This is a question about re-using the game i guess. So about a year ago i met this girl at my work who was in a relationship with her BF for 3+ years so also had a daughter (not by him). We got along great anyway i fell in love with her, i told her but she said she didn't feel the same but over time we got closer and closer. Then we kissed and she got scared because she was in a stable home with her daughter (which i couldn't provide) and said she couldn't go any further even though she said she cared about more than i'll ever know.

So me being the dumb nice guy said i'll respect ur decision and backed off even though we still texted on and off it's been about 6 months she really wants to be friends and meet up and talk etc. my question is this: can that be turned around into a relationship again? or in a woman's head will there always be barriers in this situation?

Once a frame is set, it's set. Move on.

And never compromise your wants for hers (as in, she wants to hang out and act like friends only knowing you want more).

Move on. You'll only get more hurt. Flush the number.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

I disagree with the whole once a frame is set, it's set...

Girls that kiss you but express that they want to back off for logical reasons but still want to be around you are not being honest. She was expressing a concern and what she was feeling at that specific moment.

Act like you did before all of this happened and she will fall back in line. Emotions are more powerful than logic.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

This is the OP's first post and hes asking about one of two topics the moderates have specified not to ask:

"how do I get this one girl back?"

The first response was the correct one, flush the number and move on, the worst thing that could happen is your wishful strategy is actually successful, and you end up fucking with this girl again when you need to moveing on to other prospects. Difficult girls remain difficult.

How is this difficult?

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Agree'd. Relationships are always changing.

I have to admit though, if a girl has seen you as a friend for many, many years. It is going to be very hard to change that... but it is possible.
Sorry mate, but you just don't fuck with girls like this anyway. Never mind fall in love with them. Your biggest sticking point to come out of this is nothing to do with getting this girl, it is that you need to re-evaluate your standards.

Isn't one of the fundamental principles of pick-up to abandon the ideas of trying to win their girl(s) back, not to mention 99% of posters here allude to date as many, as much girls you can and never to limit yourself of having one "special" girl.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

It's more understanding the situation that you're in. If the girl was showing no interest, then of course you move on. The girl that OP is talking about shows interest and her objection was OP's place in life. Emotional vs. logical. Now she's trying to keep him in her life. It's not because she can't find friends...it's because she wants him.

This time when she tries to appeal to him logically, he acts on her emotional side.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

[/quote]It's more understanding the situation that you're in. If the girl was showing no interest, then of course you move on. The girl that OP is talking about shows interest and her objection was OP's place in life. Emotional vs. logical. Now she's trying to keep him in her life. It's not because she can't find friends...it's because she wants him.

This time when she tries to appeal to him logically, he acts on her emotional side.[/quote]

Interesting. I wasn't really into the the game back then but even though she swears she only saw me as a friend back when we met, she definitely gave me lots of IOI's whether that was because she was just comfortable with me i don't know.

You can re-frame.

I blew it with a girl (I've posted about her here) by being too emotional/needy last year. She hit me up two days ago.

The key is to allow about three months to "reset" the weak behavior, then come in strong. They usually forget until you fuck up again.

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Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Stop bro.

That wasn't her saying " You can't provide a stable home" that was a polite and ration way of her saying " Lets just be friends". Everything about the behavior you claimed to display before, during, and after ward is complete reflection of the behavior that every guy that ends up on in the friend zone on this forum displays. Drop it and let it go man. You're giving her your time, attention, and validation (what she wants), all while being denied any of the things that you actually want from her. Those are just things you are giving her in hopes that she'll give you what you want.

She's sucking you dry, and giving you nothing in return, and you're still crossing your fingers and keeping an open mind. The fact that you still even want this girl is a bit troubling. And holding onto her the way you are will keep you in position mentally from being able to attract a woman of equal value or better that can make you just as happy. You can't steal second base unless you take your foot of first.

What you want is companionship, not exactly this girl. And that companionship can be had from a number of different sources, but you won't see that unless you cut ties and let go of this girl. Grab your balls, and walk away man. And read this for a further drive on this topic: pua-lounge/topic190620.html

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