| little back story on me, I'm pretty bad with women to be honest, I haven't so much as kissed a girl in about a year, and I don't really socialize/meet new women.
So as the title said, I've been friends with this chick for about 3 years (she's the cousin of my best friends wife), it seems that there has always been mutual slight sexual tension between us (more so from me probably) but I've never made a move until recently...let me tell you the story.
Two weeks ago (the day before new years eve) she texts me saying she's bored, at this point we really hadn't seen each other in a while, so I invite her over to play beer pong. We get a couple mutual friends over, play beer pong, get drunk and have a good time. As the night winds down she sits on my lap by the fire. Everyone leaves and she ends up spending the night. I get her into my bed and start making out with her for the first time ever. I escalate, get to the point of fingering her, she says the usual shit "I don't want to be a slut", "I'm kinda sorta seeing someone right now" blah blah but I try my best to brush that off and keep going, this goes on for a good hour or two of foreplay... but, alas, no sex. New years, we hang out, and the same deal happens THAT night as well.
After this point and for the last two weeks I've been really emotionally invested which is super bad, and I think thats causing problems now because I can't get her to stay the night. We hung out a few times since, I made out with her in my bed once, but I can't get her to stay the night. Last time we hung out (saturday night) I fucked up and basically begged her to stay over and of course she didn't, she just gave me a hug and went home. I know I will see her again, but I doubt she will give me an opportunity to make a move... one of the last things she said to me about the whole situation was "it'll happen if it happens", not sure which way to take that but I'm sure they're all bad.
I talked to a friend good friend who is really into PUA about this situation, he says I need a good balance of two things: being non-reactive to her presence but be punishing... to basically make her feel like she lost something, but to be non-reactive about it as I understand it... I really agree with his advice, but am lost about specifics of how to be "non-reactive"
So... any tips? how do I act in the future? if she comes over, should I pretend as if she's not my only option for sex that night? and what about making moves on her? if/when is it appropriate?
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CHAT