Feeeels



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 Post subject: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:09 am 
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I like a girl a lot.

Because of her parents relationship, she doesn't like relationships.

We have had sex and have hung out a lot. I keep the facade up that i'm not looking for a relationship because i don't want to loose her.

I am starting to get really emotionally connected to this girl.


Kind of a double sided question here.
-What can i do to stop being so emotional about her where her actions influence how i feel.
-How could i turn this into a relationship?

3. Or should i just move on?

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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:35 am 
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Quote:
because i don't want to loose her.
With this mind-set you are likely to lose her.
Quote:
-What can i do to stop being so emotional about her where her actions influence how i feel.
See another girl on the side or get another hobby. She can't be your whole world. The most important thing you could do is be unattached to the outcome=having her as your gf.
Quote:
-How could i turn this into a relationship?
Give her space and allow her to make that decision. Allow her to chase you. What would it be that you would have to do that would allow her to ask you to be the bf? This is an important answer but can only be accomplished congruently if you find the way to be your inner man at a deep level. You are stronger than you think and you don't NEED her, but you want her and that is ok.
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3. Or should i just move on?
You won't. From your post you have a good case of oneitis. See another girl while still seeing this one!

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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 3:17 pm 
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Quote:
I like a girl a lot.

Because of her parents relationship, she doesn't like relationships.

We have had sex and have hung out a lot. I keep the facade up that i'm not looking for a relationship because i don't want to loose her.

I am starting to get really emotionally connected to this girl.


Kind of a double sided question here.
-What can i do to stop being so emotional about her where her actions influence how i feel.
-How could i turn this into a relationship?

3. Or should i just move on?
You can't turn it into a relationship. You either have the balls to state your needs, or hide behind facades and go with it. You've already set the point of this relationship by complying.

Decided if having a fuck buddy in her is something you can live with. If not, move on.
And next time don't try using stealth tactics as a means of obtaining what you want. That's needy to the core, you get that don't you?

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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 3:58 pm 
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You either have the balls to state your needs, or hide behind facades and go with it.
Do this with your actions not your words.
Quote:
You can't turn it into a relationship.
Maybe.
Quote:
And next time don't try using stealth tactics as a means of obtaining what you want.
Yes. Be about what you want and no bullshit!

_________________
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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:05 pm 
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Moderator: read the rules. We do not tolerate flaming here.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:37 pm 
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There is a clash of needs before sex occurred.

You are not on it. You just got laid and have halted all progress for this one girl before you have earned to be good with women.

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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 11:39 pm 
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Question number one: Why do you want a relationship? What is it that you'll gain from being in a relationship with her that you can not gain without one? Understanding why you want something is key.

She'll want one when you truly stop wanting one. I never understood why guys would just volunteer to give away their freedom. Not to mention, you're only 18 and just got into the game. Why turn it all in this soon? Are you sure its worth it? What does she possess so special than you just want to turn yourself over? And do other girls not possess this same thing?

You can get over feelings by siting with yourself and questioning why you feel what you do. You need time for self reflection.

Understand also that you may not actually love her. You're just afflicted by the amounts of dopamine and oxytocin your body secrets while in her presence. When she touches you, during sex etc. Testosterone nullifies oxytocin. Over ejaculation/low semi count reduces testosterone. You can begin breaking the bond with science. In the mean time though, just start asking yourself why?

A girl wants to work for your freedom; she doesn't want you so freely trying to give it away.

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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 4:54 am 
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Date and fuck other girls.

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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:59 am 
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Quote:
Question number one: Why do you want a relationship? What is it that you'll gain from being in a relationship with her that you can not gain without one? Understanding why you want something is key.

She'll want one when you truly stop wanting one. I never understood why guys would just volunteer to give away their freedom. Not to mention, you're only 18 and just got into the game. Why turn it all in this soon? Are you sure its worth it? What does she possess so special than you just want to turn yourself over? And do other girls not possess this same thing?

You can get over feelings by siting with yourself and questioning why you feel what you do. You need time for self reflection.

Understand also that you may not actually love her. You're just afflicted by the amounts of dopamine and oxytocin your body secrets while in her presence. When she touches you, during sex etc. Testosterone nullifies oxytocin. Over ejaculation/low semi count reduces testosterone. You can begin breaking the bond with science. In the mean time though, just start asking yourself why?

A girl wants to work for your freedom; she doesn't want you so freely trying to give it away.
That was a perfect answer, thank you

_________________
"There is no failure. Only feedback." ~Robert Allen

My most helpful mentors:
Much thanks too;
Eddie Fews
PEBBLE
R.C.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeeels
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
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Location: Chicago, IL
Do everything you possibly can to push her away. You've got to make her want it more than you.


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