At the point in which you're willing to post about a girl on the forum, its because she is leading the interaction.

In short man,

She's probably fairly easy, and you're putting your uncontrollable chemical reactions (emotions) ahead of the logic that would probably tell you that this person wouldn't make a good long term mate. She feels that and will play it a bit distant because of it. I'm not saying the girls a hoe, but typically hoes require you to treat them a certain way (more indifferent) for them to develop attaching type emotions. They always want relationships with the guys that are using them, because they don't value themselves and respond positively to the guys who don't value them either. They relate to it.

So just hit the brakes a little bit. If a relationship is going to come out of this, you're going to have to slow down on your end, continue seeing other women, and deal with that when SHE pops the question. Its as simple as that.

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So, my oneitis girl texted me today that she wants to try and live together.

What worked?

When she pulled back, so did I. I gave her space, played it cool, and dropped a 10% nice with 90% dickhead mixture, which made the niceness more significant than it really was.

We'll see what happens. It's nothing serious, but it is a next step away from the other thing.

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I'm sorry but what did you gain here?

A girl who likes to fuck with you. Actually she feeds on it. And future constant arguments. Now you'll have to walk a thin line not to lose her, all the while fighting and making back up. I'm not judging you, if that's what you like or want, that's your choice and I respect that. But I'm curious as to why go through this? Is it because you enjoy this kinda disfunction, or is that you feel like you have to go through this to get a 9.5? Or is it another reason. Genuinely curious as to what drives some men to pursue these women

I enjoy a challenging woman the way women enjoy a challenging man.

It will also be an open relationship on my end. She's bi-curious, and has bisexual friends over. My other oneitis is a ravenous bi-sexual and would devour her in the right situation.

See where this is going? Lots of potential scenarios, real life conquests, and far less jerking off to lame porn.

The entire PUA regimen is for this scenario, period. All in the comfort of your own home, away from clubs and bars and dickbags.

It was never about quantity, but deep quality experiences.

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Appreciate the reply
Challenging is a nice reframe, but this doesnt sound like the definition of challenging as is typically used. I mean, if a girl had a bf who beat her is he just a challenging man? So if a girl argues with you and plays mind games, its gone past her being challenging to just dysfunctional.

Also, alot of that contradicts itself. How is she going to agree to an open rs on your end, but she has trust issues? And how so, when she doesnt want to be tied down in the first place? Why would she then agree to let you tie her down, yet you can still fuck other girls? And how is this in the "comfort" of your own home, when its mind games and fights? Sure, dont get me wrong, the sex could be great, but its still alot of work and rollercoaster rides. The fucking could be fun. Is the fighting fun for you? Are the mind games fun for you? If so why? I'm genuinely curious as to what makes that fun. To me, I won't do it...maybe I'm a weaker man, I just don't get turned on from fighting with a girl tbh. I value peace of mind. To me, "quality" isn't head games. Sure I can play them, but I can also get a hot woman who doesn't play them and she can fuck me all night and still be challenging without fighting or games.

There's a word for a hot woman who doesn't play head games. It's "unicorn".

If you don't want head games, aim for 6's and lower, with an extra 20-40 on the bones.

This girl once told me "I'll be the best wingman you ever had". Imagine a 9.5 round all the time with an open mind...

The trust issues were more about lying than openly communicating.

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This is so wrong. Head games happen when you allow head games to happen. If you stand for what you believe in, there is no woman that can mess with your head. There are no games that she can play because you don't have the need to play the game. If you are weak, any woman can mess with your head...even the 6's and lower.

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Can't agree on the unicorn part as I've dated and date many hot women who don't play games. And when I did date hot women who played games it was because I played games. For eg, if youre a guy who uses the fact that other girls like you to get women, then you're gonna find the women who like showing you that there are so many guys who like them. When I stopped using that, I probably lost a lot of chicks who like that, but I started to get a lot of girls who didn't play those games. I can honestly say for the past 6 or so years I haven't used mind games with a girl and have dated hotter girls in that time frame. I haven't had to deal with a shit test, I haven't had to deal with jealousy or any of that. Sure, I've dealt with girls and an irrational fight once in a while, but they were sensible enough to acknowledge they were being irrational and it didn't become a habit. I started to keep shit simple and just be honest. I like you, you like me. We dont need games to have good sex and we dont need games to have fun.

I say all this because if you genuinely like games, that fine. I understand some people do. But if you dont really like them, then dont play them just because you think thats whats necessary to get a hot girl. Try just being honest and see the girls that will come into your life.

I was going to refute this, but after tonight and today, I see what you're saying. I've been letting these hot women play these games.

I have a choice...simply walk away or freeze out when I don't find the behavior acceptable.

And I'm about to do that right now with this girl. She texts me out of the blue yesterday an asks if she can move in. I say we can grab a bite and talk about it.

She's in another town getting dental work (this is Montana, lol), then texts me that her "options for accommodations" are stressful. Her choices are two of her girlfriends places that are "available for the evening". This is at 7 pm. I don't ask why, but I assume it's because her friends always try to hook her up (this happened last time I was up there).

I get a phone call from her at 9pm, which I accidentally cancel. I cal her back 5 minutes later, she doesn't answer. Then I hear from her at 11:20 pm, she tells me she wanted to talk about a family member who'd just been in an accident. Then we text a few times back and forth until 3 am. I let her last text hang because its obvious we were tired, and IMHO leaving a text hanging on the woman's end is a good thing occasionally.

So, I hear nothing from her today, and I assume she's planning to stay another night in Kalispell, where she has two ex's.

Yeah, this is just weird shit.

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Some interesting points raised in the thread and has prompted a lot of thinking.

Here’s an update on the w ends events, So Friday night I went out with a few friends had a few options for new girls but definitely wasn’t interested as I’ve got Oneitis.

Saturday we met in the afternoon and I took her to a Spanish street festival with some friends, we had a really good time and did a bit of Latin dancing.

So after my friends left and we had been having a good time I thought it would be good to bring up the text convo (following Neo’s advice). So I gently asked for her reasons for being scared of a relationship. Her reasons were that she is concerned that she will likely need to move to another city soon for her work and that she has a desire to travel and see the world. Which is fair enough, I’ve done it and learnt a hell of a lot from it. So I listened well and then just said that we could cross that bridge when we come to it.

So after that nice conversation she invites me to her family dinner on Sunday evening to meet her mum, so I accepted.

So I went to dinner last night and it all went very well, her Mum was very nice.

We went back to her afterwards and connected further and had sex, It was amazing and I accidently muttered “I love you” just before I climaxed. She said nothing.

I made fun of myself afterwards to her to not make it awkward and show that I wasn’t cut.

So in summary I think it’s going well, I don’t think she’s a girl that doesn’t value herself and needs be to de-valued to like me but I do think that I’ve probably fallen a little hard and am starting to get to emotional with her and probably need to take it a slower.

Man I agree with what most people are saying. From my own personal experience, the more you try to "talk her" into getting in a relationship the more she will pull off and says she is scared or that she is not ready, etc, etc... I have heard all kinds of excuses hah.

The best way to go about it is to actually switch the power right back to you and let her think that it is you who needs to make the decision and not that you are just waiting on her... Tell her that for now you guys should keep going out as friends. but keep doing dates and activities as a couple (like the comedy show example). Eventually the relationship will evolve on its own and the only thing missing will be just the official title. Don't try to be bringing up the subject every 2 or 3 dates, she obviously likes you already so there is nothing to fear. Also, I would make sure to have plenty of sex.

I am not an expert but hope it helps.

You are aware that oneitis is a sickness right? And it will worsen until it leaves a mark if nothing is done about it. What are you going to do differently today than you did yesterday as far as the girl. Its one thing to understand that you need to slow down, but what are you actually going to do? If a man eating chicken that was contaminated with salmonella, he would keep getting sick until he stopped eating the chicken. Him saying " I know this chicken is making me ill and so I have to slow down and/or eventually stop eating it" would do nothing for him. The only thing that would do something is the discontinuation from eating it.

From my experience, the girls that make us "sick" aren't the women for us. At least not now, not at the mental and emotional maturity we're at to deal with them. So if she's making you sick(oneitis) you have to question whether or not its a good idea to keep eating the chicken at all. I know you like her, but is this infatuation doing more harm or good?

Sometimes you have to be strong enough to just walk. Walk while its the toughest and the reward will be the greatest.

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You're trying to strategically play a step by step game with this girl. How can you ever relax lol? It's an art, not a science. You're acting.

Stop trying to be a certain way. Just be busy.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Ive just done a bit of reading, it appears I had confused Oneitis with being in-love

Its the same thing.

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