This is beautiful. This is exactly what I was trying to say. His "pay" (game) would have to constantly be greater than great... he could never relax and give her less than 100% - I want better than that for this guy.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

SO in criminals they found in brain scans that there is a correlation with undersized amygdala and repeat offenders.

If a brain scan of cheating women vs loyal women were done I'd bet a million bucks you would find the same thing.

Doing stuff like breaking laws, cheating, and lieing produce chemical responses in the body, and over time things like guilt or a conscience are silenced.

These women have a total lack of empathy for their victims. This mental habit won't suddenly change when she gets with you. If you make her unhappy she won't mind cheating, it won't matter.

_________________
"Keep your head up in the sky, you just a baby."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HccL8jUIIWU - Adoration of the Magi Lupe Fiasco

It doesn't have to be a proactive effort, lol. Plus why are you even taking it there? I told him to date her. That doesn't automatically imply he's gonna like her enough to keep her around until she's in a position to cheat on him.

I understand you had bad experiences, but if you did it was most likely your fault, not hers.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Getting cheated on, is NEVER your own fault. You're ignoring so many facts. The Microsoft example was perfect. Any guy with high enough standards, would never settle for a girl who cheats. It's naive and beta to think otherwise "Oh but I'm better, she'll never be unhappy with me, not even for a split second, as long as we never argue and she's never drunk and horny while I'm not around... it'll be ok. I'll just make sure she doesn't go to the club and get drunk, incase she ends up horny" ...k

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Lol whoever that girl was did a number on you man.

You're really hellbent on defending this point... Talk about exposing your weakness.

Anyway, I think you're confusing a notorious cheater or a "whore" with a woman that happened to leave her current weak boyfriend for the strong man that comes into her life that gives her purpose.

Just because a man leaves quits his job at McDonalds after the first week, doesn't mean he'll quit his job at google the first week. Now a man that has been known to quit every job he ever has might? But even then he might not, once he's reached a position that he feels actually reflects the value within him.

I think you're comparing your direct experience; that you're obviously way too emotionally connected to, to all women in all situations. A girl thats cheating on every guy that she's ever been with? Or A girl thats been known for sleeping around significant amounts while single. Sure. I wouldn't encourage the OP to get with a whore. But a woman who got into a commitment with a dude who she realized wasn't worth it, and happened to meet another guy before she"made up her mind". I don't think you can compare that to yours.

Don't love these hoes man. Thats your fault. The OP may not be in this situation.

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Ironically enough it's almost always your fault. And yes it's beta and naive to think like that. But who ever suggested anyone should? It's not about making her happiness your #1 priority. It's not about her at all in fact. It's about knowing your own worth.

I don't have much to add besides what Eddie said.

You can't judge a forest by a single tree dude.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Knowing your own worth? I know I'm worth more than a girl who can't stay faithful.

Also, the guy who said something about "Don't love hoes" ...I don't. That's why I don't date them. That's also why I told this guy not to.

It's nothing to do with a girl "doing a number on me" - I've also cheated (no, it doesn't make me a hypocrite, I don't consider myself as boyfriend material... but if girls want me, so be it.)

If somebody will do something once, they'll do it twice.

I see myself as better than the average guy, and I'm improving daily... but that doesn't mean that some random slut would agree. I just want this guy to have high standards, and not settle for a low value woman.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

None of this logic makes sense to me tbh

If she is cheating on her bf, why should I trust what she says as to WHY she is cheating and HOW MANY time she has cheated? I'm sorry, if I catch someone stealing from my condo I'm not believing that it's their first time stealing, or that they stole to feed their 8 starving kids. If I know someone is being seriously dishonest with their bf, I'm not believing much they say. Lol that's like trusting the guy you rob a bank with not to stick you up afterwards for all the money.

Could she be a faithful, great gf who is just with the wrong guy? Yeah. Could she be a "whore" or cheats on all her bfs for some messed up reason? Yeah. To me, I dont know which. But the benefit of the doubt was erased when I found out you ARE being dishonest with someone else ie your bf. I've messed with girls in relationships, marriages...I was never that crazy to believe that they were just doing it with me, or that the reason was what they said it was.

But that's just me as I like to keep shit simple. If you're a thief, I'm not bringing you around my stuff or believing that you wouldnt steal from me. I'll probably miss alot of rehabilitated thieves but save myself from getting jacked a lot of times. But, everyone is different. Some guys give people greater chances, may have more faith in people, or may just have an ego like that... and that's fine. As to whether cheating is due to the guy, I disagree. It's integrity imo. You make a conscious decision NOT to break up with the lame guy before texting the new guy. If your conscience doesn't hit you in the days you are setting up a date with a new guy, that's because you lack integrity and character.

A'right dude, I'm done. You don't understand what I'm telling you.

We'll have to agree to disagree.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

This is too good for me to find a single part to comment on (and put in my signature) ...so far on this thread, there's been a real shortage of intelligence. Thanks for showing up.

Again, cheated on, is never your own fault. That's like saying it's your own fault if your car gets stolen while you're at work lol. The only way a guy is to blame, ever, is for taking the kind of advice that those 2 guys are giving "she wont cheat this time" and expecting it to actually be true... I've read most posts on this thread while wanting to cringe, apart from the one I quoted.

OP, there's a (very small) chance that they could be right, this could just be a severe case of her being in an awful position where he'd kill her if she left him (the only situation I can think of where a girl of integrity wouldn't have left already) ...yea, not sure if you want to believe that lol - some new guys would; oneitis and all'a that.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

This analogy is complete bullshit. You're comparing a car to a woman. An inanimate object to a human being with cognitive decision making abilities. A car doesn't decide to get stolen, for fucks sake.
You're honestly gonna come here and condense countless replies with high quality advice into "she wont cheat this time"? Is that truly is what you got from what Eddie and I said? Either your sense of self worth isn't high enough for you to be able to relate, or euphemistically speaking you simply aren't very smart.

No one told the man to date a notorious slut. But you're entirely incapable of acknowledging that a woman willing to cheat on a weak man is nothing more than that, a woman willing to cheat on a weak man. She's not whatever fucked up idea you have in your head.

Judging from your emotional investment in this it's obvious someone fucked you over big time. And it's no wonder - considering your reaction and how it affected you. This deep level of neediness/insecurity is probably why it happened in the first place.

You preaching to the OP as if you know what you're talking about is insulting not only to him, but everyone who reads this forum. Because it's blatantly obvious how biased your opinions are.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You're calling me "insulting" and "emotionally invested" ...while resorting to insults yourself? We can agree to disagree - I won't keep replying to a troll. Every man has his weak moments, so every man deserves to get cheated on, you're right. Why would any man go with a woman with too much integrity to ever cheat on anybody? A woman with enough respect to leave a guy rather than fucking another? I've said nothing to show that I'm needy and insecure... you're just jumping to conclusions. But I'm the stupid one? 'kay then lol.

At least the other guy can handle a mature discussion, rather than just flying off the handle and insulting everybody who disagrees with his opinion.

Lol I'm done here. Insult me a few more times... I'm sure my stupidity can handle it.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Once a cheater always a cheater is something I strongly believe in. It's pretty much always true. It's about justification. If they can justify cheating in one instance, probability is EXTREMELY HIGH they will do it again should that instance arise, or even a separate instance.

On the flip-side, if I man can make a woman so attracted to him that she doesn't feel the desire to cheat, then she probably will not cheat on him.

I see the logic in both sides of the argument. It's the guys fault because technically he could've been "better in the relationship in whatever aspect that is probably unknown to him" and it's her fault for not breaking up with the guy before seeking intimacy with another man.

My opinion is to never trust a cheater. At the same token, I know married couples who each had affairs of t heir previous marriages and are currently living amazing lives together. The question is will they leave each other should something better come along? Is it just luck that at that point they decided to settle and both don't have to worry about the other cheating now?

So many unknowns, but a lot to consider. What's most important is to weight to pros and cons and decide for yourself if the risk of the downsides are worth it for you.

Mmmm...I have a couple of run-ins in the past similar to your story.

You should not pay so much attention to their conscious responses—a person
who is obviously trying to please or charm you is probably playing to
your vanity, and wants something from you. Instead, pay greater attention
to those responses outside conscious control—a blush, an involuntary mirroring of some gesture of yours, an unusual shyness, even perhaps a flash of
anger or resentment. All of these show that you are having an effect on a
person who is open to your influence.

As a seducer, you can never mistake people's appearance for reality. You
know that their fight to keep order in their lives is exhausting, and that they
are gnawed by doubts and regrets. It is hard to be good and virtuous, always
having to repress the strongest desires. With that knowledge in mind, seduction
is easier. What people want is not temptation; temptation happens
every day. What people want is to give into temptation, to yield. That is the
only way to get rid of the tension in their lives. It costs much more to resist
temptation than to surrender.

Your task, then, is to create a temptation that is stronger than the daily
variety. It has to be focused on them, aimed at them as individuals—at their
weakness. Understand: everyone has a principal weakness, from which others
stem. Find that childhood insecurity, that lack in their life, and you hold
the key to tempting them. Their weakness may be greed, vanity, boredom,
some deeply repressed desire, a hunger for forbidden fruit. They signal it in
little details that elude their conscious control: their style of clothing, an
offhand comment. Their past, and particularly their past romances, will be
littered with clues. Give them a potent temptation, tailored to their weakness,
and you can make the hope of pleasure that you stir in them figure
more prominently than the doubts and anxieties that accompany it.

-Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction