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Over the last two weeks I've lost three girls that I've been seeing.
Girl A: finally moved across the country, not much I can change about my actions there.
Girl B: I've been seeing her for several months, sleeping with her a few times a month. I always got the sense she wanted to make me her boyfriend, and she finally pushed a bit harder for it. We had "the talk" and she pushed for being exclusive, and I refrained. I had been fucking other girls occasionally, and she knew this. Anyway, I think she has walked. I don't feel like this is a huge loss.
Girl C: Met her about a month ago at a social gathering. She's three years older than me. She was a friend of someone I work with. She is extremely attractive. I developed a lot of social proof around her when I met her, hit it off with her friends really well, but she would not sleep with me the first night, despite my persistence. She was all over me that night, unbuttoning my shirt, rubbing her bra over my pants, etc. yet everytime I made a move for her breast or pussy I got brushed off. I even had her pinned against the wall making out, and pinned against the floor, being quite dominant for me, and she still wouldn't let me advance. She insisted on a day 2. So I agreed with it, fully expecting that to never happen. Day 2 comes and I take her to a couple places, and take her back to my place, I get strong make out action with her and am being aggressive, yet I still can't get any further forward. I take her back home fully confident that I'm not going to get another shot. I get a strong kiss from her, and she implies about meeting again. I have my doubts, but I called her up anyway about a week and a half later, and she is down to meet again. I'm thinking that since this is the third time, I will surely get laid. Since it was a holiday, we cooked dinner and had wine at my place. It was fun, I started kissing her, but as soon as I started to escalate I continually got denied. I tried push pull. I tried everything that usually gets me laid. I did this for about two 4 hours, and nothing gave. I can't explain this. She's a bit more of a dominant masculine personality for a girl- so maybe she is a hard case. I drove her back home, feeling mentally defeated, and did not get a kiss goodbye from her- I didn't even care anymore. I think I had rejected her as much as she rejected me on that car ride to her place.
I've been lower, but I feel pretty defeated after losing these girls in successive fashion. All I can do at this point is learn from my mistakes the best I can, and accept what I can't change. I am most concerned with my lack of ability to close with Girl C. I felt like I went backwards each time I spent with her- yet she went out with me three times. I think she wanted me for an exclusive relationship, and I'm not about that yet. I want to get better.
Has anyone had this experience similar to Girl C? Are some girls just a tough to crack for LMR given their circumstances and experiences?
How can I overcome last minute resistance like Girl C presented? I have slept with well into double digits in women, and I have never had it happen with the same girl three separate nights.
When I escalate in a rougher fashion, how rough is too rough for pinning girls? I think she may have liked it more when I started being aggressive from the beginning. Girl C still resisted though, but I got a better reaction after the fact. I'm not typically that aggressive in my escalations, but perhaps I need to add that to my game.
I'm currently in a relationship (gasp) with a girl who acted very similar to girl C. She's beautiful (at least 3 of my female friends have commented on how pretty/beautiful she is) but had recently come out of an LTR AND has relatively strong Christian values (although every girl in my country is).
Anyway date one...things went well. So for date 2, I invited her back to mine. Lots of kissing, making out. I pull off the top, get a bit of resistance, but continue to plow. Take of the bra, more resistance, but continue to plow. Then I go for the pants, and it's a no go. Like, tightly holding onto the pants, and ensuring I can't pull them off. So I let it slide. We cuddle, spoon, and chill.
I invite her somewhere else for date 3 .
Date 4, back to mine. She obviously KNOWS what the fuck is up, so I don't worry. I do the same as previous - but this time I'm more forceful. Literally tug of war using a good portion (I'm stronger of course) of my strength to pull off the pants. She STILL holds on to it. Cuddle, spoon, and chill again
I consult a couple people. They tell me to give her a bit more time, especially since she's coming out of a relationship. I'm tempted to give this one up.
Date 5 - Back to mine. Tug of war again. But after, I tell her about the importance of sex - it's natural, fun. And I'm not having a relationship without one, as I don't think there should be preconditions.
Date 6 - She's on her period, but tells me that she wants me. In every way.
*oooooh*
Date 7 - Period's over. She comes back to mine. A bit of resistance in taking off the pants, but I can tell it's token. We do the nasty. Twice.
So...let her know the deal. She came back to yours at least 3 times - so she's obviously sexually interested. Tell her about the importance of sex, how you can live without it BUT you enjoy it and want to share in that experience. Judge her reaction, and most likely the next time it will be on like donkey kong.