Paying for her shit? Yay or nay.



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 9:35 pm 
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Yeah.. I was simply saying if this is the case " But me being capable doesn't mean I necessarily should. Unless she needs it. And she doesn't. "

And if this is the case " What also makes me feel good is being with a woman that has her shit together herself, and no need of being provided for. Financially. "


It would only make sense to split everything 50-50 if thats your belief. The response given sounded a bit contradictory to those statements. Its almost as if you are saying that you pay because it makes you feel emotional (cheap) not to.. sometimes. She doesn't need it AND you like a woman who can provide for herself.. yet you still pay anyway.

I have a different philosophy and so I tend to just take care of it, but I was just curious about your philosophy.
I know they're contradictory.

I guess my philosophy doesn't boil down to a 50-50 split in finances, but in intentions. I don't care if I pay a $50 dinner and she pays $25 drinks and a $10 ride home, because frankly I couldn't care less about the money. But I do care about her intentions.

PS: Listened to your interview. Enjoyed it. Props.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 9:38 pm 
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I'd say forget about falling into the provider frame, what's more important is that both of you are contributing to the fun equally. You can pay for everything if the chick is cooking you dinners or surprising you with backrubs. Dating with 2 people paying equally = boring. Because it's just about going out and spending money. The provider frame is far less worse to be in that the boring frame. If your contemplating whether to pay at this point, you haven't gotten her to do more than come out, have fun or have sex. Make sure she is doing things to actively please you. Who pays doesn't matter. As long as she is proactively trying to make you happy.
Frankly I don't think equality is boring. I mean obviously I'm not gonna keep tabs but I've been out with specific couples and I swear I've never seen some of these girls reach for their wallet. That is boring to me.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 9:59 pm 
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I'd say forget about falling into the provider frame, what's more important is that both of you are contributing to the fun equally. You can pay for everything if the chick is cooking you dinners or surprising you with backrubs. Dating with 2 people paying equally = boring. Because it's just about going out and spending money. The provider frame is far less worse to be in that the boring frame. If your contemplating whether to pay at this point, you haven't gotten her to do more than come out, have fun or have sex. Make sure she is doing things to actively please you. Who pays doesn't matter. As long as she is proactively trying to make you happy.
Frankly I don't think equality is boring. I mean obviously I'm not gonna keep tabs but I've been out with specific couples and I swear I've never seen some of these girls reach for their wallet. That is boring to me.
Wrote that on my phone so let me clarify. If who pays for the date or how much someone is paying is becoming a question, it's because all that's being given or what you're doing is based around spending money in some way. I guess that's confusing too lol. If she were cooking you dinners or surprising you, would you be worried about who pays? And without things like that, it's more likely things get boring. Equality is not boring, but equality based on who spends money is. What I'm saying is, it's better to challenge her to do something nice for you regardless of money, than to challenge her to pay for drinks. You can stand out from the other guys who bought her attention by going half or letting her pay sometimes...OR...you can stand out better by getting her to do things to win you over/please you. Which makes her value you more? Being the guy who she pays for drinks for, or being the guy she has to plan shit for?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:07 pm 
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I'd say forget about falling into the provider frame, what's more important is that both of you are contributing to the fun equally. You can pay for everything if the chick is cooking you dinners or surprising you with backrubs. Dating with 2 people paying equally = boring. Because it's just about going out and spending money. The provider frame is far less worse to be in that the boring frame. If your contemplating whether to pay at this point, you haven't gotten her to do more than come out, have fun or have sex. Make sure she is doing things to actively please you. Who pays doesn't matter. As long as she is proactively trying to make you happy.
Frankly I don't think equality is boring. I mean obviously I'm not gonna keep tabs but I've been out with specific couples and I swear I've never seen some of these girls reach for their wallet. That is boring to me.
Wrote that on my phone so let me clarify. If who pays for the date or how much someone is paying is becoming a question, it's because all that's being given or what you're doing is based around spending money in some way. I guess that's confusing too lol. If she were cooking you dinners or surprising you, would you be worried about who pays? And without things like that, it's more likely things get boring. Equality is not boring, but equality based on who spends money is. What I'm saying is, it's better to challenge her to do something nice for you regardless of money, than to challenge her to pay for drinks. You can stand out from the other guys who bought her attention by going half or letting her pay sometimes...OR...you can stand out better by getting her to do things to win you over/please you. Which makes her value you more? Being the guy who she pays for drinks for, or being the guy she has to plan shit for?
A'right that makes more sense. But yeah, as I've already said it's not about the money it's about the intentions. I guess that's where equality matters.

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There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


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