I've been thinking lately, is cheating really "wrong"?

Maybe our notion of exclusivity is not really working, and we should perhaps move beyond singular relationships.

The whole idea of monogamy is idiotic to begin with. Humans are not monogamous creatures. It's in our nature to be attracted to more than 1 woman at a time and monogamy goes directly against our nature.

Cheating can be wrong ,but it also depends on what you call cheating.

Commitment involves a certain responsability. Once commited , your actions don't only affect you any more. So if you have any character , you won't just go around stabbing people in the back.

The basic idea of it is not if cheating is 'right' or 'wrong'.That's not the essence of it.

What it all comes down to is weather your actions hurt someone else. If they do , it's wrong , if they don't , its ok.

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Yea, it all depends on the type of relationship you have and what extent of cheating you do. Is cheating just sex? Or making out? Or flirting?

If the girl makes it very clear to you that she only wants to be with you and asks the same of you in return, and you agree, then you can't rightfully cheat on her without being a total scumbag. But a lot of the time that discussion never gets fully worked out on both sides and is based on assumptions. The girl just assumes the guy is loyal to her eventhough he never agreed to not have sex with someone else. He hides it, naturally, because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. It's not that he's being a sneaky bastard, it's just him being prudent.

Also, the girl might do bad things which then give the guy the right to cheat on her.

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In response to both of you, I can understand why cheating hurts, especially when both parties claim to be exclusive.

I reckon though that cheating is to some extent inevitable, so it's social attitudes on relationship structure that need to change, not cheating being "wrong".

Sex is a natural construct. Formed by God, nature, whatever. Relationships are a human construct that humans have created (much like tools/weapons, etc) to make things work easier. Thus, we (as a culture, as a whole of a species, or as individuals) define what "relationship" is. We can get technical with wording to make ourselves feel more evolved, but we don't get to define what sex is, really. However, cheating is also a human construct, one that only exists in the context of "relationship", which we define. So it comes down to this: "Cheating", however you define it, is always wrong in a "relationship", however you define that. But that's just it; how do you define your relationships and what do BOTH of the people that have invented/created/defined this relationship, define as cheating? Only then can you know what's cheating, and thus what's morally acceptable. Since most people don't sit down and define that kind of stuff when they date somebody, I think, as said earlier, that a good rule of thumb is to ask, "How will these actions be interpreted, or how will the other person in this relationship feel if I do ________?" Does that make sense?

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