Your mentality, is the influencer of your frame.. And everything you say carries the emotional resonance of your mentality and frame. You don't have to tell a girl " i'm desperate and needy for you" for her to know this. Women communicate with each other intuitively and they "try" to do the same with us. But once again, they think we're stupid because we're incapable. You can tell a woman " I hate you" in such a way emotional in which she still hears " I love you". Because they don't hear the words, they hear the emotions behind them.

So you don't have to say ANYTHING, you just have to KNOW what you are and KNOW from within where you stand. Why do you think some people get bullied and some don't? The people that don't get bullied don't have to say to the bully " You better not bully me or i'll kill you" .. They sub communicate that they aren't the one to be bullied based off of the sub communicative mannerisms. They're mannerism and frame is a result of there mentality. They know in their own mind that they will KILL the bully if she tries that shit with them. And women are 10x as intuitive as men, so if a male bully can pick up on this, imagine how easy it is for a woman to.

So what i am saying is.. YOU NEED A MENTALITY SWITCH. You don't pull a 180 with your actions, it'll throw her off and scare her. You begin reconditioning the way you think.. You begin correcting your thoughts little by little until you internalize the frame I spoke above.

Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits becomes our character and our character becomes our destiny. It starts with your thoughts! Your thoughts of her has lead her to believe she can behave this way(because its influenced your frame), and so your NEW thoughts over some time will let her know that she can't.

I have found that this is a tough thing for men to do while they are still in it. Its like asking me how to no longer get wet in a rain storm while its still raining. One would have to be removed from the storm. Which is why I suggested a 2 day break from contact to get your mind together.

If you've never done it, its difficult to understand, but if you take the 2 days like I suggested it'll all begin to make a bit more sense. Its tough to understand something you've never done, but I would just encourage you to take my word for it. I know what i am talking about.

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Yea, you're right. I need a few days to myself.

This is exactly what I mentioned earlier...

It was a possible oneitis for me , I was losing myself, I took 3 days to get my head sorted and it really helped out.

My frame is now a lot different and she is picking up on that 'vibe'.

We met up yesterday and usually she wouldn't 'seem' very keen, I would travel to see her and we would
meet around 8pm. I could always sense a flake coming.

However... this time.... I was in a much better frame. I told her I couldn't get to her so she came to my place and was very keen. Texting me at 5pm saying she could get a train now if I wanted. Obviously I said no and to come later. I definitely did not sense a flake in the slightest.

Thanks to Eddie & RC for invaluable advice.

Yo yo, what up guys?

So I've had a few days to myself, easter holiday's coupled with the ski trip. Great times. Managed to get my head outta my ass at least a little bit.

Anyways, tomorrow I'm headed back homE. We have Monday off, so I was thinking of having a few light back and forths, followed by something along the lines of "I wanna see you tonight. 20:30 good for you?"

What do you guys think? Since I left Friday and we haven't met since last Sunday this seems appropriate. Any suggestions?

have you considered that she may be seeing more than one guy at the same time (just for fun)
and that's why she must flake that much

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Personally I'd call her and see whats up. You don't have to push to see it. Call her, chat with her and just feel out the vibe. As everything smoothens out you can propose a meet. Just take it one minute at a time . Ain't no need to rush this.

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Called out! How can I not reply!

Unfortunately I can't add much. I didn't see the thread till now and my forum brothers have summed this one up well.

I'd simplify the issue for you and suggest a course of action, though - just to toss in my 2 cents.

- Her interest is lukewarm. Accept this
- Read lukewarm interest from a girl as reason to talk to other girls and date them or sleep with them.
- Back off and pursue others, while circling back to this one every once in a while. A jealousy play can't hurt you here.
- Don't want to try and figure out her moods and dumb games? Then DON'T. Stop being so invested. This will only help you.

Good luck, man.

If your "relationship" so far developed through texting, I'd suggest texting in this case instead of calling.

Your idea is fine. Have a fun convo and tell her you want to see her tonight. With those exact words. Make your intentions clear.

Whatever she replies take it at face value and act accordingly.

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