Hi, and welcome to a my very long post. If you read the entire thing it I'm sure you might find some parts of it slightly amusing. There is also an option to read the short summary at the bottom, so if long chatty post bother you, just scroll the freck down and help me anyway. Thank you!
But first some very short background about me. I'm 30 years old, two years ago my longterm relationship ended (5 years). To give you a clue where I'm at skill wise: I do moderately well with women. I'm not overly shy or insecure but my social skills and game need some improvement (but sometimes it works in my favor too – cause I'm funny and quirky and shit).
Any-who... Like two months ago I started using Tinder to get back in the ol' dating game. I got into a very good, deep conversation with a really good-looking girl my own age, and went on a date after a week or so. It was my first real date (I hooked up once before on Tinder). She shows up and is obviously way out of my league. I mean, all girls I dated has been far more beautiful then me (thank god), but she just gave me that "It would be a crime against nature"-feel. Which is a good feeling but, you know, slightly intimidating. I got a bit nervous but tried to play to my strengths by keep developing that deep conversation and relationship we started. So I really failed (or didn't even try) to build any attraction. It still was a fairly good date, the conversation flowed nicely, she laughed a lot. But it was more like two old friends catching up, and she excused herself after little over an hour. When I asked for second date, she said that "she wasn't the right girlfriend for me", but that she would like to hang out as friends, and she showered me with compliments to ease the fall. I figured she used the "hang out as friends" as a nice way of saying "I'm not attracted". So I simply stop writing her. And she didn't write me.
I didn't take it that hard (almost didn't cry at all), rather I found it hopeful there is a chance of finding a genuine connection through Tinder. So I kept on dating. I figured I polish my pick-up game and sexual prowess, so when the next real thing came along, I wouldn't fail. I actually closed every single girl I dated through Tinder which was kind of nice, but you know, also soul-suckingly empty, when there is no real feelings involved. (But so is crying alone in your bed at night – so I still prefer that sweet, casual sexual intercourse).
A week ago or so I had reset my Tinder with a different photo to mine the dating pool once again. Then yesterday, I match with
the girl again. I have obviously swiped right on her again (for whatever obvious reason). And she had right swiped me as well. So I just write like "haha
". And she writes "How are you doing?".
<tl;dr> Summary:
I went on a date with a girl from Tinder. We connected, but I failed to build any attraction. She friend zoned me, I stopped contact. Almost two months later we match again on Tinder. She writes "How are you doing?".
Question:
What the fuck is up with that?
So, she has gone through the shallowness of the Tinder dating, and now realized she want something more substantial and now she wants a big ol' slice of the hot pice of man meat that is Dorian_G? Let's work from that theory then... (if she's really not interested - it doesn't matter what I do anyway, right?).
We did a short catch up-chat, she asked the question, I answered, funny but slightly stand-offish/short. Since I was not sure how to approach this yet (and also on my way to another date).
I figured my main obstacles here is the dreaded friend zone and my own neediness to avoid that, which will add to the reason of me ending up there (are you following?). So what do I do? Do I wait for her to initiate contact again? Do I start a casual, funny conversation again and ask if she want to "tag along" on some fun thing I'm doing (that we both like). Or do I go proactive, and friend zone the shit out of her. Treating her like a friend with some teasing, casual body contact, but without any sexual advances? And make her uncertain about my intention, so she get her shit together and start chasing me instead?
I would like to clarify this is not some form of
that-one-girl-hangup. I just think we had a connecting and would like to give it a fair shoot. ... Again.
CHAT
The date is in 4 hours...