Girl S (female friend): She is a childhood friend of an ex-girlfriend (living at a nearby country) and is supposed to be secretly married at her country (heard it from ex), which I didn’t really believe. Met a couple of times with her along with my ex-gf up to last year and recently my ex-gf suggested that we should meet when I was going through a breakup so that I have a new friend. We went out a couple of times in May along with her SPAM and a friend of mine. Then she was out of the country for a while.

The first time we went out at some point we had a private discussion and she asked me about me and my ex, if there is still something going on (she was visiting me few times last year but we were not together) and the conversation was along the lines she had the impression I was still holding to her and that I shouldn’t be clinging on to someone because she looked at me as a friend and I was a good guy and should be moving on etc. but I reassured her that we have both moved on long time ago. Then she said not to mention any of this conversation to my ex and it is better not to tell her that we would be hanging out in the future. Later on in the car with the others, she offered me to lick her ice cream a couple of times while I was driving and called me on few occasions "babe". I interpreted the last few things as IOI and being a step over being really friendly and maybe sees me as potential to get intimate.

Anyways. The texting is usually short, funny and relaxed with quite a few days passing by with no interaction. She initiated the text also each time after coming back from holidays. (The first holiday I suspect it might have been with a guy living abroad. (Boyfriend / husband??) For sure I will not be asking in any way if she is with someone because there is no benefit from it if things have a chance to get intimate.

Last time was two days ago and we spoke on the phone and she proposed that she is free to hangout on Thursday. I said I ‘ll let her know, either we meet on Thursday or on a weekday.

Thursday is much more convenient for me. If I don’t meet the Girl P. on Thursday, I will definitely hang out with this girl out and then later in the night will aim to invite her to my place for a drink, since they don’t serve elsewhere. I would like to keep her as a friend but at the same time she is quite nice looking witty Asian that I would gladly love to sleep with. Will try to make a move but there should be sexual tension that should be built throughout the night.

How will I create sexual tension since up to now we have been more or less just friends?

Thank GOD we're using code names...

Girl S and Girl P must have their anonymity protected on this completely anonymous forum where you could have called them ANYTHING at all to make this less long and confusing. Why do guys do this on here?

Anyway - This smells bad to me. What is this shit about being secretly married? Cmon, really? That sounds like horse shit to me... Or at the very least it smells like a crazy woman with a strange cultural background that'll cause probs for you down the road.

What do you do to make a move and let her know you're interested? YOU ESCALATE.

That's it. That's all you gotta do. She'll either go along with it, in which case you keep going ----- or she'll shut you down and then you've got your answer.

Lol about the anonymity. The thing about being secretly married could make sense in the way that in the particular airline in this country, they would like to have single women as cabin crew and few girls were the first to get laid off after getting married. Another example I have heard from an ex in the same company is that a girl had been told by her supervisors that getting married was not a good idea and had to wait. Yeah, I know crazy. But true story.

Everything else in the way I know her so far and the amount of time she has been here does not make sense that she is married. In any case so far "I know nothing" and try to escalate. I usually move quite slowly in escalation. The first small test I like to do to check if the girl is open to a kiss would be to stroking/ grab / smell the hair and see if the girl is comfortable with that.

So you're already escalating... At a snail's pace --- how's that been working out for you?

Maybe time to pick things up or try something new?

"In any case so far "I know nothing": that was about her situation that I don't know if she is married and will escalate to test the waters.

To be honest I had been very shy with women and did not have many partners but only few longer relationships. Discovered the PUA community back in 2007, used the principles to get some dates and confidence and managed to get my first girlfriend, 6 years older than me and stayed in a 2 year relationship. Went back to totally AFC mode and got laid back because she was totally in love with me.

I have revisited the community now in 2015 recognizing that I need to improve and should be moving a little bit faster.

So far the pattern has been: first date meet and talk, chill, second date if I like the girl become more physical hold hands, grab her hair and kiss. Third date make out and proceed little bit further. 4th-5th: sex.
In the recent months I have discovered the Dicarlo escalation ladder and there is some good advice there.

You're shooting yourself in your own leg with that.

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