Getting in touch with an old friend



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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2016 9:00 pm 
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I did post this on the online sarging, and I realise it was the wrong places, sorry guys.
Quote:
Hi guys,

I was just going to get in touch again with an old (female) friend (and by friend I mean something more than friends) just in aim to start seeing each other again as friends (and by friends, here, I mean FRIENDS, literally (BTW she wants to meet me but wants me to be the one who starts the interaction, I know that for sure)) and thought if you could give me some of your expert advice not to screw this up.

The thing is that we've been talking through a messaging group we have with some friends but it's been a while since we talked in private and she's at the same time willing to meeting me but willing to be a "difficult girl" so she's now in "I'm not talking to you, even I'm dying for you to talk to me" -mode. So before I talk to her I'd like to hear some ideas, I'm sure you may help me a lot.

How could I start the conversation?

As I said I really miss her as a friend.
Thanks guys. :)
Sorry for the respost again. Getting used to the forum. :)
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JackZero
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2016 9:10 pm 
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I have to ask, what's the point? You only want to be her friend and she wants to play games. Do your male friends play games like this? It seems like there's something missing from your story here.

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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2016 9:26 pm 
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Hi Jack. Thanks for the comment.

She's a bit upset because "I don't pay her enough attention", if it was something sexual I wouldn't give it a second chance, but she's a nice person, she's a good friend and she may be right, at some point in our relationship I wasn't there for her (I had some serious personal problem to pay her tons of attention). It's not that I didn't listen to her or something but I was not the perfect "boyfriend" I'd like just to be able to get in touch again with her and build a friendship again, at least be able to talk each other.

Or at least I want to try it, but I'm not sure how to start.
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JackZero
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2016 10:00 pm 
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I used to tell people and girls that I just want to be there friend with more of a motive, so maybe that's just part of my skepticism.

If you want her to be a friend, treat her like one. However you contact your current friends, do the same thing. If you have to think of how to treat her so she'll be your friend, it isn't a real friendship.

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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2016 11:23 pm 
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What makes me hesitate is:

1) I don't usually stay away of my friends for that long.

2) How will she react? In the sense of how I make clear that I just want to start again with her and I want to see her but avoiding her thinking he wants to f*ck me, again I'm not trying to get laid.

I mean if I want to get a drink with a male friend and fix things is: "hey man let's get a beer and talk about this or that" and 99% of times there's no problem, if I tell her that she's going to think immediately "he wants to f*ck me once again".
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JackZero
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2016 11:53 pm 
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Quote:
1) I don't usually stay away of my friends for that long.
Doesn't make a difference if you're trying to have a friendship. You'll have to contact her.
Quote:
2) How will she react? In the sense of how I make clear that I just want to start again with her and I want to see her but avoiding her thinking he wants to f*ck me, again I'm not trying to get laid.
You talk to her like a friend. If you don't act like you want to fuck her she'll figure out that you don't want to fuck her.

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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 1:20 am 
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Do you agree I should go slowly? I mean it's hard to let her see that I just want to be her friend if I directly ask her to go to the cinema.

Btw, did you have luck in yours "I want to be your friend again" routines? Even though they were sligthly different that mines. xD I appreciate your time bud.
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JackZero
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 1:27 am 
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What normally happens if you ask them if they want to hang out, they'll ask why do you want to. Then the response is we're just hanging out as friends. Sometimes they'll say yes and other times it'll be no.

When I used to do it, it hardly ever worked. It's a emotional manipulation and those tend to backfire for me. When I look back on it, I probably made things awkward by my attitude not matching my words.

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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 12:42 pm 
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I think I'll be using something like:

"I just watched the last episode of "The Walking Dead". Do you remember how we used to watch it? It made me think of you". And then just go on with the interaction.

Any comment on that?
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JackZero
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 1:47 pm 
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If that's how you speak to all of your friends, that's fine.

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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 12:06 am 
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Well guys, she responded really well, in fact she has started a conversation, nothing really serious, so it's going well.

Be have a SPAM group besides our private chat and she has asked me to "give them a ride" on my new car, thing that I'll do sooner or later, what she's doing (and she did it when we were more than just friends) was to delay her responses some times, others she answers immediately. Have I to consider ir in some special way?

Thanks guys. :)
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BlueEyed
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 12:10 am 
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Heywood Jablowne asks me in the other topic:
Quote:
You have no desire to fuck her? Really?
I'm starting to wonder it myself.
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