Hey guys,

So, a little while back. I asked for a little help with my ex, and I've received some awesome help. And first, I want to thank everyone who's taken the time to reply and offer help.

Now, I just want update whats going on. Maybe someone may learn from this in the future? I don't know

So, about 5-6 weeks ago. I invited my ex to come with me to this "steam fair". She love's old, "cute" things. Like old carnivals with the light bulbs and the red and yellow colours.

She came to mine, I made her a quick lunch. And we actually ended up hugging on my bed as we spoke, and caught up. She looked, and smelt amazingly. Full make up, I even suggested for her to wear this "playsuit" thing the day before, where she even said maybe at the time. She put her head on my lap, with her hand on my thigh as we spoke. Then we moved up the bed with her head on my shoulders. Still talking.

We then left to go to the fair, she got there and she absolutely loved it. I asked how the day went, and She rated the day like a 9/10, if it wasnt for the heat.

We went on this ghost train, and she seemed to be hugging close to me during it. I won her a few bears, made a fool of myself at the coconut thing which made her laugh. But I made up for it at this shooting range thing. I bought her a slushie, which she offered to share, even fed me some of the ice. She held my hand (very, very loosely) for barely a minute at one point. We shared some good laughs. We were originally meant to go back to mine, watch a few movies and just relax. But she said she had a headache from the sun, (she's not very active, she doesn't go outside, shes a vegan and hates the sun. I know her really well, I'm pretty sure she wasn't lying about it).

So, two weeks after, she went on this course with her school which lasted 4 weeks. During the time, she's been extremely busy and tired. And she has messaged first multiple times saying that she's sorry that she hasnt got back to me. But only 2-3 times during her time away. And we barely spoke during the 4 weeks, excluding the small conversations about her being sorry for not getting back.

Now, I'm actually kinda scared of talking to her. She always has managed to bring me down to earth, I could be the bravest, most badass guy in the world (im not, far from that actually) but just seeing her smile would make me start babbling like an idiot! aha!

Yesterday, I sent her a good reminder text of this time we camped at her aunts house near the beach. And it started raining and it just flooded our entire tent! At the time, it was funny. and a fond memory. We last spoke about 2 days before I sent this.



If anyone can give me some tips or hints. Their thoughts of whether I'm making progress, or their thoughts of what I should do next would be absolutely bad ass! I would really appreciate it

Many thanks

Ryan

Ugh, I hate to sound cynical but I don't think she's really feeling things, least not like you are. As another poster said a girl will move mountains to be with you, and if this were even to rekindle something she's putting minimal to no effort.

I am not getting a good feeling about this, at all.

You had her on your bed and didn't escalate. This is where you grab the back of her neck and kiss her passionately and not be the nice guy, but rather the guy who makes her cum hard.

Then you went to the fair and became the queen's court jester.

I smell major, major pedalestization (lol) here, which put her on the fence.

Don't do anything for a week. If she texts you, set a meet up ASAP:

Her: Hi
You: Bar X, 10pm.

Don't send endless texts, or long texts. Be the decisive LEADER you were NOT the night on the bed.

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This.

And seriously stop acting like her gay friend, you have a penis and she has a vagina.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Alright, how would I escalate it? From hugging to kissing and up from there??

Just to everyone does know, we're fairly young. I was her first sexual relationship, she's extremely shy with affection.

And I'm extremely new to this. I've never really went after someone before, my girlfriends have always started speaking to me first and going out their way to talk and see me.

This girl means alot to me, I'm crazy about her. And I know I shouldnt "put the pussy on the pedestal" sort of thing. I just need some help with all this. I obviously have alot to learn.

Also, she still sleeps with this teddy bear I got her when we were together.

I'll be honest, I wanted to make her laugh, so that was what I thought would be best to prioritise on. I guess there's alot for me to learn.

Is that *really* what you wanted from her? Figure out the truth, and then be congruent with that truth.

Women dislike the nice-guy-hiding-his-intentions route. It's weak, and women who are of high value (hot, witty) will see right through it and friend zone you.

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They like nice guys, but nice guy who knows what he wants and who's confident.

We should finally drop this asshole vs nice guy thing.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

I think that's a fair point. It doesn't have to be to extremes, I only use that for contrast purposes.

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.