Ex texting you and trying to make you her friend



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:34 pm 
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So, to cut it short
how do you respond when a girl (ex or girl that rejected you) texts you being friendly (trying to make you her friend), without being beta?
I've seen this question emerge from time to time, but I've never found the answer.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:14 am 
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What do YOU want?

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:25 am 
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Contrary to the normative PUA community advice, I am of the opinion that seducers like us shouldn't burn our bridges with our exes. When they initiate getting friendly, encourage them. Somewhere down the road, they can help you and you can help them too career-wise, financial-wise, or service-wise. They can be angel investors in your business venture. They can refer you solid leads if you're in sales. They can refer you to projects that could enhance your curriculum vitae and so forth.

The only catch is, seducers should have already moved on emotionally from their exes. If not, the trouble is not worth the benefits.

How to encourage them?

1. Mirror or reciprocate their texts or calls. However, always let them text or call you first.

2. Reinforce positive behavior from their end and punish bad behavior through no contact.

3. Always say, "Thank you" everytime they do a nice thing for you. Do it sincerely. Show that you're grateful for what they did for you.

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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:11 am 
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What do YOU want?
It was a general question, but ill give an example

I had an ex contact me few days after we broke up over massage (she didn't want us to do it face to face, no idea why).
I mirrored her and tried to be as distanced and cold as i could, but in one massage i pointed that because of that "breakup over massage" i didn't want her to text me like i am her friend. She seemed to take some offense at that, but she didn't contact me ever since. (which is a good thing because i don't want her as friend)

I asked the question because i wanted to see what you guys usually do in these situations.
Again i am not asking for my specific situation but for some general thoughts and tips on this topic.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:42 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Quote:
So, to cut it short
how do you respond when a girl (ex or girl that rejected you) texts you being friendly (trying to make you her friend), without being beta?
I've seen this question emerge from time to time, but I've never found the answer.
See where it goes without the hopes of trying to get her back. It could be a few things going on here. She could really just want to be your friend. She could be trying to reinitiate things with you under the guise of being a friend. She could simply be looking for attention. If you don't chase her then her actions will more than likely reveal what she wants. You just have to have the mental toughness to ride it out.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:52 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
What do YOU want?
It was a general question, but ill give an example

I had an ex contact me few days after we broke up over massage (she didn't want us to do it face to face, no idea why).
I mirrored her and tried to be as distanced and cold as i could, but in one massage i pointed that because of that "breakup over massage" i didn't want her to text me like i am her friend. She seemed to take some offense at that, but she didn't contact me ever since. (which is a good thing because i don't want her as friend)

I asked the question because i wanted to see what you guys usually do in these situations.
Again i am not asking for my specific situation but for some general thoughts and tips on this topic.
Your question reads just the same as "Some guy I know wants to be my friend, how do I react?" It all about case-by-case. I'm friend with most of the exes I didn't "break up" with (we just ended up living in different countries and I was clear I wouldn't do long distance, so there were no hard feelings). Two of my exes have grudges towards me, but if they'd approach me and say "fuck the past, let's be friends" I'd be all for it. There's only one exe with whom I put a condition on friendship, last time she sent me a friendly message I replied "I'm not resuming any discussion until you apologizes for XYZ."

In short, once they're out of my heart and bed I treat any ex like I treat any girl. She's a good person, I'm ok with her being my friend. She's disrespecting me, I'm calling her out on that and keep my distances. She's on my wanna-fuck list, I flirt with her like I'd do with any other girl.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 6:30 pm 
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There is nothing wrong being a friend to your ex. :)

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 8:18 pm 
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Quote:
So, to cut it short
how do you respond when a girl (ex or girl that rejected you) texts you being friendly (trying to make you her friend), without being beta?
I've seen this question emerge from time to time, but I've never found the answer.
First of all I would left out all the usual beta/alpha shit. And your reply should be that you don't reply at her at all. That's your reply, the silence.

--If you want to get her back: you should not reply to her easily, but disappear for a while. At least a couple of months if something serious happened between you two. If nothing serious happened she's not your ex.

--If you want to forget her: you should not reply to her ever again

When I say disappear I mean from everything, from facebook to instagram, to SPAM. Block her if necessary.

But of course your emotional part will never let you do this. Unless you have really supportive people around you it will be super hard. A break up can be literally compared to a bereavement if your story was particularly intense.


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