Thank you for this. I really appreciate your insight because as hard as it's been for me on an emotional level, reading this gave me some peace. I appreciate each and everyone who has stepped in and gave their take on it because it pulled me out of being upset and put me in a place where I was actually thinking in a rational even if I did disagree with a few of you.

No. I wouldn't call her if she was supposedly with her parents. That's one of those things that make women angry because they know you're checking up on them.

Again, you are speaking in absolute terms. The concept of reciprocity as expounded by Dr. Robert Cialdini in his book Influence is not 100% absolute. Many will reciprocate. And if I'm not mistaken (my memory is not sharp as it used to be), it's not even the majority.

On the otherhand, the lack of vaginal orgasms among women cover the great majority. It's just a matter of placing your bet with the best chance for success. The equation A > B is not jumping to conclusions. Mathematics is an exact science.

You got lost in the verbosity of the studies and failed to recognize the simplicity of the numbers. Those numbers reflect empirical evidences gathered using stringent scientific standards.

At the end of it all: You can improve or you can remain with the status quo. It's your choice.

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The posters saying "a favor is owed" and that your gf is sucking dick Thursday night have never had threesomes, lol.

That's a fearful, unrealistic mindset that shows a real lack of insight into nuanced, complex sexual relationships. My gf and I just read these posts, and she's laughing. We had/have the exact same situation., including the age gap.

As far as calling her thursday night I said "if it makes you feel better", not necessarily that you should. This is well in line with your desire to babysit her at the hotel that evening.

Instead of being a fearful man, firmly set boundaries. Not too many though, just a few you feel are important.

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Arch, in all honesty you don't talk like a guy that has much experience in this. You talk like a guy that scored once and now considers himself an expert.
The implications of bringing best friends or roommates into the mix are pretty intrinsic.
What's unrealistic is you thinking the only factor that plays into a 3some is how "dominant" the other guy is. OP himself got a 3some by doing literally nothing else than mentioning it to his girl after a few drinks. That has little to do with dominance. She set it up. Which is different from your 3some with your own girlfriend.
The exact same could apply in reverse, and you're plunged deep into wishful thinking if you believe it cannot happen. For all you know, it already may have.
He just said that they used to do the motel routine on the regular. I don't particularly agree with it and maybe his suspicions did play a role in this particular case, but doing something that's otherwise normal by the relationships' standards and checking up on her purely to "feel better" are two entirely different things.

On one hand you're saying "don't be fearful" and on the other "call to feel better". And set boundaries regarding what? You have no problem getting sucked off by someone else but she can't do the same? Would you be willing to participate in a MFM with her?
And if we're on the topic of fear, why are you interdicting her to hang out with roommate and boyfriend? Because they might try shenanigans?
Guys will always try shenanigans. That's not a boundary, that's being controlling.

Whatever happened to being her best option?

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These chicks arent amoebas; its not just orgasms and dominance = they follow your boundaries not to lose you. Fear of loss is strong, whether it be fear of losing a great guy or multiple orgasms. But thats irrelvant. These are human beings with brains. If they want to do something or they dont see a problem with it, and YOU are deciding factor, guess what...it becomes just not letting you find out. Like Arch, you tell your gf she cant be home when the roommates bf comes over...you really think sometimes she isnt there when he's over? You really think keeping that secret isnt easy to keep? I mean, if she doesnt care about your boundary, she'll just go around it. RC had a good point, you cant control someone's actions. You gotta be ok with that. But you cant delude yourself that giving multiple orgasms and being a dominant male even means your word is followed. Sure it is, when you ask about it or show her a thread. But if she doesnt have a problem herself with the bf, you can bet she's over there when he is; just sometimes isnt telling you. Thats why when growing up, if your parents threatened you not to do something you wanted to do, you still did it, you just did it secretly. Despite fear. Even kids of abusive parents disobey. Chicks in abusive relationships where the guy is beating her ass daily, still cheat or still break boundaries. People do what they want to do. You have no control over someone's actions.

For one thing Neo, amoebas don't have vaginas. The studies I've cited are studies on human beings and not on amoebas or prairie voles. These studies help understand human behavior; not the behavior of amoebas. I haven't found any studies yet out there showing that amoebas have orgasms or exhibit dominant behavior. Perhaps you can enlighten us on your expertise on amoebas?

It's fine with me if you're asserting that your understanding of human behavior in this thread is better than mine, Arch's, or the researchers for the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. What I don't like is you twisting the fact that the links I provided are studies on human beings and not on amoebas.

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Nobody said sexual pleasure or dominance are irrelevant, hellhound. But you and Arch are making it out to be the end all be all of relational success. It's not.
Is it important? It is.

Women are not mindless animals driven by nothing other than primal desires.

There being a correlation between loyalty and sexual satisfaction does not imply causation. And even if it does, an increase in loyalty does not imply absolute loyalty.

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Horse shit.
I didn't even mention anything about causes. I specifically mentioned about correlation. You are arguing a point I did not even mention.

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Don't take it out of context.

It is irrelevant towards blind obedience, it's relevant towards relationship quality.

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Nah. You're taking it out of context. "But that's irrelevant." came right after the words 'multiple orgasms'.

Moreover, the studies were conducted on modern human beings; not Neanderthal primates or chimpanzees.

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I think I'm reading a lot of huge leaps and jumping to conclusions. You called me weak and neurotic earlier which is absolutely not the case. My girlfriend brought up the subject of the menage between her and the other couple. For the first time in our relationship she rejected the idea of traveling out to the same town to see her parents. I think any rational person could come to the same conclusion that I did. So I don't see how you can come to the conclusion that the posters that disagree with you have never had experienced a menage a trois. I've experienced a menage a trois and I followed the exact line of thinking that they did. I even spoke to three girls on the matter and they came to similar conclusions. My logical side agrees with everyone that says a sexual encounter is going to happen.

Maybe you can explain to me how to set the boundaries because I told her that I didn't want her having a menage with another couple. I thought that was actually setting the boundary. Please be honest with me because you say that I have nothing to worry about but sort of imply that something will happen because I didn't set boundaries. Do you really think something is going to happen but are trying to spare my feelings? I'm a grown man and I'd prefer you to be honest rather than protect me from getting hurt.

All of that being said, my emotional side wants you to be right about the length of our exclusive relationship and the fact that she tells me she loves me is assurance enough that nothing is going to happen and she will really be with her parents.

I like the fact that you are a life coach. I'd like to set up a call with you and your girlfriend since she is aware of my situation and is in a similar situation with her roommate and roommate's boyfriend. I think her female point of view would be outstanding for me to hear because I have a lot of questions for her. How can we set that up?

I have to ask you this. How do you know that I am in the status quo? It is baffling that I have one guy calling me neurotic, weak, and insecure and then another guy saying I'm part of the status quo. Just for the sake of my own understanding, can you just connect the dots for me when it comes to the information that I've provided. Just because I didn't go to wikipedia to make sure that I used the correct vocabulary and mark the checkboxes that verified orgasm doesn't mean that she doesn't have them.

The status quo is where you are currently right now: you're worried that your gf is going to give another dude a blow job. You said it yourself. That's how I came to know the status quo in regards to your relationship. I don't do crystal ball reading.

As for the information on women's orgasms, it didn't came from Wikipedia. It came from clinical practitioners Kline-Graber in their book Woman's Orgasm which I have field validated a lot of times based on my sexual experiences with +100 women. Kline-Graber used MRI equipment to measure brain activity among women from start to finish in their vaginal orgasms. Alongside this, they also observed physical and physiological changes in women's bodies as they had vaginal orgasms. This is not about clitoral orgasms; it's about vaginal orgasms.

It is NOT common knowledge.

Your area of improvement is on how to heighten girls' relationship satisfaction with you via learning how to give proper and consistent multiple vaginal orgasms so they have stronger attachment to you. This way, when you ask women to make hard sacrifices for you like NOT giving another dude a blowjob, they will happily and gladly comply to your wishes versus reciprocating their roommate's wishes.

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I was not referring to your links nor research. When I say irrelevant it's in relation to whether she will lie to you or hide something from you. Never argued that good sex doesn't matter for a relationship. But whether she hides something from you is the issue. It's not about whether OPs girl will go searching for better sex out there... it's about whether if her friend asks for the favor she will comply or not. Sure he could fuck her awesomely and she may not crave another man. And she may fear loss of that great sex to obey the OPs wishes. But she's a human being is my point. If she doesn't see a problem with it she can just hide it. If she sees no problem with it she'll prob do it.

I was talking about the general rule and the majority while you're talking about the exceptions and the minority. Nothing is absolute. All that we can rely on is which approach has a higher chance of working in op's favor. It's stupid to place your bet on the approach that has a lesser chance of working when another approach which has a higher chance of succeeding is available.

You're not making any sense Neo.

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