Sorry to go on again but need to get something off my chest and see how other people get on.

For anyone new, my gf ended with me as she couldn't handle the long distance any more. She wanted to be friends but for a week i messaged her then thought fuck this im not her friend, deleted her from everything.

3 weeks now. I feel like shit still, iv been working out loads, went out this week end ($400), met no nice girls, just young sluts. Looking online - nothing. Been trying to keep busy.

Now she wanted to end it but not lose contact, and i constantly think about calling her etc... i told her she can have me or nothing 3 weeks ago.

Does she feel this pain as well? I feel like i need to man up, and trying but she just lurks in the back of my mind constantly. It kills me that we got on so well, and was everything i looked for in a girl.

Breakups suck. It's just how it is. You need to give yourself some time and in the meanwhile work on yourself and better the aspects of your life.
I know you think it will give you some sort of closure but whether or not she's curled up in a ball crying her eyes out or in a club bathroom getting fucked by 3 different guys, it makes no difference.

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At some point I was going to call her, not to ask her back but more to see how she is, if she asks il say im fine and say im off on vacation soon. Keep it brief. I just want to make sure shes not pregnant really. But must ensure that I show no bother for her any more.

Bad idea?

That's bullshit. We both know that.

What good can come off of you calling her? Think. I know your judgement is clouded but right now you're the recovering alcoholic telling me that "just a sip can't hurt".

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

She feels relieved. And able to move on. She might miss you a little but definitely not going through what you are right now.

I've been on both sides. Yours suck more but it will make you stronger.

Hearts don't break evenly my friend.

And there are non "slutty"(by your dentition) girls out there, you just have to realize that your perspective is a like skewed because you're fresh out of a relationship with a girl you loved. Every girl will seem inadequate at first because you're emotional, but the truth is, you probably walked on by several women this weekend who are in fact a lot better than the girl you were with.

Theres an old expression that goes " A pimple turns into a dimple when you're in love".. Reality becomes fantasy, and this is something that will heal in time.

Truth is, its highly likely that she ended things because she's ran into someone else that she's interested, but she cares about you too much to lead you on. So she gave you the option.

I think you did the right thing.

I'm sure she feels something, but from the sounds of this you got the bigger end of it. It hurts, but we recover and get over it. And try not to feel bad, it seriously happens to the best of us. And the better you get at game the more painful the heart break because thats when you least expect it coming.

Pain is all relative, but this isn't as bad as it could be. Trust me.

I personally would recommend you finding something more local anyway. How far away was she?

And I also can't help but wonder what the difference between communicating while in a relationship and communicating while not being in one if you guys are long distance? No SPAM sex?

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She had no other guy, i saw her a month later and she told me she just couldnt do the distance. Havn't spoken in 3 weeks now though.

The thing I find hard is im changing my life, bought a car, decided to q my job, going away for the summer, working out loads.

I have been running everyday and the whole time i think of her, can't stop it, shes motivating me to get in shape. I go to work late as shes in my mind constantly. I remember my ex before, took 6 months until i had a day when i didnt think about her once.

Any ideas for that?

If you believe that you don't speak "women".

What is she saying in women language when she says " I can't do the distance ". What does she really mean?

It means she wants to be held, she once to be touched, she wants to be had sex with more than you can provide for her because of the distance. A she wouldn't give up the affection she is getting from you now, unless she's spotted a potential better deal.

So i'm not saying there is someone yet, but she damn sure has taken interest in someone else.

Knowing the truth and accepting it will speed up your healing process.

Thoughts become word, words become actions, actions become habbits, habits become character, and character becomes destiny.

The more you think of her, the more you write on forums about her, and the more you speak about her when people ask. The longer your healing process will be. Learn to stomache the pain, and them 6 months will turn into 3.

And do yourself a favor and remain no contact. It only resets your healing process and takes away from the respect/love she has for you.

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I gave into temptation last night....

Me: guess what I had earlier that reminded me of you ?
Her: restaurant
Me: yeah it was good, anyway was just wondering if I left my belt at yours as I can't find it
Her: no havnt seen it sorry maybe its in your jeans ? Or xxxxx some place else ?
Me: oh well sure it will turn up. You ok anyway?
Her: I'm not bad, how are you ?
Me: not bad doesnt sound good ? yeah I'm good, just been working out so much I need my belt lol, just been keeping busy playing sports.
Her: oh I'm glad your doing good. I've just been doing my college work and finished Tuesday so went out to celebrate then my house mates friends came over last night late and we played drinking games and then I'm out tonight for a friends birthday and out tomorrow too.
Her: I'm knackered
Me: rather you than me, enjoy it x

Kinda ended it, but she sent me a long message wasn't sure if its cos she was trying to just be my friend again hoping I would listen or give something else. But she was replying pretty instant.

Any chance I can get back with her ? Shoot me.

You're an idiot.

Don't worry, you'll come to the same conclusion later.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Talking to her Indirectly about your belt is transparent and lame. This sort of shit is pushing her further away

Stop being a chode. I just got dumped last night. Life goes on. Chase more women. Maybe start with a girl that lives in the same city.

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Why do you even ask for advice?

Guys you know how painful it can be. I know she likes me and thinking back now you know, the distance and she was torn about us but by trying to get her to come running back I just pushed her away.

She is an amazing girl, and I do love her. I hate that it ended like this and maybe I should leave it bit I believe we can get back together.

While I'm sure everyone is jumping at the chance to give you more advice you will completely ignore - I can't imagine many will...

We have all told you what you should (and shouldn't) do... Nothing has changed.

It's a breakup. Shit happens. We have all been there. Suck it up, man.

Do you want advice?

Or you do want us to listen to play therapist? There are other forums for you that people will be happy to empahise with you.

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