My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago. I did the needy clingy begging crap. She rejected me. She rebounded a few days later.

After two weeks of grieving, I started to move on. I traveled a lot and took pictures, I go out almost every night with different friends, and focused on my inner game. We both see each other once a week due to an after school club that I run and she attends (that's how we met.) During these meetings, I didn't acknowledge her and I even brought a few of my new lady friends to some of the meetings.

It's been exactly one month since the breakup and a few days ago, she broke no contact. She messaged me about school and how she's freaking out over an assignment. I gave her short answers. She thanked me, I didn't reply.

A few hours ago, she messaged me again:

"I'm sorry, I just needed to make this joke."

Sends picture of a drink with my name and the can says "New Recipe" (I share the name of a popular milk drink)

"I guess this makes you a changed man."

I didn't respond to her. Since it was facebook, I left her on "seen." How should I go about this now? Push pull?

Bizarre to me you'd want to 'game' an ex.

If you want her attention you got it but FFS be up front with your intentions. Polarize by telling her you'd like to meet for coffee, but also make it very clear your intentions are to work on a relationship otherwise if she just wants you to hold onto an attachment you're wasting your time and energy.

If she goes silent again, fuck it, just proof it'd be a waste of your time and for you to continue living your life the way you have been. At least this sets the frame if she does contact you again after. If she says "just friends", well at least you know now. If she agrees to your requests, in other words wants the same she'll be on board with meeting you.

I hope a lot of guys read your post, especially the ones who show up and try to get the ex's back. This is the blueprint. The OP went out and did his thing, enjoyed his life, and demonstrated that he was an attractive man. He didn't have to say a word to her to do that. He didn't have to plot and manipulate her to being back in his life. She's making this decision on her own. This is a beautiful thing to read.

OP, I personally wouldn't express any types of intention at this moment (she's an ex and I wouldn't recommend a relationship at all if she was the one that left you). She is investing right now. If you are interested, don't show disinterest...but let her do the chasing. If she wants to meet up then agree to it, but allow her to be the one to initiate things.

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Also not needing her permission/looking to her to say its over to move on.

I agree with Jack entirely.

You're doing good OP. But I suggest you actually do keep moving on. She's your ex for a reason. Your life is improving. Don't drag yourself back into the shitstorm.

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I ve not waited such kind of post when i ve read the title. Bro well done. You should be example for others who wants their exes back. You ve proven that you are worthy man, so my 2 cents are, if you have better option do not play this game, just erase her from everywhere and keep moving on.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

This,

Ex's are Ex's for a reason. Remember?

I'd fuck her one more time, then leave her an 'upper decker' on the way out. But that's just me.

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I disagree with seeing the victory in her reaching out to you tbh. She broke up with you to be single or whatever reason... Her rebound fucked her and left and now that she feels like shit maybe she wants you back or just some attention. The victory I see is you moving on... Not her reaching out because if she had found what she wanted out there she won't care what was going on with you now. It's just a sign she made a bet and lost. She's an ex and if you have moved on she can't give you or take anything else away from you. I don't know why she broke up with you but if you get back with her or care what she thinks you haven't moved on.

Where are you reading she had a "rebound"? Just as possible she's been alone the past bit and wanted to reach out, for whatever reason (some attention, connection etc).

A LOT of women remain alone for long periods of time, in spite of getting approached often the experienced ones realize most of the options are shit. It's like fishing in a stagnant pond - even though its filled with lots of fish,the vast majority of them are tainted. Quantity doesn't always trump quality, and this applies most of the time.

He said she rebounded a few days after breaking up.

It's like if someone quits a job and a month later they come back. It's not really that they've seen their old company in a better light... They just couldn't find anything better. If Google had hired them they'd still be gone. That's what I'm getting at. Don't get back with ex's and when they come back its more their alternative didn't work out like they were hoping.

Ok. I'd completely missed that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling her coming back a victory. I'm saying how he handled himself is a victory. We just keep getting these posts by guys, like dicemaster and amunt, trying to get their ex's back and they are adamant in their stance that there must be something that they can do to get them. There absolutely is something that they can do, and the OP did it and there she is. He was not focused on what she was doing wrong, how she was acting, or needing revenge. He recovered in a healthy way and his ex noticing that is just a byproduct of that.

Like I said, I don't recommend that you don't take ex's back because if they left you once then they'll leave you again and for a lesser reason. Also, like R.C said, they're ex's for a reason.

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He was simply owning the "Reality Distortion Field" , created in his absence.

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To update, since she was joking about chocolate milk, I replied a few hours later to see if she really was reaching out to me.

Her- "Seems like you're a changed man."

Me- "Yeah, richer and more delicious."

Shockingly... no reply. Until a few more hours later. "Cool!"

A one word response. I was at work when she replied, and I had nothing better to think about, so I thought about it for awhile. "She's reaching out to me. Why? That joke was extremely inappropriate too. She broke up with me because I "changed." She's an awkward person, and she never starts conversations. A one word answer... obviously her panties won't drop after one reply..."

Those thoughts gave me hope. Then I snapped back into reality. "She could be seeking validation and checking to see if I'm still wrapped around her finger." So I went back to "whatever."

I see her in person tomorrow. If she talks to me, cool, I'll friendzone her. If she doesn't talk to me, cool, I got other things going on in my life. If she talks to me sometime down the road, cool, I'll friendzone her down the road. The point is that there's too much emotional damage for me to take her back now. I took every reason she pointed out during our breakup as a thing to work on. She rebounded so she obviously didn't grow.

If I'm honest with myself and everyone here, yeah, I still care about her a lot. There was once a time where I would've accepted an apology and would've moved on from there. In fact, thinking back towards the first two weeks of this journey, I would've punched the guy I was. I won't lie. I schemed and planned ways to make her jealous and ways to break them up, but that would only push her further away. I wanted time to speed up, and I obsessed with ways of making it happen.

But there came a point where I stopped wanting to be sad, and the only person that dictates that... is me. I filled my time with friends, family, and hobbies. Time magically sped up and so did my healing.

So whatever happens tomorrow won't affect me.

I can go in depth about the whole break up and journey that I went on if that would help out people. It's a long story full of my schemes, plans, relapses, and eventual healing.

If only more people could understand this simple concept.

And yes OP, you can be certain she's seeking emotional validation.

Keep moving on. You'll be a better man.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.