| 1st, clean up your place, get all the shit freckles out of the toilet, toss the Jimmy John’s and Diet Pepsi trash out. Stock up on toilet paper, I think they must sit in there and make paper hats with it or some shit. Keep on hand- Bottle of decent white wine, two liquor choices, mixer, cheese and crackers, cutting board, knife. Lube and condoms. If you don’t have a place – Grow the fuck up.
You need a place of isolation, figure that out ahead of time.
The perfect date involves good food, drinks, fun activities, and a beautiful backdrop. The best ones are free, or next to it.
Personally, I like to set up 2-3 different venues as a comfort building maneuver. A lot of women will steadfastly not sleep with you unless they have been on two or three dates with you. Insuring you’re not a serial rapist, or general fucktard that would make her remorseful for giving up the prize early on. So changing venue make things seem as though you are on a brand new date.
Wine tasting, that’s a good default for me, as live in a winery popular area.
Wineries and bars across the world offer full wine tours and tastings, covering all the essentials of the perfect date, from the food and drink to the sexy landscape and memorable times.
Wineries that provide tours of the facilities are cool, they will usually offer a variety of activities for you and your date. A typical visit will include a tour of the vineyard and winemaking facilities, followed by samplings in the winery’s tasting room. FOR FREE.
If the wine tasting is free of charge, it is usually good form to purchase a bottle or two at the end you cheap fuck, you two can pick it out ’together’. For couch time later.
Then on the way to the watering hole closest to your pound palace, stroll the down town district, while that wine buzz is still tickling her brain, and her naughty parts.
Expound a little on your infinite wisdom of the local history, Or, or even listen to her version and shut the fuck up for a change.
This may be the moment to take her dainty digits in your own meat mitt there slick, giving her the warm and fuzziness feeling all deep inside.
Window shop a little, while pretending to care about her auntie with a bitter case of shingles, and her cat fluffy. Take her into a tobacco shop, or candle shop, scents go a long way in remembering the good times she is having with you,
Remember that CLOSE watering hole I mentioned earlier? Well you should, it’s kinda important.
You want it to be close because the next stop is your shit hole. Dimly lit quiet digs is best. But even if it’s a chain, I prefer to sit at the bar and completely avoid awkward booths and tables. For added comfort I like to position her next to an open seat/stool, unless there would be a hotter girl in the seat next to you, in that case she gets THAT one.
Order some yummy apps. (Cheap after 8 most places.) to share, let Cinderella pick one. Get some cocktails or local brews to bide the appetizer wait. After she’s cramped 8 cheese in her face, order a shot so you can ‘cheer’ the day events! Thus lowering her inhabitations a bit further (Along with her neckline). Not too much though Romeo she has been drinking all day, you don’t want to spoil things holding her hair out of the puke all over your tan velour sectional later.
Now it’s finally time to bounce to your place, your one chance to slip your wiener in her if you don’t fuck it up.
She should stop by just for a few, to ‘sober up’, and too see that Star Wars collection you’ve been putting together since you were 12.
Now that you’re alone, at your shit hole, make both of you a drink, without asking (the wine remember?). Offer up some Netflix. (Best) Or put on some swagger tunes. Offer to refill her drink, or help you with those cheese and crackers I told you to pick up earlier dummy. Extend you hand to hers palm up, when she takes it, lift her hand as she rises, kiss her, then lead her into the kitchen.
If she follows, she’s yours. Do I need to explain EVERYTHING?
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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.
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CHAT
