hi guys, its my first post on these forums i have been snooping around on here for awhile, anyway heers my problem.

in the summer i worked at a bar and there was this chick there who i saw every now and then who worked in the resturant well nothing ever realy happend but anyway i went out last night and she grabbed me there "both slightly pissed" but she seemed really interested in me, i just played the game which i have to say was my first night of doing so (so im fairly chuffed at the minute, opend quite a few sets) anyway long story short i got her number but heres the problem she wants me to come to her work to see her later today. now i dont wanna seem like im being to needy by seeing her again so early but i also dont want her to think i wont show up.

i think i fucked it up when i said yeh alright to go back to work to see her any advice would be greatly appreciated.

btw once you get over that first approach anxiety it realy isn't all that bad. never thought i would do it tbh i though i was too much of a pussy anyway rant over.

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oh rite

ok i decided to go cinema with some mates and i just sent her a txt basically saying i have better things to do than to go see her at work and told her that i was going to the cinemar and stuff, but now im completly stuck so i need your help. so she sent me a txt saying "i realy wanted to see that film im so jealous, is it gd?xx "

now im telling you i aint been doing this long so im a typical afc so could sombody give me some tips on what to do next?

cheers

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oh rite

Embrace the opportunity if she's worth it. But reinforce the impression that you're a busy guy with places to go. Tell her that you have stuff to do but that you are able to meet up, have fun and take it from there.

When I was sarging my previous girlfriend when we met, we planned to go to the cinema for our first meet, but I thought that was too predictable. So when I met her that night, I simply told her that I wanted us to talk and get to know each other rather than sit in silence and watch a movie. We planned the movie for the second meet, but I said the same thing then and we never got to watch the movie. It was important for me to start screening her from the get-go. It conveyed an aura of confidence and gave me ample opportunity to DHV and EV. It paid off because I f-closed her a few days later.

Good luck anyway.

That is good that you didnt go see her. Just dont be a dick by saying that you ahve better things to do. Just let her know that you are busy, and if you can get a chance that you will stop by, but it will only be for a moment cause you do have things to take care of.

With you text responses you should be building comfort to set up for a meet. Maybe something like for your response. "The movie was good. Meet me for a cup of coffee tomorrow @ 7:30 so I can spoil the ending for you. =)" It sounded like she wanted to see u. so now take control and set up the time to hook up.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

thanks alot guys. is there a too long of a period to text her back? because i have actually got a busy schedule which can be a pain.

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oh rite

If she's texting you back relatively quickly (half an hour to an hour), then you can be quite flexible and text her back in the space of a couple of hours if you so wish. I read a good post about not texting her back as quickly as she texts you back (can't remember who that was. Sorry!) which is a good indicator. By the same token, you want to replenish her state of attraction and comfort now and again. Leaving text messages days apart is unadvisable because she will forget the feeling as to why she is attracted to you.

I'm going through something similar with a girl I met last week. It's been tricky because we've been freezing each other out. That's the deal with texting. I don't think you have that problem though. It looks like you have a good edge.

If she is getting back to you quickly, freeze her out for a few hours but send the message that same day. If she is taking longer to respond (3 hours or more), you need to top that at least. If she texts you in the evening (9-10pm for example), consider texting in the morning.

Let us know how you get on.

what if i say this? or somthing eles?

your going to have to meet me for a cup of coffee so I can spoil the ending for you. =)

would this keep her interested? for another day or two because i really cant get to see her tommorrow or tuesday so im fucked for telling her where to meet. thursday is the earliest time really

any other options would be great. ah life is bloody complicated

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oh rite

Its not bad. I like my original post better only for the simple fact is that you are deciding when and where. It keeps you more in control, with your post she gets to kind of decide. If you have a busy schedule you hae to set the time and date anyway.

Try and fit her in your schedule for only like a quick 30-45 minute date if at all possible. Just make it quick and easy. Its better that you control the time and place to meet and when the date ends. A quick date where you dont linger for too long shows that you are different form other guys show just want to cling on to the girl for the rest of the day and night.

She would probably appreciate being fit in to your schedule and then maybe you can set up a longer date for that Thursday. It just depends on how both of you schedules work out.

Good Luck, hope this helps.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

cheers guys i set a date and she replied fairly quickly, but if everything goes well do i bother asking her out again while im still on that date? iv heard thats a bad thing to do. any views?

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oh rite

As long as its gone well, securing the next meet up on that particular night is inconsequential in my opinion. By that time, you should have flipped many of her switches on to the point where she will want to see you again - she may even ask you about meeting up again. If she does, or you want to broach that subject, frame it in a context whereby a) you found her an interesting person to interact with and b) you will be willing to take time out of your busy schedule to enjoy her presence even further. Say something like "I've found your presence tonight to be very intriguing and I had a lot of fun as well, which I see as an interesting combination. Listen, I've got a lot on lately but it would be good to relax like this again and talk more about ????(mention something you discussed)". This has worked fine for me thus far. It screens her even more and makes you appear selective and interesting.

Pretty much what's been said, good job not going to see her, try not to insult her with the "better things to do", better to say you're busy. I would've said maybe we'll hang out after your shift if you want to see me so much or something.

once you have agreed to meet up does this mean the attraction stage is done and comfort begins?

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oh rite

I'm fairly new to this but I thought that each time you see her you should remind her of why she should be attrated to you. Therefore I reckon run attraction for a little while each time you see her before going into comfort again.

Good work so far tho

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“There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.” -Tom Krause

I structure day 2's by picking up where I left off. I know the attraction is already there. Running openers is not high on my agenda. I intiate kino from the get-go and elicit values as quicky as possible. The topic begins with a little fluff talk (how was my day?; what have I been up?), which can open doorsto DHV and remind her as to why she is attracted to you. But from here, you can elicit further information from her. She might tell you about her day, but you can then go on from here into comfort-style questions (what things does she like to do to make her happy). No matter what she says, you can always draw interesting commonalities from this (whatever she likes to do, you can bring in something about your life which you can use to understand her passions in life). You can say she sounds quite passionate when talking about whatever she likes to do, and that you know full well that level of enthusiasm with the things you like to do. This will develop a good commonality of experience and generate comfort quite easily, all within the first few minutes of your meet.

Let us know how your meet goes dude.

what's going on guys...i think this is an interesting scenerio. I think a month ago I would have agreed to what everyone says about not visiting her at work, but I have been implimenting some newer styles...what do you think of this idea:

She approached you, so you already know she is attracted to you. you got her number and probably built up some comfort at the bar. Now she wants you to come visit her at work, and i would assume you want to see her if you like her. If she is being complient and showing interest, I think it would be alright to see her at work, at least for a few minutes. reward her a little bit for what she has done. She is being proactive about wanting to see you, and reward that by seeing her, instead of "punishing" her by telling her your too busy. Also, at the beginning stages, it is good to see them often, to build a good base relationship.

And if your on your first date....it's alright to just talk about a second "date." But i wouldn't make it sound so official. find out what interests she has that are similar to yours, then make tenative plans for the next week. If i have spent enough time with her already, i'd be thinking..."how am i going to get her back to my house" and i'd have things planned out for that. clean the house, chill some wine. make sure i have some candles. Generally, if you have spent 4-7 hours with her, you should be fine to move into the seduction phase. So bring her over and watch a boring movie (so you guys can entertain eachother) or put on some music.

Well that is my thoughts...and in all reality, if you're having fun then fuck it, go with it. good luck brother!

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The Bachelor's Code by Tyler. Check it out...
http://www.thebachelorscode.com/