As the title says, I'm meeting someone on Tinder for the first time. I asked her if she was free to watch a movie next Friday, to which she answered, "Absolutely."

I actually never got this far in online sarging, but as to not make stupid mistakes, any tips on where to go from here? Should I wait for her to get back to me day-of to test her investment in me ? Should I try to bring her back to my place? Etc.

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

She's not on tinder looking for a play date.

What if you don't like her?

After the movie go to a bar. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

That's where the experience comes from.

Speaking of experience, I've heard that movie theaters are generally avoided in the pickup community. You can't really escalate or kino in such a venue; however, the reason why i picked it was because it was neutral territory.
I'd like to manage logistics before meeting up, so should i ask her what she wants to do after the movie through tinder? Or ask her face-to-face after the movie? Should i pick her up or let her bring her own car? i know i got a lot of questions :/

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

The movie theater is by far the worst possible first date ever. This isn't a pickup community thing, this is just in general. You have zero chance to hold a conversation. And god forbid the movie is good, she won't be paying attention to you.

You should have got her to a movie at your house.

It's Tinder, dude.
You're a man. You don't ask her what she wants to do. You lead the way. Don't ask her anything. You already have the night planned.

Pick her up at her house. She doesn't need to bring her own excuse to leave the second she gets nervous.

Dude, it's Tinder. It's "The Hookup App." It's rare that I agree to meet a girl anywhere except my house or her house. Sometimes I'll schedule a meet at the nail salon (to get a manicure with me, I invite her for something I'm already doing) or I'll suggest she meet me at the grocery store, to grocery shop with me (something I'm already doing).

I only go to movies with my (girl)friends. I only take my friends on dates. I hold doors for my friends. I open the passenger door for my friends. The only time I'll every ask what she wants to do next is if it's my friend who isn't expecting me to act alpha all the time. And at the end of the night, my friends and I fuck and cuddle.

But every one of my friends started by me getting them to my house as fast as humanly possible to fuck each other. Some I met on Tinder, some I met while out sarging. Either way I didn't take them on a date until after we established a sexual relationship (but that's my own personal standard, too. Yours may be different than mine).

My *FIRST* date after being single was a nightmare. It was off of POF. I took her to dinner. Terrible idea. I hated her. Everything about her sucked.

A first date coffee date is probably my personal limit. Anything past that I see as a huge waste of time. With a coffee date I can control the situation. Sit and talk for a minute. I get bored easily at coffee shops and it shows, so within ten minutes I almost always say "lets go driving around, this place is fucking boring." Go driving around, talk, make conversation. Me driving gives me something to focus on and makes her involve in the conversation. At some point I'll pull over into a parking lot to just sit back for a minute and talk while sipping coffee. Within no time we make out. From here it's too easy to just drive to my house to "watch a movie."

Neutral territory is great if the girl is trepidatious about meeting. I always test her bravery by suggesting she's going to come to my house, cook dinner, and watch a movie. I gauge her based off of this. If it's overly positive, I set up the date at my house. If it's just kind of whatever, I move forward and see if I can either build comfort or make decisions from there. If she's cold about it, I see about the grocery shopping, or manicure date. If she's cold from there, I next her; she's on Tinder to play games and get matches because she wants to feel better about herself.

Just don't waste your time, man. It's Tinder. Have fun with it. Meet girls. Enjoy yourself. Just don't put these girls on a pedestal with a nice date if you haven't even met them in person.

It's also an app some people claim they don't take seriously. I'm keeping expectations low. If she flakes, then i next her and find some other girl that i won't take to the movies lol

The one thing i kept noticing on tinder was when i was trying to invite a girl over to my place, there was absolutely no compliance at all. The girl was probably thinking, "He's inviting me over to his place, but i'm a slut if i sleep with him despite not knowing a single thing about him."

I think the reason why no one answered is because my place was too high of an investment, so in order for this to work, i'd have to bait the girl with low investment first, then build it up from there.
I was thinking that after the movie (or after we're done with what we were doing), i'd tell her how there's a bar in my basement and i need her help to test some drinks (or some bs excuse).

We also already established how we both play the guitar, so i could show her my signed one. or maybe show her my three dogs. seriously, i have a lot of shit in my house that's worth seeing, but the real problem comes from me 1) bringing a girl to my place and not doing anything and 2) triggering any of her anti-slut defense.
Biggest fear: If the girl is iffy about coming over to my place despite me already driving there. There's 30 miles between our places, so i don't want to make it feel like i'm kidnapping her despite her saying, "No, i wanna go back home, so please drive me back to my place."

I guess this is the part where we're supposed build rapport.

Great post, btw

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

bro in my opinion a movie is a terrible idea for a first date... you can really talk and it can just become really awkward.. ive done it once and i'd never do it again. and ofc you should try get her to come to your place!

_________________
If I post on your thread I am adding my opinion that I have formulated either from experience or others experiences. It is just that though, an opinion and not a fact.

Slay your dragons and let others tell your tales

Awesome news - we're going for coffee instead lol

Despite this positive change, there's still a lot of things i dont know about when it comes to meetups. The only thing i do know, however, is avoid sitting directly across from the girl. It's better to sit next to her instead since this allows for physical touching.

I'm also aware that she's gonna be more nervous than I am, but I gotta man up and take charge. What else is there to think about?

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

Nothing. Just be yourself, have a good time. If thing get stale, bounce to a new venue.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

That's actually a really bad idea lol

"Being yourself" is really a subjective characteristic that varies from person from person and gets interpreted differently from one girl to the next. I already know that I should bring out my "best self."

And "bouncing to another place when things get stale" sounds good. Had I not read this, I probably would've just went out for coffee, drop the girl off at her place, then drive back home alone. I should try to bring her to my place, but how to do it without being awkward or triggering any suspicions is beyond me

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

This is how Cinderella must of felt when the prince was cramming that glass slipper on her hoof.

"I got some new goldfish, you should check them out."

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

horologist covered a lot already but here's some tips from my Tinder and Match experience, I just started using both services about a year ago but when I was going at it 100% over the summer I was going on 3-5 dates a week every week. This started to kill my bank so I chilled out.

I read you switched venues but coffee? Always try for a low key bar, I have several I use that I know the music wont be too loud or the opposite which is a bar with sports games going on which can also kill the mood for her.
You want some place up beat where you can just grab a stool at the bar which will allow you to sit next to her and this for me is when I love to do a palm reading to gauge her interest in me, does she show me her hands or does she lean into me putting her hands in front of me and on mine.

The coffee shop is also a weird place for a girl to be close to you unless you get lucky and walk in and literally the only place to sit is a love seat, otherwise your both going to be in big chairs about 3' apart.

Another thing to look for is a bar that has other bars close by for a venue change. I have a place I love to start at because its bright, trendy and they don't serve any normal beers so that's my excuse after the first beer or 2 to then switch venues to the second bar which is darker, slightly louder music and if its close enough you can convince her to ride in your car and drop her back off.
This subconsciously makes her feel like she is in the girlfriend role already and bonus if you have a decently nice car because it will make her want to be in this role, this is further solidified by walking into the next place together. i will often test on the way in and see if she will hold my hand while walking, does she hold it loosely or tightly and then hang off my arm like a high school girl in love.

Oh and one last BIG BIG BIG thing, IF she offers to pay at the first bar tell her no and say "how about you get the tab next time we go out". Then when switching to the next bar you can suggest she picks up the tab if shes dense but chances are she will suggest it herself. You want to let her pay, this is important because it allows her to invest in you and this is something I have found is very strong for women.
The beauty of this is that by the second bar there is a good chance her tab will be double what you paid and she knows that, so subconsciously she has invested twice as much as you in this relationship at this point.

Absolutely no compliance means something is wrong with your text game. I really can't help you with this. All I can say it to text dozens of people all the time to get a more clear understanding of proper text game. A lot of people here scoff at text game, but I can attest that it's a skill. Here's a conversation I had tonight:

Me: Hey Hottie
Her: Oh hey
Her: Whats up?
Me: SELFIE
Me: Taking a break at work right now, You?
Her: Oh I see, nice & just running some errands
Me: Errands. LIke paying bills or slashing cop car tires? Both would be valid
Her: hahah, more along the lines of the first
Me: haha aw damn and here I thought you were bad. Was gonna say lets go all Bonnie and Clyde, we'll elope at a small Chapel and go running from the cops across the country. Sound good babe?
Her: haha well I couldnt divulge my secrets too soon
Me: hah I knew you were bad
Me: Why are you single
Her: How'd you know
Me: Cause you didn't get all prude and dumb when I said I can be a total animal

(REFERENCE: On tinder I made a comment to how lots of guys get sexual too soon, then said I think it's better to be respectful and that way I can be a wild sexual animal later)

Her: Ohhhh I see. You're intelligent
Me: hah maybe I don't know. Why are you single though
Her: I don't know haha
Me: Hmmmmmm lol
Her: lol why are you?
Me: I'm divorced actually
Her: Ohh I see
Me: Yeah typical right? I'm not most girls cup of tea though that's probably why I'm single
Her: Why do you think that?

WAITED ONE HOUR TO TEXT BACK

Me: I'm kind of a man whore honestly. I'm very up front, I think a lot of girls seem like they want a guy to lie to them saying they want like a relationshiop when really all they want is sex. I just prefer to be honest about who I am, and treat girls the way I want to be treated
Her: I'd rather someone just be up front like you
Me: Yeah? Maybe I am your cup of tea then cutie
Her: Maybe you're my shot of vodka
Me: SMILING SELFIE SHOWING MY SLEEVE TATTOOS
Her: You're hot
Me: glad you think so :p
Her: Just being honest
Me: That one pic of you, you look pretty fucking hot as well (referring to the one pic she has on Tinder, I said this to insinuate I want more pictures)
Her: Well thank you
Her: SUPER FUCKING HOT SEDUCTIVE SELFIE
Me: MEME OF A BABY SEAL AND THE WORDS "I'd hit it!"
Her: ahaha
Me: When's the last time you were with a man
Her: New years
Me: Damn that's a while. I couldn't do it
Her: It is haha
Me: I'd be insanely frustrated. I need rough sex like I need air. (NOTICE I SAID "ROUGH SEX," NOT "SEX")
Her: Oh you like it rough?
Me: Of course. I love it.
Her: Me too
Me: HALF NAKED SELFIE IN THE MIRROR
Me: Showing you my tattoos
Her: oh woww;)
Me: Thought you'd like that ya lil perv :p
Her: you were so right
Me: Hoping I get out of work early. I wanna go play pool, You like pool?
Her: I never play it much haha
Me: It's so much fun I love it. Ill bet you'd look pretty fucking hot bent over a pool table. Maybe we shouldn't play together I might lose control of myself (TAKE NOTE OF HOW I MAKE HER FEEL DESIRED BY ANIMALISTIC URGE TO FUCK)
Her: Orrr, maybe we should then
Me: Maybe so, if that happens I may just take you out to the car and fuck you until you can barely move
Her: Hmmm. I wouldn't mind that
Me: Ever had a fwb before? Or just relationships and one night stands? (NOTICE I SAID ONE NIGHT STANDS, I AM IMPLYING TO HER THAT I KNOW HER SECRETS AND I'M ON THE SAME LEVEL)
Her: I'm not really into relationships that much to be honest (SHE'S TELLING ME SHE WANTS TO FUCK ME WITH NO STRINGS)
Me: I'm not either. I could never be monogamous ever again. New sex is too much fun to tie yourself down
Her: Most defff.
Me: Let me see some more of you I dont even know what you look like past your face and well manicured eyebrows (I WANT TO MAKE SURE SHES NOT HIDING FAT)
Her: Hahaa okay
Her: FUCKING SUPER HOT SELFIE, SKINNY GIRL, TIGHT STOMACH
Me: Jeez... (THIS IS IMPORTANT. WHEN SHE SENDS A PICTURE YOU LOVE, GIVE AN INTENSE RESPONSE THAT IS SHORT, AND CAN BE TAKEN AS GOOD OR BAD. THIS WILL MAKE HER HEART SINK, WANTING YOUR APPROVAL)
Her: Good or bad?? (I LOVED HOW SHE SAW THE INTENTION OF WHAT I SAID)
Me: Very good. Your cleavage is making my cock a little hard and I'm at work. You're killing me here (I SAID A LITTLE BECAUSE I WANTED MORE PICTURES WITHOUT ASKING, TELLING HER IM AT WORK SO SHE CAN TRY TO "EMBARRASS" AT WORK BY CONTROLLING MY COCK, IT WORKS HALF THE TIME, DIDNT WORK THIS TIME)
Her: Oooo
Me: :p
Her: ;p (SHE'S GOOD AT THIS GAME)
Me: I suppose I should send you a dick pic
Me: FAKE DICK PIC, A DRAWING OF A DICK THAT SAYS "ANOTHER DICK PIC", ME HOLDING IT NEAR MY JEANS
Her: Hahah
Me: Have any kids? (I ASK THIS SO I CAN BRING UP THAT I HAVE A VASECTOMY
Her: Nope (UGH, SHE'S TOUGH. USUALLY THEY SAY "NO, YOU?")
Me: Good. I have a vasectomy. I definitely don't want anymore
Her: That's understandable lol
Me: Right
Me: Ever met anyone off tinder before (I NEED TO KNOW HOW BRAVE SHE IS)
Her: Nope I've only had it 5 days haha
Me: Oh okay. Usually girls who haven't met anyone online before are all touchy and scared and shit. Makes sense though (I'M LETTING HER KNOW THAT I DISAPPROVE OF GIRLS WHO WON'T STEP OUTSIDE THEIR SHELL)
Me: I met my stripper roommate on there. (I AM PRE-SELECTED BY WOMEN)
Her: Oh that's awesome!
Me: lol yeah (I HAVE VALUE, YOU NEED TO STEP UP YOUR CONVERSATION SKILLS)
Her: Mhmm (I'M A HOT FEMALE, I'M GOING TO SHIT TEST YOU THROUGH TEXT TO SEE IF YOU BUDGE)
Me: Uh huh (I WILL PASS YOUR TEST, DIPSHIT)
Her: (I CAN CHANGE IT UP)
Me: :p (I CAN GO ON LIKE THIS FOREVER, I DON'T NEED YOU, I AM PRE-SELECTED BY FEMALES, I LIVE WITH A STRIPPER, REMEMBER?)
Her: What time are you off lol (YOU ARE A MAN. I MAY WANT TO FUCK YOU TONIGHT)
Me: Usually like midnight. What's your normal bedtime
Her: I usually stay up late but I'll probably sleep soon tonight (I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THAT I GO TO BED EARLY TO SEE IF YOU BEG ME TO COME OVER SO I CAN TELL YOU NO)
Me: Hmm if we talk a little more maybe we should have a sleepover sometime soon. Netflix and "chill" (NOTICE I SAY "IF," AND "MAYBE," AND I PUT A QUOTATION AROUND "CHILL." POKING FUN AT OUR NEW SOCIAL JOKE)
Her: I see that "chill" in quotations (GOOD GIRL!)
Me: Yeah I prefer to "Chill" for about an hour until we're chilled the fuck out and sweating, then shower, then cuddle then netflix (I'M TELLING HER WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO. I AM AN ANIMAL, BUT I NEED TO CUDDLE, WHICH IS TRUE)
Her: I like how that sounds (OF COURSE SHE DOES!)
Me: Good. I don't like pump and dumps (I'M GETTING REAL WITH HER. I WANT HER TO KNOW THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS FILTHY TALK, I AM ACTUALLY A NICE PERSON)
Her: Same here
Me: If I decide to fuck a girl I'd like it to be worth my time. I'm sure you feel the same way. (YES, I DECIDE BECAUSE I AM OF HIGH VALUE AND PRE-SELECTED BY WOMEN, STRIPPERS WHO LIVE WITH ME, I AM A MAN WHORE. MY TIME IS VALUABLE FOR OTHER GIRLS, MAYBE YOU CAN WIN SOME TIME. AND I WANT YOU TO IDENTIFY WITH ME BY MAKING THE NATURAL ASSUMPTION THAT YOU FEEL THE WAY I DO, WHICH I WANT YOU TO AGREE WITH)
Her: I do. (UGGHH)
Me: Perfect (I CAN SHORT ANSWER TOO, ASSHOLE)
Her: Yes (JESUS CHRIST...)
Me: SHIRTLESS SELFIE IN THE MIRROR
Her: So fucking sexy
Me: Thanks cutie
Her: No problem
Me: Finally off work, naked shower time (I NEVER SAY I'M TAKING A SHOWER, I ALWAYS SAY I'M GETTING NAKED AND TAKING A SHOWER. VISUALIZE ME NAKED IN THE SHOWER, THANK YOU)
Her: Oh nice

TWO HOURS LATER

Me: Haha yeah
Her: How was your shower lol
Me: haha it was good. didn't you say you're going to bed early?
Her: I was planning on it lol
Me: lol Your plan failed miserably
Me: Stop playing with yourself and go to sleep, perv (I'M DONE WITH YOU FOR THE NIGHT, I DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW)
Her: Ahaha

ONE HOUR LATER

Me: Night owl (I SEND A FINAL SHORT TEXT THAT WAY SHE HAS SOMETHING TO RESPOND TO TOMORROW WHEN SHE WAKES UP)

This is it. Improve your text game with these girls and you'll get all the compliance you want. And when you don't get compliance, you'll find another one to get compliance with.

horologist is right, over time your text game will increase naturally as you see what does and does not work BUT it can only increase so far without learning from others and actually wanting to improve and not letting your dick and heart respond for you.

I realized after I started learning about this whole world (about 8 months after I started using Tinder and match) how many previous situations I totally fucked up and shit the bed on. Of course its not good to dwell on the past but if your just starting out and your here then your already a step ahead of me when I started dating again.

The being up front about sex doesn't work with every girl but I think most people would be surprised on how many it does work with. Right now that's all I'm looking for because I'm moving soon so I put that out there and here is an example of what I woke up to this morning as I was literally wiping the sleep from my eyes and you can see my short could give a fuck less response of "sure" to her question.

Thanks to everyone who posted on this thread. I feel like I learned a lot just from reading all your experiences; however, reading these messages isn't going to work if I don't step out of my comfort zone. I doubt I'm gonna see the girl, and even if we don't meet, my time's very valuable and shouldn't be wasted on those who flake. (I'm keeping that "alpha" state-of-mind.)

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

You're right, reading those messages won't work if you don't practice it.

A guy I work with, when he was showing me how he likes to game through text (and he's really fucking good at it, too), always said "I go completely fucking overboard then back off a little. 10 steps forward, 1 step back!" And he's right.

When I first got single, I handed him my phone when having trouble with this one girl. Ten minutes later he handed my phone back with naked pictures of her.

Step outside of your comfort zone, make it totally clear what you want, and if they don't conform, drop them and move on. It's Tinder.