This is a reason why so many guys have a hard time with pickup. They translate just about everything a woman says or does into some kind of test or hoop. She was at work and needed to get the balls out of the pool and didn't want to get wet, so she asked for help. Translating that into setting up hoops is a reach.

The biggest problem with these compliance test theories(compliance tests by women) is that it's not how attraction works between men and women. If a woman is attracted to a man, one of the things that they absolutely would not do is try to set themselves up in a dominate role and instead try to put themselves in the submissive role. It is counterproductive to feminine attractiveness.

She was at work and needed to get the balls out of the pool and didn't want to get wet, so she asked for help.

So where does this leave me?

From a customer..

OP presented himself as an outgoing, friendly guy that was social with all of the lifeguards there. The other lifeguards didn't sound like they were being too professional either. So her asking for help really doesn't sound to surprising given the description of what was going on at the time.

Quick things I believe about myself:
I have great energy
I'm quick witted in conversation and am great at it
I'm attractive and more fit than average (but far from perfect)
I'm intuitive and better than average at detecting social queues and body language

This transpired over the course of about 20 minutes. Me and my boys were in the hot tub at the gym, we have great energy, fun, laughing, talking but respectful and not obnoxious. I caught this cute lifeguard looking at me like twice but paid no attention and kept talking and laughing. After a another couple minutes, the cute lifeguard approached the water with hesitation. Her goal was to get the pool balls out of the water but she didn't want to get wet. She got two of the balls but the others were too deep for her to get without going completely in.

While she was doing this, me and two other lifeguard girls were having a fun conversation about feminism, chivalry and domestic violence. Just an example of the tone of the conversation:

Lifeguard Obstacle: My husband is very chivalrous, he opens doors for me and everything.
Me: Really, where is he from?
Lifeguard Obstacle: He's from the south.
Me: Oh, ok. So he opens doors for you but later that night when you put ham instead of turkey on his sandwich he goes southern wife beater on you.
Lifeguard Obstacle: *laughs* No I don't put the wrong meat on anymore, I've already had two bruised eyes. (kidding obviously, I read her right thankfully)

It wasn't just them, I was having great conversation with other members and my friends. Even a 70 yo guy in the tub with us and some 50 yo indian guy. Kind of disqualifying myself a little as flirting but more so just social and kind.

Basically, there was a lot of social proof, between her co workers, my friends, the other members of wildly varying demographics. We were all shooting the shit having fun talking.

So then, I watched her and cringed playful as she came out of the water (she looked terrified of getting her shorts wet) I told her she needed to negotiate a raise in light of the extra mile she went to get the pool balls.

She laughed and asked if I would get the rest of the balls for her. I told her "maybe, can you arrange a gym membership discount if I do?" She laughed. About five minutes or so later my friends and I got out. She just happened to be next to the mens locker room door.

So I approached her:

tongue in cheek smile on her face as i engaged her


Playfully / lightheartedly engaged her with -
Me: Would it really help you guys if grabbed those balls?
Her: It would be a help for sure
Me: See, I want to help but am a big believer in equal exchange. Don't tell me you can't hook me up, I can tell you have pull around here, I'm sure you're the go-to around here if anyone has a problem.
Her: She laughed and said something like "yea im totally the kingpin roun' these parts but no, nobody has enough pull to get you a membership discount they're too stingey"
Me: Ok, how about I'll grab those balls out of the pool and you can buy me some Qdoba?
Her: (without hesitation and with enthusiasm) Yea ok!
Me: Ok, no shit huh? You're a sweetheart afterall! How would you like to make it happen?
Her: I get off at 9:30 and can be out after that in around 10 minutes.
Me: Ok so I'll just wait right out front?
Her: Yea that sounds perfect!

So.... I waited 30 minutes (because I didn't have a choice, my ride left to Qdoba)
at 10:00 there were still 4 cars left in the parking lot and I didn't see any of the swim personnel leave. So I'm wondering if she had like a meeting or something, or can you guys tell from where I went SO wrong that she needed to lie and then stand me up by leaving through the back door with the whole team?

Not sure what to make of it. My current plan is to not engage her and see what she does. If she comes and apologizes I'll punish her playfully but seriously and forgive but proceed cautiously. If she doesnt come and apologize or explain herself I'll just let go of it and assume she just stood me up.

Thoughts? Thanks again guys, I need some wings really bad though, my friends are either too shy or married. Thanks

This does not make sense with hoop theory, because OP played it correctly according to theory. She threw out a hoop, (after he reapproached her about it), and he threw out a bigger hoop and she complied.

I agree it's not surprising, but that's not the debate here. Debate is whether OP boosted attraction by agreeing to do this or flushed it down the pan.

If it isn't surprising or not part of the debate...why did you bring it up?

Again, I'll point back to what I said. A woman that initially finds a man attractive will not make a man jump through hoops. A woman that finds a man attractive will display submissive qualities. Making him jump through hoops is not a submissive quality.

If you are debating whether it boosted attraction by agreeing or flushed it down the pan, it's an irrelevant debate. If she were attracted to him in the first place then no matter what he would have done in the situation, it wouldn't have been fine with her unless it triggered a negative emotion. If she was not attracted, him not agreeing or not agreeing wouldn't have all of a sudden made him attractive.

It seems you guys think that his decision to get the balls for her was insignificant in affecting the outcome and I'm not sure I agree. That's really the premise of my post. I think he majored on it too much which made it seem like his compliance was an offering in exchange for pussy, and responding the way I suggested (asking for something first) if done playfully could have boosted his profile. I think saying that such a thing is "psycho" is more than a little extreme.

I've noticed twice now that you are putting your perspective in "I think" POV. This scenario is obviously speculation on what could have been done better. In your other scenario with the "I'm a little teapot" song in exchange for changing channels, it's something that you wish that you'd have done. Have you actually done something that made a woman jump through a bigger hoop than she's presented you before you jumped though hers or are these just ideas?

By saying that much I've revealed more about my life than you have in this thread

If your concern is me not revealing myself, I've done so many times.