Ok, first of all I hate the use of terms such as "Alpha" or "Beta", but for lack of better words at the moment, I'll go with it.

I however feel (or am) like a fake Alpha. Most girls that know me think I'm some sort of a player and a god with women. Which is somewhat understandable since I love to flirt, am a massive tease and extremely non invested in what others think of me. Right up until the point a girl show real interest in me. Fear of success is what I call it. To top it off, I've been on a 2 (yes, two) year dryspell. And I'm 22. It's not all bad though, since it wasn't waste time and my career is looking pretty good. Got a decent amount of friends as well.

You guys can imagine what something like this does to you. Recently I started dating a girl that.. I dont want to say she's out of my league but let's just say I'd show everyone I know a picture of her. Top it off with very matching personalities and you can already see how fucked I am.

I know the theory, I know I should stay non-needy and non-invested and I am trying really hard to do that. The problem is I'm starting to doubt myself. Panic over little things, even get hints of jealousy at times and I know all this is due to my dryspell. I'm not invested in her per se, I'm invested in having sex with her because I see that as a jumpstart to my recently dead sex life. It would be a huge boost of confidence. You've all been there, you know how it is.

Anyway, the point is I have made plans this whole weekend. Not with her though. Today a friend asked me for confirmation on whether or not I'm attending his event and I said "maybe, need to probably meet with someone". That's when I realized I would drop anything if it meant having this girl over at my place and exploding like a proper two-pump-chump.

So my question is, does a starving man refuse a meal opportunity to keep true to his word?

I kinda realized this mentality will probably repel her away in the long run, but I'm pretty sure I can calibrate as soon as I get this sex thing out of the way.

In your case --- this situation and your dry spell seems to be a little consuming. Fast track this girl and break through your drought.

Normally, yeah - I'd say you probably shouldn't cancel pre-existing plans for her, but it comes down to doing what you want. Forget the whole alpha thing... Just do what you want.

It seems to me you want to get laid.

My only fear is wanting it a little too much. To the point of fucking it up.

**Newsflash** Sex is nothing.

After you bust a nut you wont feel any diffrent.

Focus on being awsome - creating a life in which you can bust nuts on call.

Do what you gota with this girl - but focus on building abundance.

I'm glad you are aware of how repelling being needy is , thats good. awareness will help you get girls even if you are on a dryspell because at least you are aware and can socially calibrate and not be a retard creep.

If i were you i'd interact with more girls and have more chances of getting laid.

Simple as that. By interact i mean talk to girls that are single and can be potentially interested.

Thats why you need to learn game

Anyway you'll be alot happier this way - you'll be on your path in life and girls are a byproduct of your awsomness.

It's always better than having girls dictate your life choices. Fuck that.

Own it. Be awsome . Dont chase, replace. Get it done !

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KeepItCool bro.

The one thing that I've found that fucks most guys up is their need to rush to the finish line. I got the least chicks in my life when I felt a need to take a selfie, or make a video of me in the girl on my phone just so I can have "proof" that I was able to get that level of woman. I was being a loser. I felt like I needed to capture that moment so the world would believe me. The moment I stopped doing that shit and realized that I don't have to take a picture with NO girl, because I'm always going to have attractive women in my life I realized an increase in the women I was attracting. My frame grew stronger and because of it I was becoming more attractive.

The BETA instinct that you speak of is also the need to want to take or show off a picture. Or text more often that you should. etc. etc. It gives you an instant gratification and by resisting that urge you will see a lot more light coming into your life days ahead. Its a sacrifice today, for a better future tomorrow.

A girl also RESPECTS the fuck out of a guy that doesn't put her first. Every GUY would drop their friends to have sex with a hot girl. But do you just want to fuck her or do you actually want to build something sustaining and lasting? Then you can't be like EVERY GUY. Be the guy that values the friends that have been in his life for way longer than the attractive girl he just met. Because best believe, when you ditch your friends to fuck her and turn out to like her more, the level of subconscious respect won't be there to turn the situation into something more sustainable.

You just have to trust and be confident in the fact that SHE WILL be there because you believe you're just that incredible. Self belief is the key to resisting beta instincts.

its not always comfortable, but neither is working out. However, working out makes you stronger so its worth. Being a coach potato is fun in the moment, but is detrimental to your future and the days ahead.

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2 year dryspell? dude fuck your friends, lol.

Seriously though, don't go army on yourself. Focus on the big picture. Going to the gym and shredding your body is a process that happens overtime, and having a cheat day every couple of weeks prevents binges. Same applies here.

Think macro, not micro. As long as cheat day doesn't become every other day, you'll be fine.

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Thanks guys. Will keep your suggestions in mind.
However I may have done something stupid. It's not related to the topic subject per se but here goes:

It started off in a low-key way at work. Nobody knew about us and at first it was quite fun so we decided to keep it that way. So yeah, at the office we act as if nothing is up. Then we leave together with a few other co-workers, drop them off somewhere and the final ~1km walk home we have to ourselves. No problem holding hands, making out, all that. Except it became sort of the frame of it all.

From what I can tell she's not as receptive showing public displays of affection when walking around other - more exposed areas of town, like the mall or city center during the day. I'd say she's even uncomfortable with it.

I'm all for keeping it undercover at the office, but once we're out of there I'm not going to refrain myself simply because someone we work with "might pass us by". It was fun at first but it's getting tiring and high-schoolish lately.

I don't know how to address the issue. I don't want this to become a "1 mile from home radius relationship". And if it already has, we need to change that. But how do I go about it?
Do I tell her what I just said here or do I do what a friend suggested and "escalate" to warm her to the idea? Aka ease her into it, hold her hand a few moments, let go, pull her in, let go again and increase the duration each time?

I know how stupid this is but I honestly got nothing to go on here.

Patience man.. Why does this have to happen now? What exactly are you sick of? What is it you want to be publicly intimate with her for at work exactly? What does that do for you? And what does that do for her?

I'd advise you to keep it cool, women usually come around and do the things we would want them too if we just wait. We're always projecting onto them what we want from our frame.. and the PICK UP on this. So she knows, even if its just subconsciously what you want. You don't have to verbally or physically place this onto her.

This post is one of the many reasons why we all strongly advise against beginning relationships within the work force.

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Be honest. Dont plan anything. Tell her how you feel when you feel.

If it doesn't work out, okay, it wasnt going to be worth the mental energy/effort anyway. It never is.

You're in the Pick Up Artist Forums - Not the onitis forums.

But thats just my opinion.

Also i think she's already made up her mind about you, so you're better off being real and not playing games - I never recommend playing games anyway. I'm personally a more of a streight forward, we doing this or not? type of guy, it works for me and i make it work for my students.

And honestly if it doesnt work out, im never mad at the girl, i'm always aware of the reality of life and the truth of the situation, i take my lessons and move on to the next.

The next is always better

Good luck

Try this if you want

p.s Being real and honest/vulnerable at times can be good and it never burns any bridges. You can always come back to that girl later down the line if she wants it. But i doubt after moving on you'll want to come back. But life is life, go with the flow

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