To the guys who want their ex back!



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:53 pm 
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I think the Nair in her shampoo was a joke lol.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:12 pm 
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why is it ignoring your ex makes them want you back?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:25 pm 
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The age old question that continues to haunt men. Why do women want what they can't have?

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:29 pm 
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Are you trying to get your ex back?
Are you sick of people telling you to move on, because they just don't understand how special your ex was!? You simply can't even imagine being with another girl? It's painful to even refer to this girl as your EX?


Guess what, you're exactly the same as about 60% of guys that join this forum. Your ex isn't anything special (compared to other women) believe me. You know deep down that your ex wasn't as amazing as you're making her out to be. But as humans, we're naturally attracted to that which retreats from us.

Do you know how to make something more valuable? Make it scarce.
The reason I've made that bold is because I want to make 2 points on it:

1.) Your ex only seems so much more special than she did, because you're getting so much less of her attention and affection. Can you not understand how quickly the novelty will wear off and your attraction to her will dissipate when you get her back?

2.) Knowing what you know above, why are you still too scared to make yourself scarce? Why are you still reassuring your ex that you'll always love her, and you're the one for her? That's just communicating that she can come back to you at any time, if her other options don't work out - you're being her safety net! It's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear! so for the final time, make yourself scarce!

Stop being so selfish, and date other women. Unfollow your ex (and hide her posts) on all social media websites. Delete your ex's number. Either she'll get in touch and you can arrange a date (in the evening, not a coffee date, not with your ex) or somebody better will come along and you won't care.

Do you REALLY think we don't understand your situation? Every single guy trying to get his ex back has said the same as you. I've been in your position about 5 times now, each girl was "different" and "this PUA stuff wouldn't work on a girl like her" lol. I finally decided to man up, and it changed my life. We don't tell you to forget her and move on just because we can't be bothered to help you. We tell you because it's the quickest way to get over her, but it just so happens that it's the most likely way to get her back.

In the meantime you should be focusing on improving every area of your life! Here are some tips on how to stop being such a pussy, and be the guy you deserve to be:

Build some muscle - working out makes you happier, scientifically proven and shit.

Take up a new hobby/get back to an old one - maybe you always wanted to learn how to play the drums? Maybe you even did, but you just haven't had the time for a while... get back to it! Why not do something you love?

Give yourself a makeover - I mean go all out. Whiten your teeth, buy a new wardrobe full of clothes, fix your hairstyle. Watch how much your confidence rockets.

Go for a promotion - this one isn't always possible, but why not? It's always possible to work hard, even if a promotion isn't on the cards. It'll keep you distracted during the boring part of your days.

Go out and meet new women!!!! - No excuses, stop being a pussy. I don't want to hear any crap about how you're "not ready". You're a grown man so act like one. Bang 5 girls and tell me your ex still seems as special, I dare you!

TL;DR: Stop being a pussy. The strongest negotiating position is to be able to walk away and mean it, so move the f*ck on and be the guy that you deserve to be, for other women.
This is a great piece. I think it will help someone I know with such a problem.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 11:51 pm 
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why is it ignoring your ex makes them want you back?
It's not ignoring them. It's just not needing them, giving them time to appreciate you while you're not around. If you had no access to water for a year, I'm sure you'd appreciate it when you got it back.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 11:55 pm 
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So even though you want them back now, the best way to get them back to is to get away from them, then you might meet someone else and not want them?


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:49 am 
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So even though you want them back now, the best way to get them back to is to get away from them, then you might meet someone else and not want them?

Repeat this and keep it with you for the rest of your life.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:14 am 
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So even though you want them back now, the best way to get them back to is to get away from them, then you might meet someone else and not want them?

Repeat this and keep it with you for the rest of your life.
This.

I got dumped like 3 years ago and I was crushed. The funny thing is, I'm completely over it now - she actually reached out to "tell me off" for getting so hot since we broke up. Lost her chance, lol. But the reason I've mentioned this is because, her main orbiter is still chasing her after almost 5 years, getting his heart broken on almost a daily basis. As soon as we broke up, he decided he hated me for no reason and was a complete prick, so instead of reacting I just took a step back and watched him buy her a PS4, try to bribe her with the offer of buying her a car if she gives him a chance, and plenty of other disgustingly needy failed attempts. He used to drive her to come and see me, for fucks sake (this is about a 350 mile trip for him, lol. I considered him a friend and didn't really consider his motives at the time)

Don't be him, is what I'm trying to say.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:18 pm 
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It's just hard finding that mindset right away


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 7:41 am 
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Quote:
It's just hard finding that mindset right away

Yea, it is. That's such a good thing, no?

Allow me to explain...

Most guys don't even know to do anything other than chase because they've been raised and conditioned to believe this shit from extreme rom-com conditioning or lack of a father figure or whatever else...
Then you've got the 25% that know that shit doesn't work, they know moving on is the way to go but they get confused and think it's about "playing hard to get" in an attempt to trick their ex back; this is needy, reaction seeking, manipulative, Mystery Method, futile, time wasting behaviour that never leads to anything other than pain... eventually - they know this, but they also know that it's hard to find the right mindset, and after being dumped they feel too weak to even try anything hard, so they just cave.

THEY don't bother.

Luckily, YOU are not THEM... you're in the <5% that have had enough of the bullshit, and you've realised that you're worth AT LEAST what you want. Well, I hope so... you seem better than them, because you're here and you're not asking for permission to reach out to her for hundreds of bullshit reasons.

6 months from now you'll get a notification that somebody else commented on this thread, and you'll either think "ha! Look how far I've come! I'll tell that guy to do the same thing, cause I'm SO over that shit - crazy how what was once a huge problem is now nothing to me!" ...OR you'll think "meh, this shit doesn't work. I'll tell them, to save their time" ...it all depends on how much action you take based on what you've read.

Man, I don't know why I feel so generous today.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:23 pm 
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Well. My girlfriend of a year broke up with me just over a month ago. Her reason? "I see you more as a friend and I don't know what my feelings are towards you" despite telling me literally 24 hours earlier that she was "completely in love with me and wanted to spend her life with me"

Now. We worked together for a week after the breakup so no contact wasn't possible, I texted her a couple of times and rang her once. When she left work 3 weeks ago I cut contact and haven't spoken to her since. She hasn't tried to contact me, either.

A week ago I found out she was seeing another guy. According to a mutual friend, he's boring, dull and "buys her things", so classic "safe" beta type guy. This was after she told me she didn't want a relationship or to be seeing anyone. Why do girls always bullshit about that at the end of a breakup?

Anyway. Been on a couple of dates with another girl, made out etc.. I'm slowly getting over my ex, throwing myself into new things, projects etc. But is she even likely to contact me?

I will say, during the relationship I was a bit AFC, telling her I loved her all the time, even asking her to marry me (in a non serious proposal, but afterwards we called each other our "unofficial fiancé", ugh, cringe"

Reading this thread helped me a lot. It seems the two possible outcomes are:

1. She comes back and we get back together
2. I've moved on and it doesn't matter anymore

What do I do if she does decide to message me? is she even likely to, considering shes seeing someone new now? I'm 24, shes 19.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:41 pm 
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Why do girls always bullshit about that at the end of a breakup?
To justify slutty behavior. If you take her back, you've given her permission to do it again.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 7:55 pm 
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Well. My girlfriend of a year broke up with me just over a month ago. Her reason? "I see you more as a friend and I don't know what my feelings are towards you" despite telling me literally 24 hours earlier that she was "completely in love with me and wanted to spend her life with me"

Women live in the moment, but this is shockingly rapid, lol.

Now. We worked together for a week after the breakup so no contact wasn't possible, I texted her a couple of times and rang her once. When she left work 3 weeks ago I cut contact and haven't spoken to her since. She hasn't tried to contact me, either.

Good. Keep it up.

A week ago I found out she was seeing another guy. According to a mutual friend, he's boring, dull and "buys her things", so classic "safe" beta type guy. This was after she told me she didn't want a relationship or to be seeing anyone. Why do girls always bullshit about that at the end of a breakup?

He's been in her mind for a while, sadly. Some women stay in relationships until their next option is ready, out of a fear of being alone.

Anyway. Been on a couple of dates with another girl, made out etc.. I'm slowly getting over my ex, throwing myself into new things, projects etc. But is she even likely to contact me?

Probably not, but it makes little difference; if you don't get her back, you'll have a short time where you're seeing a lot of girls and then you'll find someone better.


I will say, during the relationship I was a bit AFC, telling her I loved her all the time, even asking her to marry me (in a non serious proposal, but afterwards we called each other our "unofficial fiancé", ugh, cringe"

Apart from the proposal sounding like something you did purely out of a fear of being alone, it doesn't sound horrifically bad.. but not great.

Reading this thread helped me a lot. It seems the two possible outcomes are:

1. She comes back and we get back together
2. I've moved on and it doesn't matter anymore


YES!


What do I do if she does decide to message me? is she even likely to, considering shes seeing someone new now? I'm 24, shes 19.
Tell her you're glad to hear from her, ask what her schedule is like because you'd love to see her; either set a date if you get a yes, or politely tell her to call you if she changes her mind if you get anything else.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 9:34 pm 
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Quote:
Well. My girlfriend of a year broke up with me just over a month ago. Her reason? "I see you more as a friend and I don't know what my feelings are towards you" despite telling me literally 24 hours earlier that she was "completely in love with me and wanted to spend her life with me"

Women live in the moment, but this is shockingly rapid, lol.

Now. We worked together for a week after the breakup so no contact wasn't possible, I texted her a couple of times and rang her once. When she left work 3 weeks ago I cut contact and haven't spoken to her since. She hasn't tried to contact me, either.

Good. Keep it up.

A week ago I found out she was seeing another guy. According to a mutual friend, he's boring, dull and "buys her things", so classic "safe" beta type guy. This was after she told me she didn't want a relationship or to be seeing anyone. Why do girls always bullshit about that at the end of a breakup?

He's been in her mind for a while, sadly. Some women stay in relationships until their next option is ready, out of a fear of being alone.

Anyway. Been on a couple of dates with another girl, made out etc.. I'm slowly getting over my ex, throwing myself into new things, projects etc. But is she even likely to contact me?

Probably not, but it makes little difference; if you don't get her back, you'll have a short time where you're seeing a lot of girls and then you'll find someone better.


I will say, during the relationship I was a bit AFC, telling her I loved her all the time, even asking her to marry me (in a non serious proposal, but afterwards we called each other our "unofficial fiancé", ugh, cringe"

Apart from the proposal sounding like something you did purely out of a fear of being alone, it doesn't sound horrifically bad.. but not great.

Reading this thread helped me a lot. It seems the two possible outcomes are:

1. She comes back and we get back together
2. I've moved on and it doesn't matter anymore


YES!


What do I do if she does decide to message me? is she even likely to, considering shes seeing someone new now? I'm 24, shes 19.
Tell her you're glad to hear from her, ask what her schedule is like because you'd love to see her; either set a date if you get a yes, or politely tell her to call you if she changes her mind if you get anything else.
Thanks for the reply - Comforting to know I'm doing the right thing. Despite the constant urge to message her I'm not going to, I know her reply wont be how I see it playing out in my head and it'll just mess things up even more.

Bloody women, man!


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:07 pm 
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It kills me how women are, they change change on a dime, I put a halo on my ex after breakup...got to remember all the times she pissed me off and how irritating she was at times... what else is wierd is how the way they look changes as much as their feelings, sometimes they look hot other times not so much...


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