So my ex boyfriend and I had been having some trust issues since I cheated on
him only once about 1 year ago. Ever since after then I have been faithfull and
been acting trustworthy but he still doesn't trust me. So he decided that he
just wanted to be friends and he still feels that way. Because he said he can
never let me go. The thing is, we have been constantly intimate with eachother.
I know for a fact that he's not using me because I know how he is and he's not
that type of guy. Anyway, he said he still has love for me and he doesn't want
to be in a relationship with anyone else because he said I was the one he truly
wanted and I am and always will be his everything and no matter how much I hurt
him, he could never hurt me and he will always love me. He also said if by
chance he does start getting interested or talking to another girl(Which he said
he doesn't even want to happen) he said he will give me the respect and tell me
Because he is trustworthy. But I asked him
if we would ever go out again and he said he doubts it.. so I know our trust
right now is at a state where IF it fully comes back at all it will take a long
time. As for the intimate part (which ends up happening everytime we see
eachother) he said he realizes its wrong for us to be doing this because were
not dating and he wants to stop it. (He also has this mind set where if were
together your mines and no one elses..so not in a controlling way, but in a
loving way) He also said he only reason why he does it because its with the
person he truley loves and because of the sex appeal. But yet he won't kiss me
on the lips anymore.. only the forehead.. I feel like slowly we are becoming
more detached and headed more into the friendzone and I feel like that's
eventually what's going to happen, but everytime I see him, we always end up
becoming intimate.. our relationship isn't just based off that though, we always
like to play videogames and talk, laugh, play fight, and go out p
laces with eachother and have fun. So what I want to know is, what do you think
the road up ahead of us will look like, and what can I or he do to improve what
we have now because we both still love eachother.

Hey there Chakara, let me put my overclocked mind to work which is in truth geared to contemplate political philosophy, and give a senseful reply to this teenage relationship issue. Petty as it might seem at first glance, I know for a fact that teenage relationships can be the seed to turn hearts into flourishing fields or rotten cores.

Guy is full of contradictions. This is odd, since usually it is the girl who is full of contradictions, and requires the man to put her in check. Unfortunately, egalitarian issues have diminished the power of the legal framework to empower the man in doing so. He loves you, you cheated on him, now he distrusts you. He is no longer capable of maintaining (as I understood) an erotic relationship with you, since the issue of your infidelity still troubles his mind. This means he either has to break up and stay friends, or get over it and screw you senseless into a blissful heaven of mutual pleasure. Going by your story he keeps hovering around like some Dante pursuing a distant Beatrice whom he cannot have: "Oh my sweetheart, you are all I will ever feel for, yet I cannot have you, as my romantic soul is distorted and tangent" . . . WTF is up with that. Maybe it's in your best interest to find another guy. Heck, if cheating is (I'm not saying that it is so, merely a hypothetical conjecture) perhaps you should consider hotwifing or cuckoldry. Will give you sexual liberation and loads of guys into that nowadays.

He is some detached poet sitting by your bedside, confessing how much he feels for you, or would feel for you, in an alternative world where you hadn't cheated, holding your hand but refusing to kiss you or go further. And this is a mirage that stretches out infinitely . . . Is this what you want? If not, time to move on.

This guy doesn't have what it takes to be a real man. He wants and the romance and the easy sex (if that's what you mean by saying "things always get intimate", and to have you forever and the pure transcendent ideal image of unstained exclusive love that people had in the Victorian era. His mind is muddled and going by your story I don't see how it could be fixed.

It's like I've been reading some kind of book for the last couple of minutes. So much philosophy to explain something so simple.

You hurt him , he still has feelings but he's afraid of you hurting him again.Thats it.

The thing with trust is that once you've broken it , you can never truly restore it.Its a one-time deal. Yea you can regain it , but never as it was before.

You know how people are when they own a dog and walk it on the street ? at some point some kid will try to pet him. And the owner says :" Go ahead,it won't bite."Well,if that dog does bite once , JUST once , the owner will never be able to trust that it will never bite again , no matter how much time has passed.If he did it once , that means it's 'in his nature' and he might do it again anytime. It's kinda the same thing.


For some people there are specific lines that once crossed , you're beyond the point of no return.If you want to still be with the guy you're gonna have to really work hard on earning his trust.

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