Hi guys! Need some advice here


So, I work at a mid-sized company and there is a girl that works at a team/room next to mine and we interact a lot regarding work issues.

We exchange lots of emails everyday and during lunch and breaks at work we always spend time together and talk a lot.

I'm always making jokes and I make her laugh very easily. At company leisure events she always wants to sit next to me and be part of my team.

Some people at work noticed that we are always together and even think that maybe we are more than friends.

This only happens at work. After work we dont see each other, we have our parallel lifes and we only exchange text messages


Now what happened:


A while ago I started using kino a lot, touching her face, arms and so on and I told her that "shes great and i would like to know her better"

she answered saying that we should start to interact more with other people at work and we didnt need to be always near each other.

Just after this, she went 1 week on vacation to a "great friend" new beach home that he just bought 200 miles away from our city.

She went there by herself, alone, so they spent 1 week just the two. No more people where there with them. (what kind of girl spends 1 week on vacation with only a "friend" without fucking him? I guess that does not exist)

After that, I felt very dumb and started moving away from this girl during 2 or 3 weeks.

After that she started searching me a lot and we started talking again.. I started having hope again and now history repeats.

I noticed that nowadays she is always receving messages and texting someone with her cellphone.

Some days ago, she answered a phone call and start talking softly, very quiet, and ended that call with "i also like you very much..kiss on the mouth"


So now I am feeling very stupid again. I guess this girl just wants to be my friend, but I dont want to be at the friendzone

I feel that she is somehow toxic to me, because I see her everyday and I feel attracted to her. The more we get close the more then I suffer at the end.




What should I do? should I start spending time with other people at work and just cut her off? It is starting to get painful being next to her.

What excuses should I give her when she notices that I am moving away and dont want to be near her anymore?

You answered your own question.

You have one-itus my man.

The solution is to forget about the people at work and go out and hit the field. A.k.a. meet women.

Don't pay any mind to how she will react to this, you don't answer to her personally. She will be the last thing on your mind the second you get with one of the new girls you meet.

Why would you say that to a girl you already know and see everyday?
Just invite her for a night out. There's no need for this unnecessary pressure.
Yes, obviously.
Just tell her that you grew apart? or be honest. Who cares?

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Well, to be honest when I said that to her, my intention was that she answered something like "yes, I would like to know you better too", and then I would instantly invite her to do something fun outside work. Unfortunately that didn't happen because she kinda freaked out. If I had invite her for a night out without saying this bullshit would that be a lot more alpha male thing?

I just don't understand why then she wants to stay next to me all the time during work. Some guys at work think that I am a big champion for "getting her", but the true fact is that nothing special has happened and I feel like a stupid AFC that is getting her horny during the day and then another guy fucks her during the night.

This has nothing to do with alpha. It has to do with you being needy. She's probably your only option and if I can pick up on that from a forum post, imagine how easy it was for her. "Telling her how you feel", which is what you basically did, not only invites her in a premature form of commitment, but also shows a lot of over-investment from your side, in a girl you have no form of intimate relationship with.

Who cares why? Maybe she took a liking to you. But just because a woman might find you attractive doesn't mean they wanna commit to "getting to know you better" and have you spew all kinds of feelings over them, like literally every other guy out there, when she's done nothing to earn them.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

The exact moment in time you became her 'work orbiter', orbiters. They're non-sexual, completely platonic guys that girls can use and abuse for their own profit.

Gofers with ass on the end of the unreachable string.

To fetch coffee, pencils, listen to crap nobody else will.

With this understanding, and still working together, create an aura of mutual un-attraction, you are free to do gross things, like burp and fart and talk with your mouth filled to the brim. In fact, you can, talk about pooping, burping and farting while talking with your mouth filled to the brim.

She's a fail, pursue other women.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Threads about "this girl at work" fucking hurt my eyes. I don't know why, they just do. Half of the time, the girl blatantly isn't interested.

You need to be focusing on other women. That's the sticking point of about 90% of the new guys on this forum "this one girl" is all they can see.

You should be focusing on at least 5 at all times, at the very least. Also, you should be seeing it as those 5 women chasing you, not the other way around.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Bro..

First things first, please don't ever, ever write doubled spaced like that on the forums ever again. That was annoying as hell to read. Perhaps its just me.

Anyway, you can't sit there playing footsies at work for months without ever escalating and making a move and at the same time expect to be anything more than friends. You already boxed yourself in at work as the guy she just talks to at work, I don't see how you expected this to go any further than that when you weren't actively doing anything to make it go further than that.

Feel me?

You're chasing the wind at this point and keep wondering why you keep coming up short. This is where you grow up and acknowledge that you didn't mean up and make a move and so she landed with someone who did. You can still be cool with her, but stop playing the whole " I like you, and if you don't like me too, I hate you" with people you have to work with. Keep it cool .I'm sure theres another chick at the job you can get with. This would likely make her interested in you anyway.

And you don't need any excuse. If you aren't mature enough to be around her without getting you panties in a bunch just keep it honest " Hey I thought this was on the road to something more. I didn't work out that way, so how about we just do our own thing for a lil bit. We'll see what happens in the future."

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