Intro/Disclaimer
It seems like this community is advocating sexual openness and a particular view on how men should behave toward women and their own sexuality, while they fail to really understand the bigger picture and the other people around them who are not identical to themselves or the group they belong to(in our case the community). I Decided therefore to write an essay about what has often been reffered to as the matrix. Again this a rather philosophical essay. I do share some insights on evolutionary biology. You might disagree with what I write on this concern, but the main point
of this essay is to illustrate how the
secret society works, why it exists followed with a description
of the members. I hope the discussion will be based on these facts and not the part concerning evolutionary biology, because I have to admit it, I am no expert. Also keep in mind that this is a very abstract text. This is just how I see the world. Your view might be different and I accept this fact. This post is based on an old post by Tyler Durden called "The
Secret Society". You can find a link to the original post here:
http://www.bristollair.com/2008/inner-g ... t-society/
The Sources Of The Secret Society
Morality In Our Society
Our
society is made
of a vast population - people from different backgrounds, values and desires. Groups will be created, then norms and from there constitutions as well. These moral norms have been created with an intention. Sometimes, and even often these intentions are good, but sometime they are made to create order in our
society, without really having a good normative justification. Some
of these moral laws have the purpose
of limiting our primitive nature for the welfare
of the majority. It can be argued whether this solution is a normative good thing or not. However, as a matter
of fact, this is the status quo these days. We have some moral laws that have become somewhat accepted by the majority and thus become conventional. This means that each individual in our
society expects us to follow these “rules”.
Human Nature, Mating And Sexuality
As an example, which this topic is about, is our sexuality and our relationship to the opposite
sex (I am not taking into consideration homosexuality). Human beings require
sex, all off them. It is part
of our survival instincts. Evolutionary biology has ingrained in us a drive to reproduce - to bond with other human beings and have
sex with them. However, the reproduction process is unjust and works like a system
of “survival
of the fittest” which means that some humans will be better off in their search
of mates than other. The explanation is that humans get sexually attracted to people with better genes, such as looks, attitude, and behaviour. Sadly, humans are not equal when it comes to genetics. Some are more attractive than others as some have better genes. The mating game was rather hypergamous. Only the best men would have a female mate and vice versa.
However, things turns out to be even less egalitarian for men than for women. In fact each women have pretty much equal status. Men, still being interested in finding mates
of good genes (especially when it comes to looks) they are still not so dependent
of it. This is because men are more independent when it comes to survival than women. Men are thus less desperate about finding the mate with the perfect genes, but instead have more interests in spreading their genes to as many women as possible in order to guarantee their reproduction and hopefully impregnate one women will good genes. However on the other side, women can only be impregnated by one man at the time, and getting impregnated for a women is not an easy deal. She is stuck for 9 month with pregnancy, and if we consider we lived as the cavemen’s did, which means that no constitutions nor laws were created, but simply allowing our natural instincts ruling, then we can conclude that men have no obligation to raise up the offspring, whereas the women has to do so due to her maternal instincts. Consider that women are also in hurry to reproduce, as the longevity
of her fertilely is limited.
The main point we could take from this is that most men cares more about quantity whereas females more about quality. Women are more selective than men – only the men with the best genes will be attractive to women. This however, creates certain problems that many believe we should not live with in our
society. The problems lies in the fact that a little group
of men, will be extremely attractive to women (often referred to as alpha males – a minority), resulting in the majority
of men, who are less sexually attractive, remain useless (often referred to as beta male – the majority). However, for females, the story is a little different as most women have a chance to find a mate, and the mating game is rather egalitarian – in general the numbers
of mates per females is rather equal. However, for men, it is only this group
of very attractive males that gets all the females. Nature is mean. All humans have a reproductionary instinct, and this instinct is
of a great importance. The problematic occurs when there are males who are not able to find a mate – in fact, this goes for the majority
of men, as most women only seek the most attractive males and therefore only have
sex with males from this small group.
The Introduction Of Monogamy And Equality
Men were able to kill each other in order to gain values, mates and welfare. This is indeed very relevant as we have seen, men are very jealous at other men who are getting a lot
of positive female attention. This has resulted in killings, exclusion and any other means to acquire power. Some ended up victorious, often the strong males, whereas some lost the battle.
As nature is mean, humans have gathered and creating contracts – this is called contractualism. This is when most men, especially the majority whom were the losers
of the battle
of fittest, prioritized security over the freedom
of fighting for their own welfare. Their desire was to introduce a contract that could guarantee each man a level
of security in order to guarantee their belongings. A lot
of positive effects for everybody have been generated this way. We have introduced laws and constitutions that guarantee our security, our belongings while allowing a development
of our
society that has benefited us all. However, not every aspects resulting from these societal contracts have benefitted us all. In fact, on the mating scene, the introduction
of monogamy has taken place to guarantee everybody’s safety on the prize
of his or her freedom. As we have seen, the majority
of men were not the winners in the mating game, and only a small minority
of attractive males (the alpha males), ended up with all the females. Therefore as the genetic weakest men were the majority, they introduced monogamy with the purpose
of making a more egalitarian
society, which guaranteed and secured each man one single mate – for life. This has been amplified by the introduction
of religions (such as Christianity), constitutional laws and conventional moral laws. Marriage was one way
of worshipping this new order.
This way, our
society became egalitarian on the mating scene. The few very attractive men, who were taking all the mates, were now supposed to be more or less equal to any other men, and the men who used to be the loser
of the mating games, are not anymore as big losers as they used to be. This is why the majority
of men not only enjoys monogamy as a chose
of life, which is in their freedom, they also defend the ideal against anyone who challenges it, disagrees with it or simply choose to live differently. Most women are also defending the ideal
of monogamy as this guarantees them perpetual security and provision, for themselves and their offspring.
The Introduction Of Sanctions For Anti-Conventional Behaviour
It is also very important to point out that men were introducing this concept
of monogamy. Therefore in order to control and force women to join their new order
of the mating scene, they had to use rather severe means. The use
of punishment all the way to capital punishment, sanctions, and high use
of shaming have all been introduced in order to make women obey to the rule
of monogamy. The most common type
of sanction was shaming, especially the “slut-shaming” where a woman was judged for having promiscuous activities – these women who practiced the following were often excluded, viewed as incorrect, unclean, sluts, whores… This could ruin the social status
of women, as exclusion could work against their need for security they so much seek. Therefore women have become rather protective and careful about their actions and sexuality.
The Secret Society
However, even though the introduction
of the new order
of monogamy which worked against human nature, did indeed appease it and created some order. However the laws
of nature still remains and biology can only be appeased but no social norms can rule it out. As a matter
of fact, women are still biologically the same, and the most attractive men in the mating game that used to have many options, remains as attractive and will still has the same options. The only big difference is that the conventional views, morals and values that have been introduced with the new order
of monogamous thinking were working against them. As a result, these few men have continued their sexual activities with multiple females. But as these businesses were viewed as rather shady, bad mannered and immoral, they became underground and
secret. A
secret society was thus born.
This
society, which would be more indirectly described as an abstract sub-culture had to remain
secret in order to not awake the anger
of the majority
of men and guarantee the security
of female members – as we just covered, was severely sanctioned for having promiscuous activities. Therefore the membership
of this
society was
secret, with the purpose
of protecting the members from sanctions from the majority. As this
secret society was allowing for “promiscuous” activities to take place, which was usually seen as immoral by the majority (who were outsiders), the members who were practicing these activities inside this
secret society accepted them. Therefore levels
of non-judgementalism became a core element
of this underground movement. The activities who were normally seen as immoral by the public - the outside world, was in the
secret society seen as completely normal and maybe even moral.
Jugementalism inside this “
secret society” would destroy the main values
of it, and result in killing itself from within. Therefore mutual acceptance and respect
of desires were the primary values that kept it alive. As most people, especially females feared the sanctioning from having promiscuous activity, these people had no choice than to behave like the rest in public. But behind closed doors, reality was completely different. The members, who again contained a majority
of females and a minority
of men, who were the most sexually attractive, could now be allowed to unleash themselves and let themselves loose. However the member tend to have a “normal” life in public beside their membership
of this underground
society. Most
of them were acting like the rest – publicly defending monogamy, especially women, as the consequences
of behaving or speaking out against the ideal
of monogamy were severe. Therefore, the female members would act like “well-mannered Madonna’s”, non-promiscuous and hide their true sexuality in public. However, their behaviour was far from reflecting their true self. Their
secret society behaviour, were these were sexually free, had to and undercover, almost non-existent to the public.
As a result, women would only behave like
secret society members – being sexually open, open for promiscuous activities and being honest about their true sexuality only in the presence
of either female members, or in the presence
of the few men who were also members. But as the
secret society remains truly
secret, nobody from the outside would be accepted into it. This means that even if some members gathered, the
secret society would not be revealed if any one from awareness from the outside were taking place. If an outsider were present the member would simply keep acting like they would do in public – behaving according to the conventional moral laws.
The Communication of Membership
Since the minority
of men are members
of the
secret society, women could not risk being open about their membership – they, more than men had to keep their membership very
secret due to the severe punishment, which men was less
of a victim
of – at least to a certain degree. Therefore the men had to reveal their membership to the women in order to allow the female members to express their membership in return. The other way around would not have been possible as if women could risk expressing their membership to men who weren’t members (which is a majority), they would not only have higher risks
of meeting men who would sanction them, but the sanction would be very high. Therefore, men have to reveal their membership first in order to allow women to respond.
The way the male member communicated their membership was by showing signs
of sexual openness and acceptance
of human nature - by understand their own and the women’s sexual nature. This is done by communicating a non-judgemental attitude toward
sex, mutual understanding, communicating an interest in committing promiscuous activities, in other words understanding the purpose
of the
secret society. The purpose as we have seen was to keep promiscuous activities between a regulated group
of people away from the public as these activities had big consequences for them, especially women. When a man has communicated his membership, a woman will communicate hers in response and the rituals could finally take place.
A Sexually Liberated Society To The Rescue Of The Current Order?
Today the idea
of monogamy still lives, yet is challenged as religious influences has decreased, our laws are more liberal as a result
of sciences and awareness
of our own nature. Still, the idea lives strong today but as our awareness
of our
of own sexuality has increased, many have questioned this ideal. Many have been thinking about other ways
of doing playing the mating game that might sound more appealing. An example
of what have been advocated a lot is the idea
of introducing universal polyamory as a replacement to universal monogamy. However, these who advocates this new possibility fails to understand the differences between what works in theory and what works in practice. In fact, there is a reason, as we have covered for why monogamy was introduced and why the ideal is so strong – it is because most men are not attractive on the mating market. The ideals
of monogamy were made to secure the majority
of getting one mate, and keep it forever. With the introduction
of universal polyamory, we re-introduce freedom
of sex – the same problem that was around before monogamy was introduced, that is that the it will favour those few men who are very sexually attractive to females, which is a minority, on the cost
of the majority, the men who are not so attractive on the mating market.
However many have argued for a change in our
society by making it more sexually liberated, where everyone would behave like members
of the
secret society. That monogamy disappears, and polyamory would become the new doxa. That men and women would have
sex with each other without implications and sanctions, no judgement for sexual behaviour. A world were everybody enjoys each other sexually, an egalitarian world where everybody is happy.
Of course, I agree that this ideal
of universal sexual liberty sounds like a positive idea, but it remains a utopia that can’t take place, for multiple reasons. First
of all, it will put things back where it all started – the same minority
of men will get all the females and the majority will be left out without mates. A lot
of conflicts as a result
of the frustration
of the majority
of men who are left behind will take place. There will be no structure on the mating game; resulting in no peace and the
society will stop moving forward. Monogamy and restrictions
of human sexuality was in fact introduced with the purpose
of creating justice, as a response to nature who was acting unjust. Therefore it is practically impossible to introduce this utopia. Also, if we leave out this problem and consider the mating game completely egalitarian (which it is not), then the introduction
of a
society that is completely sexually free will result in the death
of the
secret society, which will remove from the members all the privileges we have gathered. We might sound egoistical, but that is what an attractive male is, and deep inside
of us, we do not want to risk our privileges for the common good, especially when there other solutions that are better such as having universal ideal
of monogamy in our
society, while having a
secret society that remains underground. This way, everyone becomes happy. The males who were usually not attractive on the mate market will now be under control, while they will remain ignorant
of the fact that their woman, who still seeks the most attractive males, will keep having
sex with these males in the context
of a
secret society.
Equality – Making All Men Into Secret Society Members?
Many would argue that all these men, who are not favourable on the mating market, could simply work on themselves and thus become
secret society member on their own. All that is required to make the mating game just and fair was to hope that men would simply work on their beliefs, attitudes and confidence and thus become sexually attractive
secret society member. There are multiple objections to the following. The first one is that not all men are fitted for development – in fact they lack ambitions to do so. They are lazy. Laziness and lacking motivation to pursue any higher goals is one
of the greatest signs
of weakness – which is unattractive to women. These men do not want to get better. On the other hand, we need those men – not everyone can or should become winners.
Of course some men can become more sexually attractive and become
secret society members, simply because the required ambitions, they have the ambitions most men doesn’t have and they are willing to fight for welfare, status and their own well being. This is a rare trait, and even if those men don’t have any success yet, they still have the potentials. That is all that matters.
Keep in mind that looks shows good genetics and is attractive to women, but attitude and confidence is also very important, maybe even more. The good thing is that these things can be handled, and a man can develop himself into a sexually attractive male. He can also better his looks for that instance. Women find men with potentials really attractive as well,
of course less than men who already have success, but if a man wants to succeed and pursue his goals, he will get there. Some men would have to work more than others, but if a man truly seeks victory, victory should follow. But the majority are not among those, they are not willing to change, they are not willing to challenge their beliefs, they are not willing to move away from their misery and these men simply want to be stuck in their weak life. Therefore the idea
of monogamy will remain to exist, because these men will remain the way they are, and would remain “happy” about it.
The Traits Of The Secret Society
However, a man with ambitions and willing to change will not be guaranteed an entrance into the
secret society. Many men do have social success, often when it comes to power, and social values. These things are indeed attractive, but are not
secret society like. These traits are attractive to women, but in a way that is not purely sexual. In fact, women become rather interested in the man’s social values rather than
sex. This makes them rather good providers rather than good lovers, men who are used simply for
sex, the
sex itself. Instead, these men who are good providers, are actually well fitted for monogamy. Women in fact, have nothing against keeping a man for a long time, in a monogamous relationship, as this guarantees her security and welfare. However, they will still seek the best genes and the best
sex. The men who are the most sexually attractive to women are
secret society members. These members are very confident about sexuality, have an attractive attitude and positive mindsets around
sex and women. As we have covered above, any “rituals” that takes place in the
secret society are viewed as taboo, and therefore a man needs to sub-communicate his membership to women in order to allow them to take place.
Therefore a man who wants to become a member
of the
secret society need to have ambitions to challenge themselves and the conventional views about
sex (such as those
of monogamy), to become more confident, to develop an attractive attitude. They also need to learn the rules and the codes
of the
secret society. If they don’t learn the rules, they can’t be accepted as members, as the
secret society is created as an underground movement, with the purpose
of allowing selected members to live out their sexuality in a protected environment, and therefore a lot
of precautions have to be taken – therefore there are a lot
of rules and codes. The first rule is being non-judgemental about
sex – nobody is allowed to judge anyone for their desires and sexuality, people gets judged a lot in
society and the purpose
of the
secret society is to exactly allow activities that the public is judgemental about. Another rule is mutual understanding when it comes to sexuality. The
secret society has been created as a result
of a mutual interests between selected members, therefore understanding each other is a requirement. Other rules could be described as being passionate, adventurous and positive toward
sex, the
secret society was made as a result
of individuals (the selected members) not being satisfied with the conventional practice
of sex.
As the
secret society had to remain
secret, in order to become a member, men have to communicate their membership. If they don’t, they will just be perceived like one
of the rest. They will simply not appear as members in the eyes
of the other members. Therefore a man needs to learn how to communicate their membership. This is often done by sub-communication. Acting non-judgemental, showing mutual understanding, accepting others view on sexuality, being adventurous, displaying a desire to have
sex without any implications (such as following any conventional rituals such as having
sex in the context
of a monogamous relationships) , displaying a desire to experience
sex for the
sex itself, willing to experiment and willing to make
sex happen under the frame
of the
secret society. Basically, it is all about communicating the elements
of the
secret society, it’s purpose and it’s rules. This way, a man can communicate his membership.
Conclusion
Nature is unjust. Some men were very victorious in the mating game got all the female mates, whereas others were left behind. Sadly, only a little minority were victorious in the mating game. As the Majority were the losers, they have gathered together with the hope
of creating an order that would help maintain justice in the mating game. This was done by the introduction
of ideal such as monogamy, putting restrictions on men who had success in the mating game, in order to redistribute an equal share to everybody. However, this went against human nature, and those who used to be successful in the mating game before the introduction
of these new ideals, gathered together into a
secret society, hidden from the outside world, where they could practice activities that were normally disapproved by the public. This
secret society had to remain
secret. Therefore a lot
of codes and rules were introduced. The main elements
of the
secret society was acceptance and mutual understanding, being non-judgemental and having a desire to commit promiscuous activities. While some has advocated the necessity
of reform in our conventional views around
sex, monogamy will remain as it guarantees safety and security for the majority, who, without it would gain big losses. Therefore the
secret society will remain, forever.
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Hope you enjoyed this read.
Comments and questions are welcome.
PS: I might edit this post in the future with the purpose
of spellchecking.
-Teevster
CHAT
