| The important stuff to focus on are the following...
1. Don't "be in the game". Don't try to get laid. Don't expect any results. The reason why I say this is because you may become desperate and needy if you do, which is not what you want. Try to get all confirmation you need from family and friends. And if it becomes even slightly too obvious that you are trying, the girls will put their legs on their back and run for it.
2. Work on your "inner game" and your social competence. Try to have a relaxed and confident attitude. The best way to learn this is through normal social interaction without any goal in mind, without all this PUA-stuff. Try to learn how to read people and their state of mind, and try to meet them at their level and keep the same energy level as them (called "pacing"). From there, you can learn about "leading", which means that you slowly turn the mood of the group in the direction you want. Try to learn what impression you make when you behave in different ways.
3. Be brave and face all your fears. Expose yourself to all the "dangers" to enlarge your comfort zone. When you realize what you can and can't do, you will become more confident and relaxed. The goal is to be able to do whatever you feel like, without any inhibitions. This will create some attraction.
4. Ignore all models of how attraction works. They are mostly wrong and just make things more complicated than they need to be. It is actually quite easy to see when someone is interested or not, and the only way to spoil attraction is by being boring, weird, desperate and what not.
5. Ignore everything about compliance tests. They are totally useless and can't tell you anything that you can't read from the girl's body language alone. Her body language never lies, and you will "feel" it in your gut if you are on the right track or not.
6. Check out what kino escalation means, but don't focus on it. It is just an IOI and will never create any attraction.
7. Don't blame yourself too much if you don't get the results you want. You are only responsible for your own behavior, not the reactions. So don't try to get everybody's liking. There are tons of stupid people out there who can hurt you, just because they feel bad about themselves. Knowing the limits about what you can take is also an attractive feature.
8. Try to be positive and have fun, and invite people to your reality, instead of forcing yourself onto others. Approaching a girl is like forcing yourself onto her, and interrupt her somehow. That is why you have approach anxiety, because you know this. This is the difference between a good approach and a bad. A good approach is just an invitation, a reason for her to talk to you. If she doesn't want to, never mind.
There is probably much more to write here, but this should be enough.
Last edited by hugge on Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:57 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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