Ok this is not really a question yet, just thought I would like to share this story in progress. So far I have met 5 girls on tinder in the last one year and had a short relationship with one. A couple of days ago I matched with this girl. She has only a landscape picture and her description is saying that people usually describe her good looking and she is looking for someone who will not value only that. I started the conversation, she guessed where I am from quite fast by the description on my profile and we started playing to try to guess her country. It was quite hard but finally guessed it (Slavic country) with her clues and playful conversation.

Told her she would make a fun buddy to hang out with and that we should meet sometime and asked for the phone number which she was happy to give and continue from there. At that point I thought to do something really fun and exciting: I asked her to hide her profile picture from me on SPAM until we meet. She told me I am crazy

She is nothing like anyone I have talked before in Tinder in the way we are so much similar. We are both same age 29 and as we continued the conversation found so much in common, studied same field in engineering, geeky humour, very talkative blah blah, analytical thinking, likes to sing but shy, likes word games and puzzles etc. At some point she asked me why I don't want to see how she looks like, because I probably think for engineering women look like shit. Later guessed her real name by rearranging the letters of her tinder nickname and continued playful conversation the next day.

She is really straightforward and open like a book revealing too many details about her and her family and a couple of mentions that she is hot. I have asked what she is up to the next few days, apparently we sometimes visit the same outdoors bar and she said she will come up to me and say hi and that she is pretty sure she will meet me. Although it sounds like a scene from a movie I better set up a date instead of romantically waiting for things to happen. Her mom is in town for a visit so I guess it will take some more days to meet. I ll continue the conversations playful till we meet but I will not go overboard. So far she is talking much more than me.

I should keep my expectations down to earth and see where it goes. Have you guys ever met someone who you thought was really similar to you? Would be really disappointed if I am not physically attracted to her but I have a good feel about this. I 'll be updating this post.

She's probably fat.

Kidding, but I am curious whether or not she's attractive.

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In my experience with dealing with girls that have limited pictures and/or unclear pictures or not picture at all, they haven't been attractive. They just have a unrealistic perception of themselves.

I would think "This girl must be a 10 and she's not displaying a full picture because she wants a guy to get to know her for who she is first", but I was naive and delusional. They never turned out to be all that attractive. Not saying this is the case for you, I just haven't experienced it. I would think you would want to know so that you could avoid wasting any further time on someone you potentially would not be interested in. No?

You're slipping into a fantasy, and fantasies have their ways of altering our perception. They cause us to set expectations that reality couldn't possibly live up to.

So my advice to you would be to drop your expectations all the way to the ground (if you can manage this) and/or meet up with her sooner than later to preserve your time and become aware of exactly what you're investing in. Women aren't great judges of their own looks, they aren't even grading themselves with the same eye we're grading them. Its masculine point of view vs Feminine point of view. Ask a girl to show you one of her attractive friends and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Now I also don't understand how that other post has any relevance now that you've found yourself in this situation? You're still tripping over that girl? Even though you've found your perfect complete mirror image romantic hollywood movie match?

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I agree with Eddie Fews especially after reading this post just now

Let that other girl go and move on. You don't want your ex fucking this whole thing up or any other kinda thing.

her lac Paradoxically the previous girl I was dating that was talking about the other post had only one picture which was not very clear, but turned out to be a 7.5-8.

However what you say makes perfect sense. A 10 girl knows she is a 10 and she knows her worth and wants people to appreciate her beauty. Wouldn't like a potential quality man to disregard her because of no picture. She knows it is her best selling point and she has so many filters to apply for selection of partner: Looks (tinder scenario), behavior and social value, congruence etc. Someone might pass stage 1 but then stumbles on next stage: booom aaaaand he's gone!
Yeah totally agree, wise words my friend. Let's work some percentages just for fun:

10: 0.1%: She doesn't talk like a 10 and wouldn't go to engineering school. Also look at the above points about 10s. Even if she was a 10 earlier, now at the age of 29, she probably lost 0.5 point by now. lol
9: 2%. Same points apply as above.
8: 23%: There is a chance based on the hints of the conversation we had.
7: 35% More likely than 8 and good enough for LTR.
6: 20% Borderline of dating based on matching interests and see where it goes and if the attraction will grow. Sometimes attraction does grow with time. Disappointed at her lack of judging of her own looks.
5: 15% This is the point where you would be considering to friendzone the girl just because she is cool to have conversations with.
4: 3% This a zone where trespassing is punished.
3: 2% No comment.
Yeah I am still not over that girl yet apparently. Need to fall in love again to forget someone.. That's how is works for me. I am excited about potentially finding someone who matches really well and surprisingly had been thinking about it happening in the last one week or so. But that will show with time.

On another note I am still in very regular contact with a previous ex who lives in a nearby country. She has a long distance boyfriend, knew about my recent relationship and we are sometimes sexting from time to time with some spices of threesome fantasy. I believe will continue to do so and hook up when we meet. If this ever gets discovered by a future girlfriend it will destroy any potential thing faster than a Hiroshima atomic bomb. I don't know why I am saying this here but seems intriguing sharing inappropriate details.

Update: Thursday there was some texting conversation joking and I mentioned that I got sick, taking medicine etc. so no going out for me in the weekend and that she better stay away for me for the time being. She replied laughing saying she will go out for a walk with mom (who is in the country for visit) and I asked where she is taking her, she replied where they are going with a smile.

I didn't reply, texted back today morning after 2.5 days, saying Morning and asking how was the weekend with mamma. She replied it was great and she asked me if I feel better. There was some discussion about smoking and that at a period when she barely smokes she gets nervous, so the topic brought it that she is a regular smoker (like addicted), whereas I am occasionally a social smoker once in a while. Side note, it is a bummer for me for the girl to be a heavy smoker, having experienced kissing heavy smokers in the past. I am not one who expects to make people change to adapt to my ways nor does it work for a healthy relationship.

Anyway, I brought up smoking shisha and adding alcohol inside saying that you get dizzy, like getting high for few seconds.

Me: "ever tried shisha with some alcohol inside?"
her: No, what would I inhale alcohol?!;)
ME " You get dizzy. like high for few seconds "
Tried this when I was at uni.
Are you free to meet towards the end of the week
Her " I never get high"

That is the end of discussion till now. I realize that my request for meeting up was out of place, following up other statements I wrote.

1) Either should not text till she texts me back, since I have made obvious making the step forward and asking to meet, to which I did not get any reply. How would you follow this up if you don't get any text in the 2-3 days?

Or:
2) Continuing the conversation tomorrow and the next days casually, keeping it playful without mentioning anything about meeting up, till the end of the week saying I 'll be at that place, it would be cool to join me.

You could/should of replied right then man..And just challenged a bit. " I asked a question "

The comment was definitely out of place and when is "The end of the week" - I wouldn't even know what that means.. Why not.. "When are you free ? " - When theres rapport, simple things like this doesn't matter.

And also consider that the whole "no picture" thing could make her nervous about meeting up. The pressure is on her to actually have something going.

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Thanks man, you are the voice of clarity. After I read your post it made think about how small things like that don't matter, so I continued the convo playfully. I believe my text game is the area I am the strongest since I have no time pressure, can speak my mind and come up with clever, witty stuff using appropriate emoticons for a colourful conversation.

Me: I asked a question without putting the question mark :p
So when will you be free from your daughter duties?
Her: hahaha
I don't know I can't tell in front"
Me: I see. It's part of your plan to remain elusive and mysterious (theatre mask emoticon)
And then you suddenly reveal out of the shadows and scaring me (devil emoticon)
her "hahaha you are clever"
Me: Bruce is that you?? The dark knight lol
Her: Bruce?
Me: Bruce Wayne. SPAM The dark knight, You are not a comics fan?
Her: hahah I thought of another bruce:
Me: PICTURE: (Bruce willis smiling hilariously)
her: Not that Burce also
Me: or maybe
ME: PICTURE (Bruce Lee on fighting stance)
her: Nooo!
ME: Picture (Bruce Springsteen screaming his lungs out)
Her: No!
ME: hahaha btw bruce Springsteen is awesome. your turn
Her: Picture of bruce dickinson.
etc. etc..

The conversation is going on but it is about time to finally meet. You are absolutely right that the pressure is on her because there is rapport and I don't know how she looks like. She will want to look her best to make sure I like her physically too. I ll ask again tomorrow about meeting on a specific day. Once this is setup I ll drop a joke something in the lines of " If I see a 150kg, motorbike rider with leather jacket and beard, approaching me with a smile I will start getting worried! "

Oh well.. Didn't meet yet. From what I got in general this girl was not really keen to meet people, as she has her mother staying with her at the apartment. However there was a point that “attraction” peaked and she wanted to meet me and then it diminished. I have lately being occupied with other things, but I would like to write a detailed summary with timeline to see where I made mistakes and if you could make an evaluation:

31 May: I had asked her for meeting up on a weekday first day of the month, she didn't reply and then started joking about it and having some funny good and back conversation and ended it with " let me know when you want to meet. Ciao" She: "You said it right mister. goodnight"

03 Jun: She sends me a pic showing her legs while laying down on the balcony "do you feel what I feel, see what I feel" and I replied with Adele's skyfall lyrics
Me: "Put your hand in my hand and we 'll stand..'
Her: “We‘re so romantic today” what’s up.
Etc.. etc
Then she mentioned that she is not really using tinder since it “complicates” her life now that her mom was here. Llater I say “ I m still at the office.. need to send some emails. Catch you later”
She sends around midnight: “Office done? I m about to sleep.” And saying what she did in the evening just like what a girlfriend would say, which I found it very strange. Saw the messages but did not open them until the next morning.

04 Jun: some texting in the morning and later in the evening:
She “Where are you tonight. Will I come across your way I wonder”
Me” Maybe”
She “ I do look extremely nice today”
Me” Maybe Not”
She” I do not want to give you trouble :p”
Me: “ Actually I don’t know where exactly with all this heat. Always keen for ….BAR ABC..”
She” I just came to Hotel …GTEF …”
Me: “ ...BAR ..DFE..”
She: “ yeah”

I was supposed to meet another friend that night so didn’t say anything about meeting. I was home, was extremely tired and the other friend bailed out not being well enough.

2 hours later:
She” Where are u?”
Me: “ eating pizza at home with couple of friends”
She” Oh”
Me: “People kinda lazy for outing. Too bad you ll probably not see me. Looking quite handsome tonight”
She: “ hahah , shit. I m out. Took mummy home”
Me: “ aha you dropped her and now you are out and about. cool”. At that point I passed out for 12 hours..
She at 23:30 : “So.. (Seems like she was eager to meet that night and was looking for me)

05 Jun: Me” Hey passed out last night really early”
She “ Omg. I was in “BAR ..TRT… bored”
Me: “ I was going to ask you to you go for a late night walk. But then zzzzz”
She” Ah.. mit would be much better to walk instead”
Me: “ I m at this ….. for brunch”
She: I go to the beach,,
Etc . etc.
Me” What are you up to later
She “I dunno”
Me: Let’s meet in the evening:
She : I ‘ll see what is happening. I was planning taking mom to dinner again”
“ we had great time last night. I would send you a photo. But you don’t want to see me”
Me: “ Yeah I would like to see it but after I meet you. That’s why we should meet so that we don’t have this issue with the pictures”
She: “ Yeah. God’s will”
In the night I was still around the area she lives:
Me: I am still out since brunch. Would you like to go for a quick walk after your dinner”
She: “ Oh shit I didn;’t see. I was planning a nap now. Let me know later plans but not sure I ll have time”
Me: I ll be free after 21.30. You live in ….? I can pass by there. “
She: “ Yeah I m still in bed. So nice place to be”
Me: “ Hey out of bed, won’t take too long”
She “ hehehe. Take me out. I m so sleepy”
Me” It’s ok. You ll have plenty of time to sleep. I can tell nice bed time stories if you would like to take a nap. So where about are you?”
She “ In bed:
ME: hmm. Yeah that I know. Ok don’t have much battery life. You seem tired. I thought it would be nice to meet for a while now. I ‘ll catch you another time then”
She: “ I m so dead ((. Don’t take it bad please
Me: I understand”

07 Jun:
I sent a funny pic.. texted a bit back and forth. Wrote something and she didn’t reply

12 Jun:
I initiated conversation again:
Blah blah. How are you doing?
She: “Beach day. U?”
Me: “ Woke up late. Gonna be by beach also in a while”
She: “ Which beach:
Me: “will I come across your way I wonder ”
“ I don’t think we are at the same beach.. beach …d…”
She: “Oh we are not. I m going home anyways.”
ME:” Don’t be sad. Let’s put a smile on your face”
She 
Me: That’s more like it. I know you are sad that you didn’t see me hehe. The time has come. Let’s meet. What are you dong later. How about we go somewhere nice in the evening, it is the last weekend before Ramadan…”
She: “ I planned dinner with mom and colleagues”
Joked about getting her mom drunk.
Me: “ Allright young lady. You seem interesting and I would like to know the face and person behind this. Soonish”
She: “When time gets right.”
Joked about how she will lure the boss to get a promotion. Then:
“Ok miss. When the time is right then ”

Did not get any text after this, I believe I have lost her interest by being a little pushy on a couple of occasions, perhaps on 05 Jun texts I guess. Even though she seems fun and intelligent she seems like she would be a difficult girl to sleep with. I might just send again a text next week to test the waters. For the time being I have other things to do and a couple of other possible options, following on another post.

I'm confused .

When you matched her on tinder, surely you saw her picture on that?

I have had interactions like this, it's very exciting and you just feel like you're synced like an iPhone and iTunes

But then it flakes when it comes to the crunch. I feel it's possible to build up too much expectation that it gives a girl cold feet. (Is she quite young?)

These days, I will try to keep things casual and not get too deep before the meet.

Good luck

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The above. It was exciting for me that she was the most interesting and intelligent person I talked with on tinder so far, even though I didn't know how she looks like. I figured I would meet her soon in person. If she was good looking then great, if I wasn't attracted to her, then no worries let's just be friends. Thought to do the exact opposite that every other guy would do and ask her to hide the SPAM picture, instead of showing it to me.

She showed interest to meet on one occasion and then it all disappeared. I made my point to meet twice after that and got no positive response, so I stopped talking to her.

On another note. Among my matches, I matched with an Indian chick without picture last week. I sent a text:

"Hey you look familiar, I 'm sure I have seen your picture somewhere before but can't quite recall where :p"
"The thing about not having a picture, it intrigues me to find more about the personality. But the looks of course matter as well "

Her: "haha" "that's great" good to hear that someone is not really paying attention to the looks only"
so what do you do. I m planning to go bowling in the evening
wanna join??

Me " Bowling for me is like a game of tic tac toe. It is X or O.. the X is rare though Thanks for the invite but can't make it tonight"

Her: 'hmm tic tac toe." " no worries I will carry on"

Me: But let's arrange sthng another time. There is still a couple of night before ramadan for a drink

Her "Okies. Fine"

Me: "tomorrow evening works for you?"

HEr " Im not sure for tom. will let you know"

ME: "No worries. This app is kinda slow. What is your SPAM no."

--------didn't get any reply-----
24 hours later
Me: "so what's the story behind this mysterious profile. tell me a bit about yourself. make it simple and colourful in a couple of sentences"

Her" hiii
going to .... ... now
well there is nothing colourful about my life, everything is black and white"

........blah blah... joking about the black and white and other things...........

20 Jun:
Me " heya how is your black and white weekend going.
gone with the wind with Sean connery?"

---4 days no reply-----
24 Jun morning
Her: Nope. still holding on to the wind"

So she replied 4 days later after seeing that I was not willing to send another message without her replying. Now the thing is that she straight out invited me to join her out in an activity. But then she was reluctant to meet and give digits and the texts are more short and to the point. I did not bother to reply yet. My response will be:

"Holding on to the wind is melodramatic. Femme fatale.. you sound like trouble lol
And then I ll say “ It feels like you are a straight to the point person. btw I wanna make it clear I like getting to know and meeting people but I m not into being text buddies just for the sake of it. Let’s meet up when we both have free time. what is your digits?”

A variation of the last worked into getting another number a day after the girl was reluctant to give it to me by suggesting “let’s stay on tinder for a while more, if we can. I ‘ much prefer that for now”

Last night:

Blind tinder date - Indian girl without profile picture from last week: arranged to meet up last night, using the phrase: “btw I wanna make it clear, I like getting to know and meeting people but I’m not into being text buddies just for the sake of it. Let’s meet up when we both have free time. What is your digits”. (CREDIT: SocialKenny website)

If she was not attractive, fat, ugly etc. no harm. I would just have a casual meet up, grab some coffee keep it short and go. I picked her up with my car outside the mall and was actually pleased that she looked kind of cute. Nice skin, pretty face, in a petite shaped body. And the common pattern with few girls I met so far: working as airline crew.

Found out she is a relatively religious Hindu girl who likes keeping her traditions, so I didn’t have much expectations about going physical but was curious to know. I have suggested earlier to go to this beautiful coffee shop which is located right just 30 meters from the sea. The whole place is quite romantic since it is a wide elevated pedestrian walkway next to the sea covering 2-3kms, with palm trees, benches and park area. People go there during the night to walk, run or chill and lay down on the grass.

Parked by the side of the main road and we walked there. I started strategically making some escalation at given opportunities as a reaction to the conversation: for example at first: speaking about zodiac signs and then lightly touching the shoulders and looking up at the sky saying “too bad we can’t see any starts at the sky tonight”. Or when I told her my birthday date, she said “oh you are a scorpio“ , so I playfully pinched her on the arm emulating the scorpio sting saying “be careful, I can sting..”, “it usually takes some time for my poison to take effect, so if your arm goes numb tomorrow, remember that would be from me”

Got coffee drinks and a cake, sat inside the coffee shop for a while and then we both said to move and sit out at the park. While sitting at the bench and talking, layed my arm on the bench and kept it extended touching her but not as a hug, Started showing pictures from my country and at some point there was a picture of woman sitting on the sand of the beach with long hair up to her waist. So I said “ I really like long hair on women” and I reached for her hair and brushed them saying “how long is your hair? Hmmm quite long though usually indian women have even longer”. Next we were talking about the tattoo of an actress at the back of her neck and I gently grabbed the back of her neck.

A bench just across the water became free, so I told her to go there. We talked some more and put a song to play on my mobile phone. Was talking about martial arts and that she was doing kickboxing for few months some time ago, so I asked her “ hmmm. Let’s see, did your shin become hard from training?” and touched her lower leg, “usually thai boxers train their shins either by kicking bamboo trees or by rolling a bottle on their shin” and I started moving my hand up and down her leg. Later as I was checking if her fingernails are real, I grabbed the palm and started giving hand massage telling that certain points on the hand are reflecting to different parts of the body and that by pressing them you might relive some pain (that is as far as I know on reflexology). After a minute she said “of this feels so good”

Now, kissing in public here is forbidden and considered quite offensive and you can get in trouble. So I did not reach to kiss her at the time. Finished the hand massage and said that it’s time to go. Went to the car. She put on her seat, I did not put mine, instead I switched the radio talked a bit and put the shazam application to show her how it works and how it finds the song that is being played. As I reached closer, I looked around and told her “is anyone looking?” and grabbed her neck and started kissing for a couple of minutes and she started getting bit passionate. She proposed to go sit at the back that is darker, however we were just parked on the side of the main road and there were people walking around.

I said we ‘ll move to another road, and drove to another place, empty field. Stopped in between two parked mini buses and moved to the back of the seat. Proceeded to start kissing again and things moved little further but she didn’t feel comfortable at that place because if we got caught it is most likely that we would get thrown in jail and kicked out of the country. I told her I understand and we will not do anything if you are feeling stressed, so just kiss me for now. She said “next time we ‘ll find a better place”.. By the way I could feel she is relatively sexually inexperienced. We left after few minutes and continued talking while I drove her home. After dropping her I was quite pleased about how smooth and natural all the interaction felt. I gave a virtual pat on my back. To be continued…