Having a horrible time meeting women at this stage of my life. I'm 30, just moved back to my hometown, all my friends from back in high school either moved away or I've distanced myself because they are bad news (no wingmen basically)...I'm tired of wasting my time and money on online dating. I get plenty of dates online but the ones I'm attracted to it never works out and a majority of the time they just don't meet my standards (they are high which is a huge problem of mine)...basically at this point I have to resort to cold approaching but 1. I never ever have a girl show any interest-no eye contact, no smiling and 2. They never put themselves in my orbit to be approached...basically I feel like I'm completely invisible and maybe I am since I'm only 5'6 and average-maybe slightly muscular to some standards.

So, that being said, if I see a women I'm attracted to but was given no IOI's, is it still acceptable to approach or will they think it's really weird and super random? I'm talking about day game and not necessarily bars since I try to avoid that scene altogether anymore (I find the bar scene solo very boring)?

If you do cold approach what do you say to them? Another problem is I can never think of anything of substance to say other than "you're gorgeous, want to go out sometime?" I'm horrible at small talk especially when I meet someone for the first time-takes me time to loosen up...wouldn't say I'm shy, just never know what to say haha. Haven't done any cold approaching in years since I talk myself out of it unless alcohol is in the mix.

Any help is greatly appreciated! I'm frustrated I'm at this age and doing horrible at the dating scene!

Hit the gym, get a haircut, buy some new rags. (Ask a girl to help with this.)

Read this post.

approaching-and-opening/list-openers-vt ... it=openers

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Guys that struggle with things to say are mostly guys with no standards beyond the physical. When you know what you want in a woman, you can easily have long conversations with women figuring out whether or not they are what you're looking for. You can base your conversation around your standards and confidently qualify them to see if they meet them.

When beauty is all your after your conversation will be just as shallow as what you're after.

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Eddie, I know what you're saying, but what I meant was I suck when it comes to small talk with people in general especially when I meet someone for the first time...not necessarily just women, really anyone especially if they are a bit reserved themselves. I feel like the only things I can come up with are lame things to talk about. That's partly why I'm hesitant to ever approach because I'm thinking *** do I say? Maybe I'm thinking about it way too hard ahead of time. Who knows.

Your standards are to high and you can't hold a conversation. If you can change either one of those things then you'll be just fine.

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She's actually going to see it as ballsy and confident. And the thing with confidence is that confidence on a guy is like a very nice rack on a woman - super attractive.

One of the biggest misconceptions guys have about approaching women is that a girl has to show some sort of
interest.

One of the biggest AHA moments for me was to realise that women get interested in a guy AFTER he engages
her, while guys get interested in a girl BEFORE she talks to him. Reason for that is we guys are attracted to
good looks, and women are attracted to CONFIDENCE.

So you want to ENGAGE women in a conversation no matter if they're showing any interest or not. It doesn't matter.

Your duty as a man is to lead the entire interaction, and not wait for her to give you a "sign".

So you definitely want to develop your ability to start and keep a conversation going, and ask for her number.

If you're experiencing mental blocks or you don't know what to say, I invite you and anyone reading this to
join my test group, where I'm testing a new technique that eliminates that nervousness about starting
a conversation. All the info in my signature.

Wish you best,

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You need to add "self-amusement" to your game bro. It is the reason why you feel that the club & bar scene is boring, and why you run out of shit to say to girls.


"Self-Amusement" consists of things like; free association, word association, guessing game routines, storytelling, cold reads, joking about things that you find funny, playful teasing, dancing, magic tricks, bar games (my personal favorite is tossing popcorn or peanuts up in the air and catching them in my mouth 3 times in a row. I even get the girl in on it to compete with me. They love games like these)


Add some "self-amusement" to your game, and you'll be money with girls as well as dudes - in terms of people viewing you as a cool and fun guy that they want to hang around. Self-amusement gets your foot in the door, as opposed to using only intent without any self-amusement to back it..with the end result of hard blowouts, because you're not adding any value to them in terms of fun. And girls can see you coming a mile away. Self-amusement allows you to go under or around girls' "creeper guy radar" a bit.


Dude there's so much self-amusement material out there that you can use in the field, to never really get bored in bars & clubs. If you rely on girls to make you feel good and amused..there lies the problem. Because girls won't. "You have to be the party" when you approach girls.


-G

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LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!