went well. There was tons of kino, a lot of IOIs,etc. However, when I called she didn't answer the phone. I left a message: "something funny happened to me, call me back, i gotta tell you," etc. She texted me back instead --- "i'm really busy, looking forward to your story, email me instead." I texted her back, "I'm not really the emailing type, I'll just give you a call some other time." She emailed back: "looking forward to your call, sorry i;'m busy" etc.

We met Sat. I called her Mon. Texts happened the next day.

What does all this mean? Is she into me? How long should I wait to call her? Etc. Thanks.
Well you left out every bit of important information, so I can't give you a real answer.

They went to another place to go dancing, but you got her number, so that's perfectly good. You called and she was busy, so you are texting with her the next day, but you don't say what happened with that, so who knows whether it's good or bad?

Personally, I believe texting is better if you have a solid connection, because there is less chance of her flaking on a phone call, than on a text that she can choose to never reply to, just like when you leave a voicemail, over actually talking to her. I think you need to get it back to phone conversation and set up a day 2. If that happens, then she may be interested, if she flakes, then move on.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:17 pm 
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Quote:
hey, after experiencing a terrible one night stand, I came to the realization that I want a emotional and spiritual connection with a girl. Though I'm a 22 year old virgin and have never had a girl friend. I know this may sounds dorky but my biggest passion in life has always been comics. and if I can connect with the so you say; nerd girl, the girl every guy secretly wants. It would be the most awesome spiritual connection I could experience. You know like a girl who carries a pink Nintendo DS, listens to Gorillas, watched anime in high school and is all about gaming. Maybe thats being a little to specific, buts thats just giving you the idea.

any way I live in the northwest and theres this convention coming up called Emerald City Comic con, if any girls like I just explained exist somewhere in the world, thats is probably the one and only place I'd find them EVER.

So how could I run game in an enviorment like that.
Well, I don't find much difference in how I run game in any venue, because I don't use canned material, or the M3 model, I just have good conversations with them and establish attraction, comfort and lots of kino. This works in basically any SPAM, it's just a matter of finding common interests to talk about, which considering where you are, shouldn't be too hard. Just remember not to talk exclusively about comics and such, you need to demonstrate that you're a cool guy with a life.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:18 pm 
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Can you give me some descriptions of IOIs that the woman will give, and what do I do to show some IOI's? IOD's come after an IOI, and are negs generally right?

I'm a newb, just started learning last night...so I'd appreciate all help provided.
Use the search tool in the top left and also check the Bodylanguage and Attraction sections, as I've seen threads dedicated to nothing but IOIs in both.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:26 pm 
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thanks, and I would appreciate if you would let me know what you think of the content on my thread:

viewtopic.php?p=106968#106968


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:09 am 
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Hey, I was introduced to "Pick-up" about a week ago, before that I had no idea this kind of stuff existed. Anyway, long story short. First time clubbing with a few friends, prepared some material previously (couple of openers and some proof of value magic tricks).

I wouldn't say I'm confident. But, in any other situation I could probably go and talk to a stranger and strike a conversation. Thing is, that club was fucking loud. Every single room had badly remixed Hip-hop and RnB booming. I have a fairly loud voice but I had to literally shout into his ear to be heard.

I had no idea to what to do in that situation. People were dancing, the lights were low, everyone was moving around, so I had this feeling I coundn't break into a set and hold it. I moved to the dance floor later made eye contact with a girl smiled said "Hey" but she just gave me the "Creep." look.

I have a feeling most of the clubs in Melbourne (Australia) are like this. So I wanted to know if I did anything wrong, or did I pick the wrong venue. Any feedback would be great.

Thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: hey Rye Lee
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:11 am 
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I guess I wasn't clear enough with my initial post.

I'm 100% sure that the guy was just a friend --we were very physical with each other most of the time with him close by. She even told me that they were just friends. And also the last sentence ("We met Sat. I called her Mon. Texts happened the next day.") was just a timeline explaining when the previous phone conversation / texts actually took place (content of phone convo / texts is in previous paragraph).

My real question should have been how long should I wait before calling her again since my first call was unanswered and she told me to "email her instead" through a text. I was thinking about freeze her out until Sunday (5 days after our last text) before calling her again. Perhaps I showed too much interest calling her with only a 1 day lag (calling her initially Monday when I met her Sat. night).
Quote:
Quote:
Hey man,

I met this girl Sat night at a bar/lounge. She was there with some dude (friend), but it wasn't long before I isolated her. We spoke for almost 30 minutes alone. I got her number, etc. In the end, the guy friend comes over and says: "you're doing a great job man, but my friend has to take me dancing. We're going across the street." I wasn't really sure what to say to that, but I gave the chick a hug and moved on.

Now, I thought everything went well. There was tons of kino, a lot of IOIs,etc. However, when I called she didn't answer the phone. I left a message: "something funny happened to me, call me back, i gotta tell you," etc. She texted me back instead --- "i'm really busy, looking forward to your story, email me instead." I texted her back, "I'm not really the emailing type, I'll just give you a call some other time." She emailed back: "looking forward to your call, sorry i;'m busy" etc.

We met Sat. I called her Mon. Texts happened the next day.

What does all this mean? Is she into me? How long should I wait to call her? Etc. Thanks.
Well you left out every bit of important information, so I can't give you a real answer.

They went to another place to go dancing, but you got her number, so that's perfectly good. You called and she was busy, so you are texting with her the next day, but you don't say what happened with that, so who knows whether it's good or bad?

Personally, I believe texting is better if you have a solid connection, because there is less chance of her flaking on a phone call, than on a text that she can choose to never reply to, just like when you leave a voicemail, over actually talking to her. I think you need to get it back to phone conversation and set up a day 2. If that happens, then she may be interested, if she flakes, then move on.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:08 am 
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Hey, I was introduced to "Pick-up" about a week ago, before that I had no idea this kind of stuff existed. Anyway, long story short. First time clubbing with a few friends, prepared some material previously (couple of openers and some proof of value magic tricks).

I wouldn't say I'm confident. But, in any other situation I could probably go and talk to a stranger and strike a conversation. Thing is, that club was fucking loud. Every single room had badly remixed Hip-hop and RnB booming. I have a fairly loud voice but I had to literally shout into his ear to be heard.

I had no idea to what to do in that situation. People were dancing, the lights were low, everyone was moving around, so I had this feeling I coundn't break into a set and hold it. I moved to the dance floor later made eye contact with a girl smiled said "Hey" but she just gave me the "Creep." look.

I have a feeling most of the clubs in Melbourne (Australia) are like this. So I wanted to know if I did anything wrong, or did I pick the wrong venue. Any feedback would be great.

Thanks.
The key is to speak from your diaphram and use the air in your lungs, to push out the words. This prevents your throat from becoming raw and you can be heard over almost anything. You also want to use your body language to have them lean in to you and then you can meet them half way and you end up talking right into each other's ears, while you put a hand on her lower back. This is good kino, as well as a way to be heard in any environment.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye


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