thanks to all the posters here who gave me sincere advice with this particular set.your words were painfully true as i found out recently.the chick was playing me from the start.she invited me out two nights ago says she wants me to take her and her friends out.this chick had me by the balls so i obliged like the pussy i am.i am financially struggling sold my car so i told them to take the bus and meet at a designated place where we will both then take another bus to take us to the party.i arrived earlier than they did so i went to a nearby place gave her call.she told me both her and her friends are near.i said okay.i waited for a while but when i realized that she was taking more than the usual time i gave her a call.she told me to take the bus by myself as they can't come to where i am because they met a friend who was going to the party and they are already there.i told her to take a cab as i can't go there alone because it is kinda risky.she hanged up on me.i stood there helpless realizing that i have been made to look like a fool.i left went back to my home.there was no party for me that night.lesson painfully learnt.

Perhaps it's me, buy Charles Finley hinted to it.

Dude, who gives a crap whether you're the one initiating the meet up! Does she show up or flake? According to the OP; she shows up. Then what is the problem!?

Stop overcomplicating things dude. Most guys don't have that luxury of finding a non-flakey girl.

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The problem is that she doesn't get chance to initiate first. Meaning he's contacting her so much that she has no chance to miss him. How is she supposed to appreciate something that is forced on her on a daily basis? Just because it's working at the moment, doesn't mean it's a good way to handle things.

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it stopped working anyway.she said she wanted me to take out and i agreed but ditched me after i came to meet her.she stood me up after i travelled for a distance that is about a 30 min drive.i felt destroyed.that is the bitchiest thing a girl has even done to me.it just didn't make sense to me.some people really in this world are fucked up.it truly had me shaken.my game seems to have somewhat suffered a stroke or something.she tore my self esteem to pieces.she was using me all the time.i just feel down and i have no idea whether i will recover from this.she really played me in the classical sense.and turns out she is madly in love with some other guy.fuck this stings.

I thought she was your girlfriend? Wtf?

Anyway. Thread in my sig about guys who want their ex back and whatever. It's not what you think. Read it. Apply it. Kill it good luck!

Ask yourself better questions: "Why am I too good for her?" "Why do I feel so fucking good right now?" and your brain will answer them for you.

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What does "taking more than the usual time" mean? 10 minutes? half hour? an hour?

So you'd agreed to rendezvous with she and her friends, and when she was a bit late you - and called you telling you they'd all got to the party through another means, you insisted she cab back to you so she could hold your hand to the party?

Maybe I am missing something here, to be honest I've only read this post and hadn't paused to look at the previous pages of this post. It sounds like you've created this belief about being used and everything has become a cognitive bias to this thought.

Again, I could be wrong on this but at first glance this is what it looks like.

I still firmly believe this girl is not your gf.

You're a friend. That's it. You don't cab for a friend to bring him at a party because who the fuck knows what his problem is.

She didn't do anything to you. You caused your very own self pain by having delusional expectations from someone that owed you nothing.

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I get this kind of vibe, too. Guys should never assume it's a relationship until she brings it up, then it's up to the guy to decide if he wants a relationship or not. That's the one and only time I can think of where guys shouldn't lead. If a woman gets to the point where she's actually bringing it up, she wants it BAD.

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You still lead. You lead the relationship in that direction via your actions and what emotions you stir up in her.

Anyway, OP didn't even have sex with this girl. There was no relationship to speak of.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Yea, this is true. I meant the only time she should "go first" is bringing up the idea, but I don't want to give guys the idea that "it's ok not to make a move, cause J.Daniels says so" lol

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I didn't read any of the posts but the subject title reminds me of an ex where every single time i ever asked her 'what do u wanna do' she would say 'idk'. In general men are the initiators and women react to that.