| Hey what's up guys? I've recently been reading about buddism/zen and it's main point is "mindfulness" which is basically ...although not 100% consistantly, but have the ability to only focus on the present and dismiss unimportant/unbenefical thoughts...even simple things as small tasks as "what am i going to do after class?". The idea (of what i've interpreted) is that although you obviously have to plan your day so you don't sit around doing nothing, but the ability to not obsess. This strikes hard with me because as i've previously stated, i've stuttered since age 4.
What i believe to be the cause of stuttering is that every time i open my mouth to speak, my subconscious immediately flashes images of past failures/embarressments whilst stuttering, and the fear of not wanting to mimic that makes my chest/throat/vocal cords very tense while constant thoughts of "don't stutter or you'll fuck it up like last time" bounce around in my mind. But for some odd reason, i dwell on my negative experiences ten-fold and more than my positives/successes.
I think this can be very helpful to EVERYONE because we ALL have our insecurities, constant thorn(s) in the mind. By having the ability to (atleast for the most part) ....live in the present which i MUST add is so fucking beautiful and interesting when really taking notice...., and that past grievances ....once reflected upon(you learn from your mistakes) ..should go out the window because you will be living breath by breath...not in the past.
I personally am trying to incorperate this as i walk to class..for example...try and feel every pore on my body(head to toe)...watching the trees sway...the breaze ...the fresh air your breathing in, etc.
But since my insecurity involves social interactions, it's very difficult to be "mindful" of the present when i'm probably 70% thinking about whether i'm going to stutter or not and 30% of the actual interaction taking place.
Although i can't truly say i vouche as it's taken a big effect on me because i can't say "i'm a new man" ..but the philosophical concept makes sense to me and seems logical ....and as we know, our beliefs are very powerful and take form. If you think your a waste of space, you will act that way. If you believe there's a god, you will be convinced your invisible friend is real.
Now my question ON mindfulness...does anyone know if mindfulness if properly attained and practiced throughout the day.. every day, ..wouldn't that allow you to see NO limits, women included =P.
Thanksfor reading.
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CHAT
