Who should introduce the topic of commitment when in RS ?



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 5:40 pm 
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Girls typically invest once you bang their little pussies hard. Play it cool after, like putting a dish of milk out on your back porch, the cat will always come back for more. Hang out, have fun, fuck her well and if she's not asking where you guys stand shortly after I'd question her desire for a LTR.

If its an LTR you want then I wouldn't be predisposed to not ask her where she stands relationship-wise. Why? You don't want to waste your time with someone who just wants her cake and to be able to eat it too (a relationship w/o commitment).


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 5:50 pm 
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You don't want to waste your time with someone who just wants her cake and to be able to eat it too (a relationship w/o commitment).[/quoute

is the O/P a man or girl. cause now im not sure

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 8:31 pm 
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Girls typically invest once you bang their little pussies hard.
That's a myth.That's not how we emotionally invest. Both men and women invest on the person who makes them think about them all the time.
Sex doesn't create feelings. It is the feeling that the other person is some sort of a prize and is unique in something.

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Play it cool after, like putting a dish of milk out on your back porch, the cat will always come back for more. Hang out, have fun, fuck her well and if she's not asking where you guys stand shortly after I'd question her desire for a LTR.
Maybe you should question on how much she is attracted to you. She might want LTR but with someone else.
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If its an LTR you want then I wouldn't be predisposed to not ask her where she stands relationship-wise. Why? You don't want to waste your time with someone who just wants her cake and to be able to eat it too (a relationship w/o commitment).
Women as a general rule, WANT commitment. If she doesn't want it, then she doesn't want it with you.
If she gets pregnant and wants to keep it (which is the case in most of the times) she will want the man next to her to help her. That's always on the back of the mind of a woman. It is also the reason WHY a woman usually wants commitment. Just in case something like this happens.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 8:39 pm 
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LMAO...So it doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject, as long as it's brought up but at the same time, you'll wait for him to bring it up or you'll label him. I think he comes out ahead with this because he has had a month to get you to invest into him. Although you have him labeled, you still didn't say you'd walk away.
i don't emotionally invest on someone in a months time. Usually my the time mark starts after 3 months.
At my age, people don't really have the talk. They just introduce each other as bf or gf to other people and you get to know their social circle. You usually have the talk when you don't want a normal LTR.
So you actually HAVE to talk about something.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 8:42 pm 
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Women as a general rule, WANT commitment.
Because their instinct tells them that their expiration date is way shorter the a man. Men tend to age like fine wine, while women age more like milk.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:10 pm 
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Girls typically invest once you bang their little pussies hard.
That's a myth.That's not how we emotionally invest. Both men and women invest on the person who makes them think about them all the time.
Sex doesn't create feelings. It is the feeling that the other person is some sort of a prize and is unique in something.
Never did I infer that sex in and of itself was enough for a woman to invest in a guy.
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Play it cool after, like putting a dish of milk out on your back porch, the cat will always come back for more. Hang out, have fun, fuck her well and if she's not asking where you guys stand shortly after I'd question her desire for a LTR.
Maybe you should question on how much she is attracted to you. She might want LTR but with someone else.

If she's spending her time with you, having fun, and you two are hooking up there's no question there is attraction on her end. Saying maybe she wants an LTR with someone else is akin to somebody about to purchase a car they really like, and then inexplicably backing out the sale for a jalopy in spite of the fact that they can afford said car.
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If its an LTR you want then I wouldn't be predisposed to not ask her where she stands relationship-wise. Why? You don't want to waste your time with someone who just wants her cake and to be able to eat it too (a relationship w/o commitment).
Women as a general rule, WANT commitment. If she doesn't want it, then she doesn't want it with you.
If she gets pregnant and wants to keep it (which is the case in most of the times) she will want the man next to her to help her. That's always on the back of the mind of a woman. It is also the reason WHY a woman usually wants commitment. Just in case something like this happens.

Just not in your case, right? I mean going by your Fitness trainer thread. And I'm not doing that to take a dig at you but to illustrate the fact that women enjoy sex equally, if not more so then most men. Sometimes a woman hangs onto a guy till something better comes along. That said she won't be spending most of her time with him, rather creating a bit of distance so most her relationship needs get met whilst keeping some proximity to keep the connection at a more superficial level so its easier to detach.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:13 pm 
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LMAO...So it doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject, as long as it's brought up but at the same time, you'll wait for him to bring it up or you'll label him. I think he comes out ahead with this because he has had a month to get you to invest into him. Although you have him labeled, you still didn't say you'd walk away.
i don't emotionally invest on someone in a months time. Usually my the time mark starts after 3 months.
At my age, people don't really have the talk. They just introduce each other as bf or gf to other people and you get to know their social circle. You usually have the talk when you don't want a normal LTR.
So you actually HAVE to talk about something.
what is your age?

@galist -
Quote:
is the O/P a man or girl. cause now im not sure
What is your guess ?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:14 pm 
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Women as a general rule, WANT commitment.
Because their instinct tells them that their expiration date is way shorter the a man. Men tend to age like fine wine, while women age more like milk.
True. A woman's viability is based on her physical attractiveness (I don't make the rules, that's just how it is). Look at all the sub par looking 30+ women on any dating app, it's like looking at snap shots of a leper colony.

This is why if most men had the means they'd have a constant rotation of young, fertile women at their disposal. Women know at a subconscious level their desirability has a very short window, so when young they tend to be a bit more choosey but as they age they generally settle for someone if they aren't already by then married or in a deeply committed LTR.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:15 pm 
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LMAO...So it doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject, as long as it's brought up but at the same time, you'll wait for him to bring it up or you'll label him. I think he comes out ahead with this because he has had a month to get you to invest into him. Although you have him labeled, you still didn't say you'd walk away.
i don't emotionally invest on someone in a months time. Usually my the time mark starts after 3 months.
At my age, people don't really have the talk. They just introduce each other as bf or gf to other people and you get to know their social circle. You usually have the talk when you don't want a normal LTR.
So you actually HAVE to talk about something.
Seriously? How are you going to even say that with any shred of dignity after your pining-for-Fitness trainer story?
#contradictingstatements


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:22 pm 
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LMAO...So it doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject, as long as it's brought up but at the same time, you'll wait for him to bring it up or you'll label him. I think he comes out ahead with this because he has had a month to get you to invest into him. Although you have him labeled, you still didn't say you'd walk away.
i don't emotionally invest on someone in a months time. Usually my the time mark starts after 3 months.
At my age, people don't really have the talk. They just introduce each other as bf or gf to other people and you get to know their social circle. You usually have the talk when you don't want a normal LTR.
So you actually HAVE to talk about something.
Yeah...but at the same time, you say you purposely date guys that are unattractive, most people don't do that, so it's easy not to inest. If you were to date the kind of guys you like, you'd probably have a different story. I've dated women your age...and the talk happens when they are not certain.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:15 pm 
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I've just tried to do a demo talk (basically talking to myself like schizo person :D :D) where I introduce more serious topic like commitment and LTR, instead of the usual day to day ramble, and it felt very very terrible.
Especially questions like: have you ever though of something more serious going on between us.

It felt very unattractive, wussy like, very weak, and non normal accompanied with a bit tension and anxiety.
Haven't felt like that since I was 15 when I told the school girl that I liked her and if she wants to be exclusive - she of course LJBF-ed me back then.

Since then every-time I try to speak about LTR, commitment and stuff like those I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot big time.

And actually I never did since then (14+ years) I've been with many girls, but haven't got a relationship more than 3 months.

Its like that because usually when I invest a bit more time (communicating and maintaining contact with the girl) - some feelings start to emerge and then something happens that turns her off.

I'll do this demo talk few more times and will try to find a way to be cool and fun and lighthearted and at the same time speak about that serious topic.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:13 am 
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LMAO...So it doesn't matter WHO brings up the subject, as long as it's brought up but at the same time, you'll wait for him to bring it up or you'll label him. I think he comes out ahead with this because he has had a month to get you to invest into him. Although you have him labeled, you still didn't say you'd walk away.
i don't emotionally invest on someone in a months time. Usually my the time mark starts after 3 months.
At my age, people don't really have the talk. They just introduce each other as bf or gf to other people and you get to know their social circle. You usually have the talk when you don't want a normal LTR.
So you actually HAVE to talk about something.
what is your age?

@galist -
Quote:
is the O/P a man or girl. cause now im not sure
What is your guess ?
sure dont sound masculine to me

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If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:08 am 
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know what i apologize for being inconsiderate. we're all here for the reason, to get help from each other and become better. some of us in some situations, will need more help than others.

im sorry

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If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 8:44 am 
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I've just tried to do a demo talk (basically talking to myself like schizo person :D :D)
LOL "You're talking to me? YOU'RE TALKING TO ME???"

Why don't you try something like that (not literally but in the spirit): "Here are my feelings, here is where I'd like this to go. If you got a different idea, I'm cool with that, tell me how you feel about it." Take the initiative, show that you are not ashamed of your feelings, but also that you are ready to move on if what she wants is incompatible with what you want.

Think about it as if you're driving a car and she's a passenger, you're thinking about the best place you want to take the two of you, and you're telling her that you want to go there. If she doesn't like that place, she's free to suggest another one, but if you yourself don't like that other place either, then all you can do is drop her by the next bus stop and leave as good friends.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:12 am 
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LOL "You're talking to me? YOU'RE TALKING TO ME???"
Hahaha exactly - I had forgotten what crazy ideas could come to mind when a man starts feeling something toward beyond sexual attraction toward a woman.
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Why don't you try something like that (not literally but in the spirit): "Here are my feelings, here is where I'd like this to go. If you got a different idea, I'm cool with that, tell me how you feel about it." Take the initiative, show that you are not ashamed of your feelings, but also that you are ready to move on if what she wants is incompatible with what you want.

Think about it as if you're driving a car and she's a passenger, you're thinking about the best place you want to take the two of you, and you're telling her that you want to go there. If she doesn't like that place, she's free to suggest another one, but if you yourself don't like that other place either, then all you can do is drop her by the next bus stop and leave as good friends.
Тhat makes perfect sense. I'll try introduce it in similar fashion.


@galist - its not I'm not masculine, obviously I'm (was) not in my best higher self when posting those threads.
Because when I am (in my best self), I don't go to forums wasting time, but do stuff in real life.

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