Confused by Pickup...Is there Game for a relationship?



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 6:17 pm 
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Ok a little about me.
Im 30.
People say I'm better than average looks. I have done some modelling. Im considered pretty witty/intelligent... I work out a lot. Atheltic build. Got a decent job etc

I've slept with about 40/50 women in my life. Helped alot by knowing the principles of game.
I got into game as I had been friendzoned a bit and do not natuarlly have the archetypal alpha male charestistics -
Im in the bracket of the sensitive artisitic type and so its a more common pitfall for us.

But inner game says I need to be the best version of that rather than change to a steroid fuelled monster.

The other part of being in that bracket of guys is that, I do get anxious a bit around girls i like.
Again a bit of vulnerability in the right way is okay do its about being the best version of that... keeping it in check rather than eradicating altogether.

I also like the single life and have been a bit of a comittment phobe - but recently Its bothered me though that
Ive never really had a relationship in my whole life. I couldve have had a few relationships with girls that are 5/6 out of 10...but who wants that?

So since 28 I've tried to be less picky and accept 7+

Now Ive been rejected a few times by 7+ girls, and its been after we get past the first few dates.

Its knocked my confidence whether its 'me' thats the problem and Im starting to wonder if this personality type can actually succeed with a hot girl.

To recap.... I generally know how to be in bars now. the game has given me a roadmap to successfully attract women but as soon as i get to date 2/3/4 i lost my sense of where I am...
I guess this is where game has fucked me up a little.....
I feel like, at what point do i need to stop being conscious of DHVing to the girl, or negging or proving i can be a leader by slipping in a DHV story and bring out some of the more sensitive characteristics.

Sooner or later you need to let your natural self shine in a Rship.....
(I couldn't imagine being in a 20 yr marriage, still thinking i need to throw in a DHV story for that week to my 58 year old wife.).

Cause of some recent rejections though, I'm worried that when i stop 'gaming' and the rehearsed DHV conversations dry up...they'll see the easy going, sensitivity, occasional anxiety and it not be for them.

I've not been beyond a 4th date in a long time and im not going to let my standards slip just to get there with a 5/10.

I guess im almost thinking:
Do i drop game altogether so that I'm more authentic from day one?
Do i try to be confident in my Beta-Male characteristics?
What do i do to get past this sticking point?

turning myself into a that pumped up alpha male tough guy will never ever be congruent.....and true mastery level of game is a pipe dream.

thanks for any of your help or suggestions. fellas.


Last edited by robjrcchr on Tue Feb 23, 2016 12:35 am, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 7:48 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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Get yourself a single mom. their like adopting puppy's. With a puppy.
Fuck her good, and feed her twice, she'll be just as loyal.

If you can overlook her stuffing those slightly loose, lactose depleted milk jugs, into a Victoria's Secret padded push up wonder bra, and the Jesus whip stretch marks on that otherwise perfect ass, in her thong and mom jeans. She will overlook most any slight flaw you have. (Like Commitment.)

And trust me Bro, they are as plentiful as zombies on the Walking Dead.

If your having a difficult time finding one to call your own, grab the niece & nephew a bucket of quarters, and head to your nearest Chuck E Cheese, any Saturday afternoon. If you have any style and fitness, they'll be on you like a fresh kill.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 8:02 pm 
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The Coach
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It's not in your DNA. You were just raised into a pussy that attractive girls don't want a relationship with.

I have an article I'd share with you called Why You Should Get A Job Selling Cars- A Rites Passage into Manhood. But I can't because of the retarded rules on this forum. It's on my blog however if you'd like to search for it. I think it will help you out.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:38 pm 
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The Coach - thanks - will take a look.

King Among Moron's -
It's good that you can speak so lavishly from personal experience.

However you are a complete retard.
You've basically just called someone out on something they already freely admitted themselves.
And for what gain? To make yourself look better?

I won't be reading through your 4000 posts.

Out sarging? I highly doubt it.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 7:01 am 
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Quote:
The Coach - thanks - will take a look.

King Among Moron's -
It's good that you can speak so lavishly from personal experience.

However you are a complete retard.
You've basically just called someone out on something they already freely admitted themselves.
And for what gain? To make yourself look better?

I won't be reading through your 4000 posts.

Out sarging? I highly doubt it.
Don't listen to him at all mate, there's a lot of idiots on here who post obvious bullshit to validate themselves and I don't buy half of it, I've seen people say they get approached by 50 10/10 a night when they go out and it's obviously just a load of shit.

My advice to you would be read Models by mark Manson, it's a great book that covers self development, vulnerability and pua.

If you're getting to the stage of a few date's then just start being genuine, obviously still excite the girl with your techniques but start opening up more and being vulnerable so you start to build a connection then seal the deal.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:20 am 
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Some of you guys need to work on your common sense / ability to distinguish humor from insult.

Regardless, OP, your problem is that you've molded yourself into a poser. You need to run tactics in order to attract women, but these tactics don't "define" who you are. And who you are is someone else, which inevitably shines through the more she gets to know you. You can't keep up the act forever.
If you have to, quote on quote, "demonstrate higher value", simply the implication of having to pro-actively demonstrate it means you do not actually have it.

A true high value male doesn't have to demonstrate. Just like a true king doesn't have to yell "I AM KING" in order to be taken seriously. Being high value roots from your accumulated efforts, successes and achievements across all the major areas of your life. Confidence is something you take from within yourself.

My point being, if you truly want to be successful you need to invest in yourself to the point you become attractive, instead of investing in ways of appearing attractive.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 2:52 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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Quote:
The Coach - thanks - will take a look.

King Among Moron's -
It's good that you can speak so lavishly from personal experience.

However you are a complete retard.
You've basically just called someone out on something they already freely admitted themselves.
And for what gain? To make yourself look better?

I won't be reading through your 4000 posts.

Out sarging? I highly doubt it.
Here. You dropped this. It's your sense of humor.

You must have lost it when you picked up that giant bag of ego.

Relax Bro. No hate.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 2:06 am 
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Posts: 7
KAM - i'll take that as your apology then. No hate.

If your gonna go down the humour route id try and make at least some of it productive/practical in the future.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:58 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:34 pm
Posts: 3993
Quote:
Some of you guys need to work on your common sense / ability to distinguish humor from insult.

Regardless, OP, your problem is that you've molded yourself into a poser. You need to run tactics in order to attract women, but these tactics don't "define" who you are. And who you are is someone else, which inevitably shines through the more she gets to know you. You can't keep up the act forever.
If you have to, quote on quote, "demonstrate higher value", simply the implication of having to pro-actively demonstrate it means you do not actually have it.

A true high value male doesn't have to demonstrate. Just like a true king doesn't have to yell "I AM KING" in order to be taken seriously. Being high value roots from your accumulated efforts, successes and achievements across all the major areas of your life. Confidence is something you take from within yourself.

My point being, if you truly want to be successful you need to invest in yourself to the point you become attractive, instead of investing in ways of appearing attractive.
It really could all be summed-up with this one statement.

And I gather this isn't something most of the guys on this board are wiling to give much credence to. Why? Because it takes work, and it can be challenging to even know where to begin especially if you've spent your entire life looking outside yourself for answers.

PUA sews a lot of discontent because it's ego based. I've talked about this before in previous threads, nothing new here. Being ego-based it provides guys the solution to attracting women by applying a bandaid over some maladaptive belief, self-limiting belief systems. The bandaid is to act like someone you're not in hopes to seek the adulation and love of women. It's an extremely exhausting charade to keep up, in fact its impossible.

The solution is to work on yourself FOR yourself, and as a byproduct u'll attract others. If you're doing what makes you joyful, that energy will vibrate from your very essence. There won't be any need to sell yourself (or sell yourself short) and opportunities would almost seemingly come your way with little to no effort. That is what I call abundance.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 2:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:48 pm
Posts: 3271
Location: Paradise Found
Quote:
Quote:
Some of you guys need to work on your common sense / ability to distinguish humor from insult.

Regardless, OP, your problem is that you've molded yourself into a poser. You need to run tactics in order to attract women, but these tactics don't "define" who you are. And who you are is someone else, which inevitably shines through the more she gets to know you. You can't keep up the act forever.
If you have to, quote on quote, "demonstrate higher value", simply the implication of having to pro-actively demonstrate it means you do not actually have it.

A true high value male doesn't have to demonstrate. Just like a true king doesn't have to yell "I AM KING" in order to be taken seriously. Being high value roots from your accumulated efforts, successes and achievements across all the major areas of your life. Confidence is something you take from within yourself.

My point being, if you truly want to be successful you need to invest in yourself to the point you become attractive, instead of investing in ways of appearing attractive.
It really could all be summed-up with this one statement.

And I gather this isn't something most of the guys on this board are wiling to give much credence to. Why? Because it takes work, and it can be challenging to even know where to begin especially if you've spent your entire life looking outside yourself for answers.

PUA sews a lot of discontent because it's ego based. I've talked about this before in previous threads, nothing new here. Being ego-based it provides guys the solution to attracting women by applying a bandaid over some maladaptive belief, self-limiting belief systems. The bandaid is to act like someone you're not in hopes to seek the adulation and love of women. It's an extremely exhausting charade to keep up, in fact its impossible.

The solution is to work on yourself FOR yourself, and as a byproduct u'll attract others. If you're doing what makes you joyful, that energy will vibrate from your very essence. There won't be any need to sell yourself (or sell yourself short) and opportunities would almost seemingly come your way with little to no effort. That is what I call abundance.

This is just mental masturbation.

The mere fact that the OP has invested his time in this forum to get good at something (attracting women for relationships) is a blatantly obvious testament that he's working for himself and his own happiness. These vague advices are nothing but put downs so you can look good while the OP would look bad.

People who want to be psychologists go to the university to learn how to become psychologists. People who want to have a great body eat right and workout in the gym to have a great body. People like the OP signed up in this forum to get good at attracting women for relationships and all you can say, in essence, is "Be yourself" without providing details on how?

@OP

The strategy for attracting women for long term relationships is different. You'll have to sarge a different age range; the age range where women want to settle down. Moreover, if you're too masculine, women are likely to perceive you as a cheater and thus, good only for short term flings.

You'll have to highlight some reliability and stability. How? Propinquity. Learn it.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 3:19 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:35 pm
Posts: 9
If you're looking for a long term relationship it's best to stay away from the scripted lines and stories. You have to be real. You can only fake it for so long haha


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 4:13 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:34 pm
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Some of you guys need to work on your common sense / ability to distinguish humor from insult.

Regardless, OP, your problem is that you've molded yourself into a poser. You need to run tactics in order to attract women, but these tactics don't "define" who you are. And who you are is someone else, which inevitably shines through the more she gets to know you. You can't keep up the act forever.
If you have to, quote on quote, "demonstrate higher value", simply the implication of having to pro-actively demonstrate it means you do not actually have it.

A true high value male doesn't have to demonstrate. Just like a true king doesn't have to yell "I AM KING" in order to be taken seriously. Being high value roots from your accumulated efforts, successes and achievements across all the major areas of your life. Confidence is something you take from within yourself.

My point being, if you truly want to be successful you need to invest in yourself to the point you become attractive, instead of investing in ways of appearing attractive.
It really could all be summed-up with this one statement.

And I gather this isn't something most of the guys on this board are wiling to give much credence to. Why? Because it takes work, and it can be challenging to even know where to begin especially if you've spent your entire life looking outside yourself for answers.

PUA sews a lot of discontent because it's ego based. I've talked about this before in previous threads, nothing new here. Being ego-based it provides guys the solution to attracting women by applying a bandaid over some maladaptive belief, self-limiting belief systems. The bandaid is to act like someone you're not in hopes to seek the adulation and love of women. It's an extremely exhausting charade to keep up, in fact its impossible.

The solution is to work on yourself FOR yourself, and as a byproduct u'll attract others. If you're doing what makes you joyful, that energy will vibrate from your very essence. There won't be any need to sell yourself (or sell yourself short) and opportunities would almost seemingly come your way with little to no effort. That is what I call abundance.

This is just mental masturbation.

The mere fact that the OP has invested his time in this forum to get good at something (attracting women for relationships) is a blatantly obvious testament that he's working for himself and his own happiness. These vague advices are nothing but put downs so you can look good while the OP would look bad.

People who want to be psychologists go to the university to learn how to become psychologists. People who want to have a great body eat right and workout in the gym to have a great body. People like the OP signed up in this forum to get good at attracting women for relationships and all you can say, in essence, is "Be yourself" without providing details on how?

@OP

The strategy for attracting women for long term relationships is different. You'll have to sarge a different age range; the age range where women want to settle down. Moreover, if you're too masculine, women are likely to perceive you as a cheater and thus, good only for short term flings.

You'll have to highlight some reliability and stability. How? Propinquity. Learn it.
Far from it. The only masturbation going on here is by the guys relying upon tactics, techniques, and strategies instead of doing any meaningful work on themselves.

There is nothing analogous with pickup and one's going to school to obtain a degree as both being ways of bettering one's self. While certainly in the later situation that is the case. But in the former (pickup) that'd be akin to buying a degree at the University of Phoenix and then trying to convince people you've somehow earned it.


You're off the mark here.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2016 11:50 pm 
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High Priest of Debauchery
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Quote:
The only masturbation going on here is by the guys relying upon tactics, techniques, and strategies instead of doing any meaningful work on themselves.
In any professional undertaking or career, people learn tactics, techniques and strategies. You want to learn medicine? You'll learn techniques and strategies. You want to learn engineering? You'll learn techniques and strategies. You want to workout in the gym? You'll learn tactics, techniques and strategies. It's just a matter of knowing which tactics, techniques or strategies work best under certain conditions or which ones do NOT work.

Civilizations are built on tactics, techniques and strategies from farming to engineering, and from peace to war.

Enough of the bullshit and mental masturbation already. Putting newbies down so you can look good and giving vague advices are NOT productive at all.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 2:22 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
The only masturbation going on here is by the guys relying upon tactics, techniques, and strategies instead of doing any meaningful work on themselves.
In any professional undertaking or career, people learn tactics, techniques and strategies. You want to learn medicine? You'll learn techniques and strategies. You want to learn engineering? You'll learn techniques and strategies. You want to workout in the gym? You'll learn tactics, techniques and strategies. It's just a matter of knowing which tactics, techniques or strategies work best under certain conditions or which ones do NOT work.

Civilizations are built on tactics, techniques and strategies from farming to engineering, and from peace to war.

Enough of the bullshit and mental masturbation already. Putting newbies down so you can look good and giving vague advices are NOT productive at all.

This isn't accurate. Many of the tactics, strategies, and techniques fall by the wayside in the real world if they're not put to use. What changes, provided the program has done its job, is the underlying shift in paradigm of thought. Anyone can apply strategies and techniques, even primates have demonstrated this repeatedly. The fundamental difference is the shift in underlying consciousness that sets a true 'professional' apart from somebody who perform as you've stated.

I haven't put down anyone, but I can sense you're angry. Perhaps you feel that I somehow think i am superior to the rest of you, I don't know, merely speculation.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 4:25 am 
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High Priest of Debauchery
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:48 pm
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Quote:
This isn't accurate. Many of the tactics, strategies, and techniques fall by the wayside in the real world if they're not put to use. What changes, provided the program has done its job, is the underlying shift in paradigm of thought. Anyone can apply strategies and techniques, even primates have demonstrated this repeatedly. The fundamental difference is the shift in underlying consciousness that sets a true 'professional' apart from somebody who perform as you've stated.

I haven't put down anyone, but I can sense you're angry. Perhaps you feel that I somehow think i am superior to the rest of you, I don't know, merely speculation.
So now you're reading a crystal ball in regards to my emotion.

And where do you propose to shift the OP's current set of tactics, techniques and strategies? What alternative paradigm are you proposing in very clear terms?

I'll answer that for you. None.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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