Hello all, this is my first time on this site and first time posting. So this post is related to that of the title, it will be a bit long to explain and provide background information. So thank you to anyone actually read it all and can be genuine in some advice.

To lay it all out:

So I have been in living in an apartment complex for a good 2 years now and about 4 to 5 months ago I had to very attractive women move in down the end of the hall. The first day they moved in, I just happened to be walking by and I had my husky off leash whom randomly ran into their apartment; to my amusement it was two extremely attractive women. They are flattered, introduce themselves, and we chat for like 2 minutes.

From here, we would casually say hi and sometimes talk in the halls our outside if we happen to run into each other.

We'll call the girl that I have a crush on (that developed over time Jessica and her roommate Rachel.

Anyways after multiple run ins and small talk conversations over the course of 3 to 4 months I developed a crush on Jessica.

GAUGING INTEREST or is she being nice:

About 6 weeks ago I ran into Jessica at a coffee shop, however I didn't see her there. She saw me and initiated conversation. I ended up sitting next to her and roomie and we talked for about 30 minutes. About 2 weeks later (after seeing her a couple of random times at the apartment building with small talk) we ran into each other at the grocery store. Again I didn't see her and she went out of her way to approach me and initiate a conversation. Foolishly I did not ask for her number or to hang out as I wanted too. So at this point I am thinking maybe she has some kind of interest, she is a teacher, volunteers, and seems very happy go lucky. So I am quite intrigued by her, and at this point feel like I blew 2 good opportunities to ask her out. I am also unsure if she is just being friendly or might have some curiosity...

So about 2 weeks later, almost 2 weeks ago now, I had a few friends visiting. We just happen to be leaving my apt when she was walking by my apt door. Next thing you know she is in my apt, my friends leave because they know she is the girl I have a crush on. We are talking ect. and she seems to be standing really close to me, digging the conversation ect. During this time she noticed I have screw in pull up bar and asks me to help her put one up; because the standard hang up ones don't fit in our apartments. Of course I say yes and she invites me to come check out her apartment. Anyways, my friends are waiting on me, we leave my apartment towards hers, and that's when she realizes my friends are waiting on me and she suggest we check it out another time bc they are waiting. I agree.

So a week later she and roomie knock on my door and ask me to help with the pull up bar. I end up helping and kicking it at their place for about an hour. Didn't ask for her number because I thought it was no the right place or time. SO I told myself next time I saw I was going to ask her to hangout/number. Well next time I saw her 4 days later, I pull up to that apartment building, & she is hanging out with some extremely short ( she is tall) buff guy. Shorter than she is, not trying to hate on short men, but typically it seems taller woman prefer taller men.

Anyways, it is the first time I have ever seen her with another guy around and I think maybe he is a friend & of course I was frustrated at the site because of what I thought may have been indicators of interest and or curiosity. So the next morning see her again, small talk walking down the hallway and we go our separate ways. Just as I was going to ask her to hang out, tell her I am curious about getting to know and that I think she is a beautiful woman. I feel of wave of nervousness swallow me over. Then I realize it's now or maybe too late/never. She tells me to have a good day, then I pause and I say hey Jessica. She pauses, turns around and asks me what's up ? I say hey, do you want to hangout sometime ? She seems caught off guard, maybe even a little nervous, or possibly in an awkward position. She immediately says yeah, I mean we do live just down the hall and are neighbors. ( Her response has me in overthink mode, as I think it might be a play it off for sure, but don;t get any ideas. I say cool, well do you care if I get your number ? She says, yeah, do you have your phone on you ? I say yes, and proceed to get her number, while doing so I say not be weird or anything, and she replies with no, not at all.

I accidentally dial her number and text her saying hey just accidentally dialed you, but this is Joe. She replies with a thumps up emoticon some saying no worries with a a few exclamation points. Telling me to have a good day.

So first question, based on her response to giving me her number is there anyway to indicate actual interest or the possibility of her just being nice ? I should say, that I thought maybe she has interest because she approached me publicly in 2 different places and went out of her way to ask me to go put up her pull up bar ? IF the guy I saw her with was her boyfriend, wouldn;t she have just asked mr macho steroids to put up the pull up bar ? Or what about her roommates boyfriend ? One of them would have been the first one ????



So I think maybe all is well hit her up 3 days later because I was just legit busy with work and school. SO as soon as I had free time i made a move. She doesn;t reply for a good 4 hours and then proceeds to tell me she had a busy day and asks how I am doing. IT was midnight, I was in bed so didn't respond until lunch time the next day. I made a mistake and sent an awkward text replying to her text and saying, yeah I was just hitting you up to see what's up yesterday blah blah blah. Truthfully I was hitting her up to hang out.

Back to the story, I get her number ( last monday) and was legitimately busy with work and school so I didn't hit up until 3 days later when I actually had time. ( which from other things I have read can apparently be frowned upon because women will think you are playing games by waiting so long, which was legit no the case)

SO i text her Thursday around 8pm and ask her what's up, with the intentions of asking her to hang out. She replies to me arond 1145 pm.....Hey!!! I had a really busy day today! How are you ?

I was damn near asleep so I texted her during lunch next day. I replied with something I regret...."Hey there sounds like you had a pretty good day. I was just seeing what's up yesterday"

Yes don't hate i know that was one of the worst replies imaginable and should have been direct in asking her how she was and telling her I was trying to hang out.....

So anyways, that was Friday. She never replied to my text and I haven't seen her since.


Any advice on trying to progress with this ?

1) IF so how do I attempt to get her to want to hang out ?
2) Are there any strategies for trying to date a neighbor that is in such close proximity ?
3) Does her response to when she gave me her number indicate anything ?


My plan was to text her again next week when I have more free time, finals are coming up next week. Or if I saw her again I was going to ask her how she was and joke around with her about how she seemed a little startled when I asked for her number. I was going to tell her something along the lines, like hey, you seemed a little startled when I asked for you number haha. ANyways though, I think we should hang out sometime.....you seem like a really awesome person and I think you are beautiful woman. ( She is amazingly sexy).


I figured saying something like this would let her know where my intentions are at and will either help progress the situation and my goals of taking her out and if she isn;t actually interested it will give her an opportunity to reject me if that is where her head is at.

It would be great to hear some input, Thanks for reading and thanks for any help provided !!!

The recurring theme in your post is basically you pussy-footing it around half assing every one of your decisions.
She approached you twice, which is cool, but did you flirt with her at all? Did you show any interest? Tease her in any way, shape or form? Throw an innuendo? Form a connection?

It never matters whether a woman is being friendly or attracted. Because if you flirt with her, she'll expect you to at some point make a move and there will be no confusion as to what your intentions are. And if she accepts, there will be no confusion as to what her intentions are, either.

From your post, given that she approached you twice, it seems that you're the one that has been "just friendly", and for an extended period of time, too.
No. Don't do it. First of all, "we should hang out sometime" is not a proper date invite. In fact, it's not a date invite at all.
Her seeming "really awesome" has more to do with the ideal that you've created of her, rather than her actual self. And that's simply because, realistically speaking, you barely know her.
Also don't tell women you haven't already slept with that they're beautiful.
Actually, don't compliment at all unless it's genuine. Can you honestly say these compliments are genuine and have absolutely no hidden agenda behind them? Because they do, and she'll know. How could she not? every other guy trying to suck up to her has done it.

If you date her for two months and her views on the world are impressive and something you can appreciate, by all means, compliment on it. But at that point it's earned.

That said, OP, I believe she was interested in you at some point. Not sure if she still is. Because you took a damn long time to make a move and when you did you jumped straight into asking her out, more or less, by showing blunt interest without any previous groundwork that would have supposedly led up to it.

If you straight up ask her out I'm 85% sure she'll find an excuse. You have her number, so use it and flirt with her over text and in person if you happen to bump into each other. Form a connection with this girl, make her want you to ask her out. And if you plan on doing so, do it properly. None of that "wanna hang out sometime?".
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