Debunking myth- Open ended questions.



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 10:49 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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I'll use an example. Good looking girl I was speaking to,I didn't want to draw attention to her looks or anything like that, had moved one city to mine for uni. I joked and said, all the city's you had to chose from and you move to this one. Response: I like this city. To me that states a level uninterest. When a girl likes me, she well engage and try and throw banter back.
Again...that's a pretty weak question to judge where things can go by her response. It also lacks any follow through that can lead anywhere. If you dig deeper into the topic you're going to hit gold because where she's from has a story, her goals in life has a story, why she likes that city has a story. If you're looking for banter, you may not always get it....but that's a weakness in your approach to things if you can't adapt to the moment as it happens.

I get that you're saying it's "your experience" that it doesn't work, but your experience is experience based on failure. It's not that it's a myth, you just don't know how to do it correctly. It's okay, you can learn or you can stick to what works for you.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:23 pm 
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I'm agreeing, but only to a certain extent. It's all about whether or not the person wants to have the conversation and is attracted to you in some degree.

Eg I like boxing, gym, food. If you were to ask open ended questions to me, they can easily be shutdown or poor response, unless YOU(the person, not the question)interest me enough to want to discuss anything.

Person: what's your favourite food
Me: I don't know

Person: what made you want to the gym
Me: just did (or if I'm feeling kind)to get healthy

Person: who's your favourite fighter
Me: I don't have one

Honestly guys questions don't matter attraction level does.

Lol...Only the second question is an open ended question. I don't think you understand what an open ended question is. The other 2, are straight up closed questions.
Quote:
I'll use an example. Good looking girl I was speaking to,I didn't want to draw attention to her looks or anything like that, had moved one city to mine for uni. I joked and said, all the city's you had to chose from and you move to this one. Response: I like this city. To me that states a level uninterest. When a girl likes me, she well engage and try and throw banter back.
Jack is killing it in this thread. You really expect a girl to banter off this weak statement? I'm scratching my head at what a bantery statement a girl could make to that was.

Look, your heart may have been in the right place. But from your examples, your understanding of conversations is not there. You don't understand open ended questions. If you did, there would be at least one decent one here. That's like me saying direct approaches dont work and then my examples are "Hey girl let me buy you a car." This would just show I dont even understand direct approaches enough to critique it.

And please dont use that "if she doesnt like you open ended vs non open ended does not matter." Duh. But you can apply that do anything. "Looks dont matter if she doesnt like you....Confidence doesnt matter if she doesnt like you." You'd be saying forget confidence and your looks as if its some breakthrough that if a girl doesnt like you, little you do matters. OF COURSE if she doesnt like you nothing you do really matters. But even if a girl is attracted to you, you still have to do actions and behave in a way that doesnt blow it.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:52 pm 
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Fair enough, here to learn. But could we see some examples of how you would conduct an interesting conversation. This is not me trying to be antagonistic, like I've thrown my hat in the ring. How would show examples of interesting conversation. Solid ways that people can understand. A lot of people's ideas get knocked in game but people rarely give solid tips as to how to correct it.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 1:06 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Location: Los Angeles
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Fair enough, here to learn. But could we see some examples of how you would conduct an interesting conversation. This is not me trying to be antagonistic, like I've thrown my hat in the ring. How would show examples of interesting conversation. Solid ways that people can understand. A lot of people's ideas get knocked in game but people rarely give solid tips as to how to correct it.
You haven't heard any solid tips? I explained how you could have dug deeper on your question on how the girl picked your city. I explained to you that you have to talk about something that the girl cares about and if you have a question, you need to make her care about answering the question. I explained to you should try to have her give you an emotional response as opposed to a logical one. I've explained that the more foundation that you have for starting a convo, the more likely it's going to go somewhere.

You have plenty of examples of conversations. You've seen people have them and you have had them at some point in your life. The skill that you need to work on, when it comes to conversation, is transition. The way I transition in a conversation are small compliment on things like a smile, eyes, a dimple, a laugh, or outright saying that they are pretty. If I get smiles out of the compliments, I know exactly where I stand.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:45 am 
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Thanks bro, wasn't knocking. I appreciate the reply. I just think everyones games diffrent. What may work for one may not work for everyone( i dont mean fundamentals)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 6:38 am 
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Fair enough, here to learn. But could we see some examples of how you would conduct an interesting conversation. This is not me trying to be antagonistic, like I've thrown my hat in the ring. How would show examples of interesting conversation. Solid ways that people can understand. A lot of people's ideas get knocked in game but people rarely give solid tips as to how to correct it.
I think you have to define for yourself first what an "interesting conversation" means and what your objective is. Are you trying to be yourself and screen girls who are compatible? Then an interesting conversation depends on whats interesting to you. Are you trying to gain a girl's interest? Then an interesting conversation depends on whats interesting to her.

For eg, I prefer to say whats on my mind and filter girls I'd enjoy spending time with. So I talk about things that interest me at the moment. Like I just finished the documentary series making a murderer and was very interested in the case. So if I was talking to a girl I may talk about it. I'm interested in it, so I'll express that naturally. I'd ask her opinion, whether she's seen it, what she thinks of it after hearing mine. It's a lame example but to make a point. Flirting and touching and escalation....you dont need to be smooth or it doesnt have to make sense...just throw it in. Keep the energy good. I can tease her for not seeing it, I can compliment/qualify her for seeing it. I can do the same for her opinions. I can marry her/ divorce her on whether she watches Netflix. I can hug her, take her hand, move her around, kiss her for a stupid reason. So I can tell a girl about a 10+hr documentary series I enjoyed and throw out flirtation and touch, while screening for whether we think the same way or enjoy the same things. As Jack said, I can stop what I'm saying and compliment her dimples.

I think of banter/flirting just as exaggeration. Girl says something I like....I can exaggerate that I REALLY like that...eg we should get married. I can grab her in this big exaggerated way. Girl says something I dont like...I can exaggerate that I REALLY dont like that eg, we should get divorced. I can take her hand and break up with her in this big exaggerated way. Doesnt matter.

I'd just want to add that try to keep in mind every piece of information has a whole bunch of place you can take the conversation. For eg, what a girl does for a living can then get into why that job, how she feels about it now, a tease about her job, what my job is, how I got into that, what I would do if I could do anything, what she would do, what that says about her, a joke on that, a qualification on that, a funny story about my coworker who did X yesterday, what her coworkers are like, oh they're lame...a tease on that, saying she should quit her job and move to my company but the rule is the females all have to wear mini skirts so she has to, she calls me out on my bs and laughs, I play it straight and compliment her legs, then it goes to she enjoys running, how I enjoy running, where she runs, she gives a story about some creepy guy at the park last time she ran, I say I do that to girls at the park too..whats the problem? She jokingly hits my arm telling me I'm not that kinda guy she can tell, I use that to pull her close while joking we'd fight, I look into her eyes and continue talking blah blah blah. All that from just talking about work at first. Any topic has a bunch of different deeper things behind it. Why you do something. How it makes her feel/what she enjoys about it. How you feel/what you enjoy about that if you do. If you dont why and whats like that you can connect on for you. A tease. A qualification. An old story relating to that topic.Moving/touching her as you describe something.

I hope my ramblings help in some way


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