Hey guys, I'm a 26 Y/O male who is trying to improve his ability to progress, and most importantly, talk to women. I'm an attractive guy, but I've never been close to anyone.. not even my own family. Since I was too afraid to talk to people for, looking back, seemingly no reason, I was always really quiet and reserved. Now, at 26, my choices have cost me a lot of opportunities. I've slept with 9 women total, and out of those women (some of which I dated), my longest relationship was about 3 months.

Anyways, my friend brought over one of her friends who's very gorgeous and has an awesome, friendly personality. She had been drinking a bit, but she wasn't that drunk and she began hitting on me. I took a few shots with her to get into a comfort zone myself, and we started making out. It lead to some hot sex, 3 times over the course of ~8 hours, and then she had to go. I got her number before she left. The sex, I felt, was good for both of us.

I messaged her that day, she replied back, and I replied once more to which she didn't reply. Looking at my messages, I seemed a little desperate or needy (telling her we should go out to eat together sometime) but I salvaged it by not contacting her at all for 4 days. I ran into her while out and about and we talked for about 2 minutes then she left. It didn't go bad, but I didn't make any progress. More of a quick conversation of the kind like you'd have with a co-worker. Neither of us have spoken about the sex or anything at all, though I'm pretty sure it was enjoyable for her because I am pretty good at foreplay and oral.

I hit her up about 30 mins after running into her and made a joke about her drinking all of the liquor and how should could make up/reinburse me for the $10 that the liquor cost. We sent 2 messages to one another with her sending the last message.

I didn't message her the next day (yesterday), but I hit her up today and decided I'd try and progress into meeting up for sex.

The conversation went like this, please let me know if I did something wrong or if this is on her. This chick is pretty cool, though she's a couple years older than me. She's gorgeous.

Me: Good morning, beautiful. I tried to visit you last night but the stupid security guard said the zoo was closed til tomorrow.

Her: Lol oh you got jokes

Me: A few, but I didn't tell him any because I was too busy thinking about you.

Her: Lol awe that was kinda sweet

Me: Thanks, when I was born my mom dunked me in a barrel of sugar lol. I was going to invite you over but I'm not sure I could keep my hands to myself. You have no idea how bad I want to taste you..

Her: Mmmm well getting me worked up like that you won't have time to worry about keeping your hands off

Me: Yeah? Is that a threat? If you were here right now I'd take your pants off with my teeth and.. I'll let you finish that sentence with whatever you want. Or, if you'd like to prove you're not just talk then you could come over now.

Her: I would but I'm about to go have lunch with my cousin, after?

Me: Sounds like a plan. Wear something sexy, I'm stiff just thinking about you. I'm going to take it slow and work my way around every curve of your sweet body..

That was roughly 12 hours ago and still no response. Not sure if I should have said something by now. I am not going to message her back, but did my last sent message go too far? I've never talked to a girl like that but I was afraid I'd lose any future chance of getting to bring this girl into my life (for however long, it doesn't matter).

I just want to learn how to attract a girl I think has an awesome personality and see where things go without it ending because of the state of my social skills. I want a chance at a relationship that doesn't fail because of said skills. I'm working on it, but I have a long ways to go.

Thanks for the advice.

You had sex with her but you really don't know her. Her not updating you is flaky, but it doesn't mean that there is no interest.

That being said...you don't know her and your text may make her believe that's all you are only about sex. If she isn't about that, then she probably will lose a little bit of interest. If I were you, I'd dial back the sexual talk until you figure her out a bit more. She'll still have sex with you when you see her.

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Thanks for the fast reply. I appreciate it. Should I just not message her for a day or two, or should I send her a message even though it has been 10 hours?

How should I go about talking to her?

Cancel on her. Tell her you are going to run out for a bit and maybe you guys can meet another time. Reset the whole interaction.

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Cancel on her even though it has been 10 hours ago? I feel like we both know it was canceled, can you give me an example of what you'd say?

Your in-person game worked great. Your texting is awful.

Nice.





Pedestal behavior. And way too soon. The joke sounds canned.

You're acting like the woman here. And the winky face doesn't help. Note her sarcastic indifference, and your fawning.



This first part is try-hard, court jester pleaser mentality. You also sound like you don't get sex, so now you're freaking out that you got some.



Ahhhhh, lol. This made me cringe. Why do you need to convince her? She just fucking told you she wanted to come over after her lunch.

This is how it should have been handled:

Her: I would but I'm about to go have lunch with my cousin, after?

Me: Cool.




All is not lost.

DO NOTHING. She's testing you to see if you're emotionally centered.

Wait for her to contact you. She likes you. Shorten your texts and eliminate the gamey-ness from them.

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Hey man im just gonna tell you like this... from what you've said it seems like you did everything right bro.. Sex 3 times in 8 hrs. didnt hear you mention making her cum which is important of course but not necessarily a deal-breaker. Your text game is on point too bro.. bravo! Bottom line is girls are fickle creatures. No telling what she has going on in her life that may be distracting her. The best advice i can give you is breath... be patient and wait. If she doesnt text you wait a day or so and text her again with a very short not "try hard" text. If she still seems not very interested for what ever reason (and shes a girl so it could be anything under the sun lol) I would just come out and ask her something like "I thought we had a good time together. Are you interested in seeing me again? If not i will leave you alone." Sometimes you just have to have no shame not play any games and just bring a little honesty to the forefront. At least that way you will know what the hell is going on. But usually if you get a sense that they arent being very responsive than they are not interested, because girls who are interested respond like they are! Thats my 2 cents anyway brother... good luck!! Let us know how it goes.

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Damn, I didn't think I had messed up too much until the last text. Alright, so dont message her back until she contacts me. When she does, should I act like she never flaked? Push her away?

Also, what stage do I need to revert to? Building rapport?

FFS you ATE her out after knowing her a whole few hours???? Gotta screen better homeboy, could have caught something.

Dude, chill. She fucked you 3 times in 8 hours. She likes you.

Never, ever call a girl out for flaking this early on (or in general, really). It's one of the weakest things you can do, almost as bad as complaining about not getting sex.

What rapport do you need to build via text? You've fucked her. When she contacts you ask her to hang out. Build your rapport there where you WIN as previously indicated.

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Ok.

1) cancel out on her, as Jack suggested; even if she has no intention on coming over at least you save a bit of face for your own sake - something's come up, whatever just a short vague text nothing more if you're lucky it may generate some bit of intrigue

2) you're demonstrating that you think she's of higher worth than you as Arch implied; lot of text in fact a disproportionate amount more than she's returning, it doesnt matter if you wait a day or so here and there, if she throws a flake of interest your way you're going to do so tenfold back; not a good look

3) you're sound a tad desperate at the end by the drawn-out sexualized texts...for women its more about nuances when it comes to sexuality (unless you're banging them in which case you can tell her "you love it when I smash that tight little pussy of yours my little slut bunny"; LEAD the interaction, that's fine as far as sexualizing things, HOWEVER learn to be more suggestive (let her imagination fill in the blanks, let her yearn, to want to know what's next/have her sitting on the seat of her pants) than overt/direct and u'll get a lot further

4) cut to the chase - you aren't calibrating very well by looking at her behavior. It's clear she's not interested or able in getting into some long winded convo, maybe you are but she isn't so see that and adjust; maybe she's busy, in a hurry somewhere, her mind occupied with other things in her life etc.. Don't make a big deal about it just calibrate, send out an invite, better yet if you actually have interest in her tell her you're taking her some place without giving out the details but make it sound like an adventure, or excursion of sorts, an escape from the mundane


For now just simmer down. Apart from the cancellation text I wouldn't text her again tonight. If you haven't heard from her in the next few days ping her and suss things out from there.

Where do you guys come up with this stuff? She could have just got caught up with her family, on another date, felt like staying home, or any number of other things but people want to always say that they're testing you. It isn't a test.

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He just finished reading The Game.

It's not always on purpose, Jack. They do it subconsciously as well to weed out the beta's.

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Yeah, I ate her out after only a few hours of knowing her and you're right, I should have been more careful because I could have caught something but I didn't and she tasted great and was really clean so I'll consider myself lucky.

Chill, that's easy enough. My problem, I think, is that I was too passive the couple times we talked in person. No kino, even though we had already had sex. I showed no interest because I didn't know how to act.

Ffs, I didn't even tell her that I enjoyed our night together or even talk about the sex we had at all since that night.

To Jack; what would you say to cancel after being 10 hours since we last talked? I feel like we both know it was canceled.

Thanks for the advice so far.