Hey guys! Here's my story: I'm in college, 20 and there's this girl I approached about 3 months ago but she didn't really seem interested. However, about a couple weeks ago she approached me and said she wanted to "apologize" for not showing any interest before. Now that I was 100% sure that she's attracted to me (I saw IOIs obv, and whenever her friend sees me she smiles or giggles especially when she's with her). The girl is like a 8.5, more on the cute side and she has guys drooling all over her. Anyways, I got her number and started texting her just as explained in the PUA community, in other words, I played it cool unlike an AFC. So, I set up a first date with her, and we go for it. The problem in the first date was that there was absolutely no kino involved, I know I know! My bad, sorry. So, we texted for like a week but not continuously since I'm not needy. Now, I'm trying to set up a D2 but she does not seem to be that interested. Whats confusing is that she was fine until a couple days ago when I asked her out but she said she can't make it since she has classes in the evening (and I know she does, we're in the same college duh). So here's how the recent conversation was like (all I did was ask her out without listening to any of her b.s):

Me: You any better yet? (She was sick)
Her: Hey, yeah I feel a little better now since I slept for like 8 hours.
Me: That's how much I sleep almost every night. Anyways, are you good enough to go for dinner?
Her: Well depends when because I've got an exam tomorrow.
Me: I wasn't talking about tomorrow, lucky you. How does day after sound?
Her: I'll let you know
Me: I'll be waiting

I know the last text was lame, and I've learned my lesson, besides that's how everyone learns. I haven't gotten a reply yet and also she's ignored a few texts before too but that could mainly be because there wasn't any need of a reply for those texts. What do you think of this one? Is she playing hard to get? Also, I have her in one of my classes, how should I act? Should I sit with her or with my friends instead?

1. You're letting her dictate the pace and tone of the interactions. "I'll let you know" is a horrible way to leave it.

2. Stop following MM so strictly... At some point you stop acting like a real person and you sound like course material... You claim not to be needy and AFC but that's exactly what this was.

So what exactly do you think I should do? For instance, how do I handle the "I'll let you know" situation if it ever occurs again?

From my experience I'll let you know almost always means no. Guy above is right, she is dictating pace and frame of the conversation and you are following her. The last "I'll be waiting" text makes you sound desperate and slightly creepy. Next time your out with friends tell her to come join you for a beer and some fun. If she comes great make a move and see where you stand. If she doesn't come then you already know where your at. Most women are not these sly, mysterious creatures. If she's into you she finds time to see you, if not she finds excuses.

This post is full of you both making excuses for yourself and for her to justify why she may of did this or that. You have no idea why she may of done what she did and it doesn't even matter. All you can do is worry about your portion of this.

First things first..

Theres a difference between texting a guy for attention and then having to make a commitment to seeing him by going out on a date with him. Women have lots of 'text buddies" or orbiters that they have no problem texting when they need a little attention, but are they going to go out with the guys? Absolutely not.

She was interested in the past, and she is no longer showing that same level of interest today. You didn't do what you had to do while you were out with her. You didn't show interest or make any attempts to show with action that you would be interested in being anything more than a friend. So what is she suppose to do.. Assume that you will change? Assuming that next time you will be assertive and attractive?

Laying low is your only option right now. If she comes back and tells you when she can meet she does. If she doesn't you release her back into the wild and move on with your life. Your attitude of wanting to "hold on" as long as you can is completely anti-attractive. The most attractive guys can take it or leave it and they never have to leave it because they display that attitude from the beginning.

Just chill man.

And take a look at this post when you get a moment: viewtopic.php?f=25&t=190620

P.s. "i'll let you kNOw" means NO.

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I don't get this. Actually I do, but let me express my frustration with you first.

You gotta be honest here man. This place is supposed to guide you into becoming a better version of yourself. Your ego will take some massive hits in the process and that's normal. Don't try protect it with shit like "I'm not needy", because a display of neediness is exactly what this was.

You're aware of some of your mistakes, and that's good. Learn from that.

"I'll let you know" means no. There's a chance that the stars align themselves and it'll turn into a yes, but in 99% of the cases it's a no, so treating it any differently makes no sense.

Having her reject a kiss may hurt your ego in the heat of the moment, but that doesn't mean she'll reject the second attempt. And it sure as hell doesn't kill your chances of being with this girl. Not doing anything on the entire duration of the date on the other hand... yeah, good luck.
So ironically enough, playing it "safe" is the actual (ultra) high risk way of going about it.

PS: The fear that makes you play safe comes from neediness as well.

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I do this a lot myself especially if I really like the girl. Your obsessing to much, which would be fine if she was your gf! Sometimes the best response is none at all. Make sure you don't get emotionally hurt, surround yourself with some friends and have fun. Don't wait for her.

"Your obsessing to much, which would be fine if she was your gf!" No... it wouldn't be fine.

Yeah, you guys were right.. "I'll let you know" actually means no 99% of the time since she said she's being forced to go to some place tonight with her family. So, I'm just going to act cool, stop texting her and move on to another girl. Or should I play it any different?

first off don't do dinner dates, but especially with shitty prospects

' maybe '

' i will let you know '

These are signs of when you have already lost the girl. Very hard to recover. I usually erupt with laughter and walk away

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Exactly. Once you hear this then let it go. If it's in a pub or club and you're going to lose value by walking away tail between legs (or self esteem if you're a newbie) then reply "I've changed my mind, I'm looking for someone more confident" Hold your hand out palm towards her then give a slight wave while backing off.

Any other girls watching are going to infer that you've rejected her as they most likely haven't heard the conversation. If she tries to pull you back or re-engage you in the conversation Don't she's looking for her value back and if you re-engage you'll just get the same thing once she has it.

This is needy behavior.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I wouldn't say you were needy, but I would say that you got ATTACHED to an outcome with her.

The whole idea behind following MM is that your main objective is to GET something from the girl,
and not enjoy your time with her.

As long as you'll try to get an outcome, you'll never be able to express your true self - and because
of that, women will never be able to connect with you - and will flake, over and over again.

So instead of following a system, just for one time - go out and make it your intention to enjoy
yourself, make fun situations and be as real with the girl as possible.

Just notice how women respond to you differently then.

Good luck.

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Lol sounds like a job interview. Whenever an employer says that shit you know your CV has already been shredded discretely under the desk. I'd think I had more of a chance being employed if they told me to "get the fuck out!"

Doesn't bode well.

I'd just say "sure" and forget them. Doesn't matter wtf you said you could've said "fuck my muffins!" at the end it's not going to change the outcome in any way.

But then again you're asking for dinner. Wtf who does that, I've only seen that on Frasier where everyone is 40+. Everybody meets for drinks at bars, she might just be rejecting because she doesn't want to go to dinner. Dinner is really way too formal for a "one-and-done" situation. I've never heard of anyone even doing that as a first date but I'm in England and so it might be different... Fuck "dinner".