How do I approach attractive girls who are dancing by themselves or with another attractive female friend?
How do I approach a girl who is sort of bored and waiting by the bar?

I haven't been out in a while. I've always had a fear of talking to women, especially attractive ones even in say a work place setting.

I went to a bar about a half an hour ago, seems that 2:30 AM is cutting it close to closing time.

As soon as I get there is an attractive girl, she seems to be hoping someone will talk to her as she waits it out. I get next to her, main thing on my mind is to get a drink, why? The point is to not rely on alcohol or stimulants to fake your confidence. So, as I sat there for a few minutes, she looked open to being approached, but I thought "Dur... I need to have this drink." And you see, I have that problem of any hot girl "She is the one" and I can't fail... so I don't try.

So within a few minutes, after I walked away (sober) some drunk guys came close to her and she walked out the door. Granted today is Friday, I have tomorrow to try and make a change. It's only getting colder and I imagine that will affect how many people will go out. It's almost like securing a sex partner before the winter so you don't have to go out and find one, maybe that's my own delusional thinking from their perspective.

I walked to another side of the large bar, and there were three girls there. By themselves, I did not acknowledge them, I have this thought that i have to "be cool" or "be impressive" to meed their demands. I had the thought of buying them a drink, but part of me felt like a cheapscape too. How do I just "DO IT"' ? Talk to her. A simple "Hey, how are ya?"

It's easy now to say "I will do it" but when I am there... then I get negative and give up, walk out and go home sad.

There is this goal of succeeding which when not met leads to sadness, part of me wants to scurry back, despite thinking it's over, save it for the next day.

There weren't many people left at the bar, almost like desperation hour if the girls are still waiting after much of the "herd" has left. The guys outnumber the women (a bad sign?).

I am glad I made an effort to go out, I'm afraid to take a shower even in my own home, as girls flock here to party (fraternity house) I have spent most of my time hidden in my room. Pretty sad I know. But every weekend I feel left out so that is why I want to make a change. Be a confident and successful man. Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, sex is part of the first step.

I can't believe I didn't even say hello to any girls, Christ... how sad.

Firstly, don't beat yourself up, well done for getting out the house and going out. You seem quite insecure and reclusive, especially hiding in your room. So going out to pick up girls might be kind of a running before you can walk situation. My advice to you would be to change your goal - initially. You need to start speaking to women. There's no way around it. But your problem is that your placing too much weight on each opportunity. What you need to do is go out to social settings with the only goal of having a conversation. You're not there to pick up, kiss, or even get a number. You are simply there to talk to people. Once you take away that sole objective of finding a mate, then the anxiety should decrease. You will only really need to go out like this a couple of times before you start to notice a change. Once you feel more confident having simple, innocent conversations with women without any agenda, you can then try making interactions more flirtatious and goal driven.

And dont forget, there are infinite opportunities to talk to women, theyre everywhere. For example just make a bit of small talk with a grocery store clerk or a waitress.

Thanks for your response

Tomorrow I will go out again, and I will just talk to people. The only time I was able to do this was doing a lot of a stimulant substance and that sucks, I want that mentality without it. Cold shower, face doesn't dry up, glow, wake up, haha.

I've been pretty reclusive for a long time. Would go out a lot during school, didn't do well, for three years only had sex with one really unattractive, smelly, large girl. Failed out of school, yeah it was bad. This is really a problem for me, I think that in order for me to succeed at everything else (tech entrepreneur), I have to master this... it's something really holding me back.

What you need is the three second rule.

The INSTANT you two make eye contact, make a shit eating grin on your face, and say "Hey, I need your opinion on something."

If you take any longer than three seconds, not only will you get in your head and fuck up the approach, but she'll feel weird and intimidated because you've been there for a while, probably trying to gather up the courage to say something, and that you want something from her (sex). If you say hi to her the second you meet her, she'll be a lot less intimidated!

Tell your approach anxiety to go fuck itself. IS THIS ALL YOU GOT, BRAIN? YOU THINK THAT THIS IS ENOUGH TO STOP ME? FUCK YOU. STOP THINKING. THE MORE I THINK AND GET INTO MY HEAD ABOUT THIS, THE GREATER MY VICTORY WILL BE WHEN I APPROACH AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING.

And although you didn't get even a minute long interaction..you're going to feel realllllllly good that night.

I spent like a month trying to master this, but I wrote down each approach and drew myself a literal picture on how to do it perfectly, and it's perfect almost every time (only when I'm not in my head). Now I'm trying to master transitioning into conversation.

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I succeed where others fail, purely because the fire inside burns brighter than the fire around me.

I know man, I stood next to her for at least 39 seconds and when I didn't talk to her, she left. My hotdug could have had a bun to sleep in hahaha. Shiiitttt

Hopefully today I turn my vagina info a mangina at least.

I have this concern that my environment is set for failure. I've been a major recluse lately and have grown distant from my fraternity brothers. I think most of the time they either assume I'm not home or am... but can't tell the difference, nor do they try to find out as my door is always closed.

So if I happen to chat it up with a girl and bring her back here, and the guys are having a party here (by the way girls come here very weekend) I know it doesn't make sense. It's like I'm a marked man. I don't know why I've stayed, probably because I was unemployed and needed a place to live but I don't know... I've had that problem of feeling welcome and genuine connection, and I know it is my fault because of not being open and investing time. I can sense that they don't like me.

Christ, I have to change something in my life, I don't know what. Pretty sad that I've considered the military and prison for life changes. I am just tired of my own self. I've also considered being a bum. But that's just being childish and escaping.

Really screwed up my social and self-image.

I think that I have that problem of projecting negative thoughts onto others, where the "bad things" that I see in others really stem from myself. These people are having a good time, it's me that isn't.

I've found that stimulants help but eventually I would like to go natural. Tonight is a new night, when doing stimulants my member does not work but when it does, super long time... so maybe if that happens hahaha... pretty sad. One day will conquer the fear. Have to expose yourself to your fear.

How do I approach attractive girls who are dancing by themselves or with another attractive female friend?
Just approach and say hi confidently.




How do I approach a girl who is sort of bored and waiting by the bar?
Approach and say hi confidently.


How to gain the confidence to approach confidently(lol) thats the tricky part.

The good thing is you can start today to become an attractive man so that a year or two from now you'll be living large.

Even if i told you a perfect approach for both of your questions, it wouldnt change who you really are, and ill probably have to hold your hand through every way of the mating process, that is why it doesnt work unless you build core confidence.

So here's my core confidence starter kit:

Dtrak's Core Confidence Starter Kit Troll warning: (Don't troll me i'm making this fun, but is serious, why must learning game be boring)

1. WeightTrain (Every AlphaMale starts in the weight room)

2. Clean up your diet (if your too fat or too skinny you better clean that up, looks matter) PM me for diet tips or get educated. You won't do shit in the gym if your diet aint clean. So step 1 and 2 are combined.

3. Change your pussy ass posture/bodylanguage, i bet you look like a bitch walking around.(No disrespect) PM me or look for good male posture tips they are everywere on youtube

4. Wardrobe time, do you look like every other average joe when you hit the club? Get yourself some hip up to date pua clothes. This takes extensive research on fashion, but is worth it. You dont need to spend alot of money, just buy a couple of cool outfits you wear all the time. maybe 2 or 3 combinations and build from there. Get expert help on this or figure it out. I personally wear the same shit all the time but i look like a fucking king.(at least you gota feel like one)

5. Have a fucking balanced life, dont play world of warcraft all day and then expect to get pussy. You can play world of warcraft if you want but thats after you got balance. Have ambitious goals for your future, short and long term. After you become a pimp then you're allowed to play world of warcraft all day. But i bet you won't want to anymore.




Do all this shit and then tell me you wont feel confident about walking up to any fucking girl.

As a matter of fact the minute you decide to be "the new you", you can walk up to any girl, any time.

But dtrak, how are all these dumb steps going to help my game?

Just cause you do all that doesn't mean every girl will fuck you. After you do these steps you need to approach alot and work on "practical game" (open,hook,vibe,investment,close)

Then you'll be a fucking PUA.

If you suck at opening, go out and just open, work on that, focus on that, come up with your own ways, anything works.

Do the same for every other Practical step.

enjoy.

Dont worry about not getting laid too much, if it happens it happens, it'll start happening alot eventually.
Just dont be a pussy and take chances.
Your life aint going to change itself.

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Hey bud I totally get where you're coming from. It's even harder when you're out there alone.

Honestly man try and use the 3 second rule as much as you can. It'll help.

If you want some inspiration watch KeysToTheVIP on Youtube or Mysterys pickup artist show. That stuff always gets me going.

Good luck bud

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Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.