Makes sense.

However, it does appear you got hung up on what this guy spent, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here.

I agree with you, it does feel cheap. However, "cheap" is irrelevant to a great connection with another person. You either have it or you do not. What he spends or doesn't has no effect on that.

If you were truly attracted to that man, you wouldn't have posted here about his cheapness, you'd be happy if he bought you the shittiest champagne at the corner liquor store.

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The reason I say this whole charade is because I've seen scenarios where one man is cheapo with one girl, but then goes with another and showers her with romantic dinners. So then I can't help but come with the conclusion, well, I guess he didn't thinks she was that worthy to spend his money and effort.

I don't understand why that matters this early on though.

Shouldn't the emphasis be on determining if there's a good connection? Things like banter, laughter, sexual attraction, etc.

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You see me asking for dating advice here? I dare you to find one post where I'm struggling for a date. I'm here to help guys get success as well.

I have said in this thread and others, its ok to pay for a first date. But when you say:
You brought it to paying FOR a chick. IE Prostitution.

Now, the guy you dated. He's a social retard for promising a certain dinner and then giving you spaghetti. ALOT of his actions were just awkward. So fine, you werent turned on by him. But when you say shit like "pay to play" and "you wont get that free"....you embarass yourself by sounding like someone to be purchased.

There is a BIG difference between not being attracted to a cheap, socially awkward guy, and seeing yourself as something that a guy has to PAY for your company.

And when you crossed that line, thats when I had to call it what it was.

Effort and interest does not equal the amount of money you spend on someone.

All this Victoria secret cook clean great personality bs, what did you bring to the table to feel so entitled? What do you show a guy to make him even want to put in effort? Did you do something nice for him? Did you cook a meal for him? Cause all I see is 4 dates where he's working and you're just receiving, no matter how small, something beats nothing. You sound like exactly the type of woman I just told DJ to stop dating if they're seeing their time as something to be paid for. Cause truth is, if you were really amazing, he'd probably actually try harder. Maybe next time, drop the entitlement and show him a glimpse of all these things that you think he should work for. A really amazing girl would have told him when he offered those wine and desert etc, "No you dont need to do all that." You soaked it up and got disappointed when he didnt, which is your right for being tricked, but a really good woman, wouldnt let me cook a big dinner for her like that. Guys like when the girl offers to pay, they dont like when the girl feels entitled to things. And sure this guy was a lame, but he dodged a bullet not getting with someone who was completely fine having him cook everything she wanted

Call me crazy, but an amazing girl to me tells me "No, lets just do something simple"...not "YES...Go ahead...Get the lobster and the creme brule and the rosotto!"

Question for you:

If you landed a date with a billionaire and he just treated you to a few casual drinks in a trendy local bar (He paid) - Would you think he is a scum bag for doing that?

It seems to me that you put expectations and judge these guys on their occupation lol. Which is a problem on your part, don't you think?

It's like you expect the billionaire to take you to a private island or something. If I was a billionaire, I'd purposely do a few neutral casual drinks. Not because I'm being a cheapskate, but more to test what kind the person you are.

My reason for being on this forum?

I was bad with women but now I have no problems with girls and I am paying it forward by helping people. If you would actually take the time to go through the forum, you will see it's more of a self-help ethos.

p.s. You're obviously exaggerating with the water and noodles thing. You have a set bar that men have to reach to impress you which makes you exaggerate IMO.

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Didnt read all thread, but I have two questions...

I set a date with a girl who likes to pay her bills, and I forget it was end of month(a cultural thing, nobody have money on end of month). So, she said "I want, but is end of the month". So, I didnt offer to pay, because I think in that situation will be "trying too hard". I did right or I should offer to pay?

Second, when a girl like above mentions temporary financial problems(and I know it is true, again like the scenario above), I offer to pay?

You should create your own thread.

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This thread has gone well beyond the level of mental retardation to the point of no return.

A real good woman? You've got to be kidding me.
If she's such a real good woman, you wouldn't have any issues cooking up a great meal for her.

I have NEVER EVER told him to get the lobster, creme brulee and risotto. Where does it say I have? NEVER. Why are you making things up now just to prove your point about me?

A REAL woman wouldn't have waited 1 hour, told him the meal was good, thanks, and then politely declined his invite next time he called.

Most women would have ignored his calls, period.

He really did serve me water and noodles.

I would never expect a private island date. Drinks is fine with me.

But I would most likely decline the date because I do not feel comfortable going out with someone out of my socioeconomic class.

Like, in every reply, you are taking things out of context to fit your agenda of 'logic'.

I say buy the girl a drink, you're screaming prostitution. It seems you have a sense of entitlement- a real good woman wouldn't allow me to cook dinner like that. Why not? Because you're time and effort is too precious? God forbid you give beyond your 50% share in love.

Fine with having him cook everything she wanted? HE OFFERED. HE SUGGESTED things. It was HIS idea.

Dodged a bullet? This dude doesn't get chicks, from the looks of it.

OP, if it bothered you so much, why didn't you call him out on it? Nobody here can give you a concrete answer as we cannot infer the details behind your date's rationale either. Maybe he doesn't have money. Maybe he forgot about the promises (or thought they were jokes). Maybe he's a social retard. Next time, tease the dude (call him out on it)... it's a way to be light hearted but at the same time get an answer.

No, it's best to just let it be.

I think he's a combination of all of the above you mentioned.

Yeah, better to complain about people's behavior to everybody except the guy who's doing it.

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Okay, maybe you have a point there.