PUA, Self-Improvement and Bitterness



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:00 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:46 am
Posts: 6
Quote:
If you followed this advice you'll get setbacked for more than a decade. Here are my reasons why:

1. You're already too much about feelings. You don't need MORE feelings. If something isn't working for you, why should you intensify it some more instead of changing your approach? On the other hand, you haven't taken that much action yet.

2. If you're already seeing a therapist and it's not working, it's only logical to try 2 or 3 different other therapists. After seeing 3 other therapists and therapy still isn't working, then maybe you need to try other SPAM aside from therapy.

For instance, I have a +60 year old woman neighbor who suffered a bad fall. The first doctor said she needs surgery so he can drill 8 metal nails in her broken spine.

I said, "Fuck that. 30+ year-old Jesus Christ only had 3 nails hammered at his hands and feet and he squirmed in pain and died a slow death on the cross. You're a 60+ year-old woman who yammer profanities every morning. What makes you think you can do better than the Messiah who prays to God on the regular?"

She got a second opinion.
Quote:
Ok, let me nuance my opinion here. It might have come across as if i said, study your ego for 2 years and you will be casanova, never needing to approach anyone, nor ever talk to girls, leading to ONLY digging through your feelings, getting increasingly depressed.

This is what i imagine what happens when you attempt to approach, or actually approach. "you get all pumped up, see a nice girl, and just freeze, after a minute of fear, you realize you don't have the balls to do it, and your internal dialogue lets loose and murders your ass "you pussy" "you suck" "your the biggest failure ever". These thoughts consume you to such a degree that approaching a new girl is impossible and you give up for the day.

Or "you approach, trying out your best pickup line, but she looks at you puzzled and confused, thinking what the fuck does this guy want from me, and the girl (if she is nice) politely eject from the convo, or if she is rude just ignores you". Same internal dialogue problem afterwards.

What you have to work on, is allowing The Totality of your feelings. You have to start telling yourself, its OK to feel shitty about it going wrong, and its ok to not have all the answers today. you have to FEEL that its ok, not just tell yourself, but actually accept and feel yourself and everything you are, then your anger and bitterness should subside.

As a result of you have incorporating aspect of you that you are not happy about. Let me explain:

what happens when your negative internal dialogue talks to you, is that you split yourself up into two people (the almighty perfect ego, the one casting judgement), and the weak petty version of yourself that gets judged (the victim). This cycle has to be broken, you have to realize that you are Both the judge, and the jury, and get more in tune with how the judge was formed and shaped (childhood parenting, socialisation, past experiences that impact you negatively). Once you start seeing that, you see the judge for what it is, and you can move away from victimhood into empowerment. But for this, you do really have to do some soul searching, and understand all the programming the subconscious is running on (often not your choice). Once you start doing this effectively, you will incorporate those aspects of yourself that you are currently disowning/refusing to be allowed by judging yourself for having/showing these aspects. Once you stop the judging and instead understand and include those negative parts, you can truly start shedding/outgrowing them.

And sure, if your therapist sucks, get a new one. Sure, if therapy is not sufficient, get more help and resources! Never did i say, just talk it out and it will be done. By all means, approach girls, but also approach people in general. Get a feeling for people again, and a feeling for life, literally start FEELING LIFE.

What happens in a heavy depression is we stop feeling, we literally go numb. Good luck trying to find a worthwhile girl while you are numb as fuck. So again, by all means, take action, i agree here, i just disagree that taking action = approach 1000 girls and thats that. def approach them, but also go do other things for yourself, outside of your comfort zone; go to a dancing class, (salsa is killer for girls), go to a yoga class (lots of hotties too), go to a meditation course (to understand your internal dialogue and how to shut it the fuck up), read books on eastern philosophy, psychology, hell do whatever floats your boat, but start doing it in a feeling way, and stop splitting yourself up into some perfect version you like to be, and the bleak reality of you (you are actually a beautiful person, but your overachieving ego and the gap between the reality you wish you where, and the true you, is what is fucking you up. To only to return to the forums asking for more advice from "perfect people to once again make you "perfect" "just approach a 1000 girls, then you will instantly reach heaven".... instead just come to terms with reality, own it, and work your way up from there. Those resources i gave you, might give you more knowledge and words to further increase your understanding of said reality, making it easier to accept it, since you are suddenly not an outcast pussy competing in the perfect world of PUA artists who just approach 1000 girls and have balls of steel, but just a regular guy like the rest of us, with faults and flaws and most importantly FEELINGS.

I swear to you, once you do this, girls WILL NOTICE, since they are so much more in tune than us men concerning emotions and feelings. They can smell an inauthentic guy from a block away, but an authentic guy gets them wet, and being authentic will have your courage rise, your balls harden, until eventually steel will form. But this is the result of facing inner demons and understanding and accepting and dare even say (loving) ALL THAT YOU FEEL. sure approaching girls helps, but there are so much more helpful things, for your own mental clarity which will translate into more girls. Why do girls love this 'Alpha type'? because he is in touch with his feelings completely, and owns up to them wholeheartedly. That is true masculinity, at-least in my eyes, not running away from self, but sitting with it. But it might be in your case, you need some more knowledge and guidance on what self is, instead of this unrealistic image you forcefully try to project (failing miserably every time, leading to frustration, bitterness and resentment from a false self towards your true self and the rest of the world that feels).

Finally, by all means, get a second opinion, get sixty for that matter, at the end of the day you still have to FEEL which one is right. In a way i am also saying just approach a 1000 girls, But do it in tandem with increasing levels of knowledge and understanding of self, otherwise its just another escape mechanism, and will most likely have you stuck on the same level (that of fear and hate), as your previous posts indicate.

I hope this clarifies my previous post, and i would be very interested to hear other's thoughts on my perspectives too!
And yeah, i don't think this will set you back a decade, but make you rise higher than a lot of those wannabe PUA's and join the ranks of true men. True men, understand and honor THEIR FEELINGS, they are your compass through this thing called life, learn to listen and use them.

Good luck on your journey brother!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:11 am 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:46 am
Posts: 6
Quote:
If you followed this advice you'll get setbacked for more than a decade. Here are my reasons why:

1. You're already too much about feelings. You don't need MORE feelings. If something isn't working for you, why should you intensify it some more instead of changing your approach? On the other hand, you haven't taken that much action yet.

2. If you're already seeing a therapist and it's not working, it's only logical to try 2 or 3 different other therapists. After seeing 3 other therapists and therapy still isn't working, then maybe you need to try other SPAM aside from therapy.

For instance, I have a +60 year old woman neighbor who suffered a bad fall. The first doctor said she needs surgery so he can drill 8 metal nails in her broken spine.

I said, "Fuck that. 30+ year-old Jesus Christ only had 3 nails hammered at his hands and feet and he squirmed in pain and died a slow death on the cross. You're a 60+ year-old woman who yammer profanities every morning. What makes you think you can do better than the Messiah who prays to God on the regular?"

She got a second opinion.
Quote:
Ok, let me nuance my opinion here. It might have come across as if i said, study your ego for 2 years and you will be casanova, never needing to approach anyone, nor ever talk to girls, leading to ONLY digging through your feelings, getting increasingly depressed.

This is what i imagine what happens when you attempt to approach, or actually approach. "you get all pumped up, see a nice girl, and just freeze, after a minute of fear, you realize you don't have the balls to do it, and your internal dialogue lets loose and murders your ass "you pussy" "you suck" "your the biggest failure ever". These thoughts consume you to such a degree that approaching a new girl is impossible and you give up for the day.

Or "you approach, trying out your best pickup line, but she looks at you puzzled and confused, thinking what the fuck does this guy want from me, and the girl (if she is nice) politely eject from the convo, or if she is rude just ignores you". Same internal dialogue problem afterwards.

What you have to work on, is allowing The Totality of your feelings. You have to start telling yourself, its OK to feel shitty about it going wrong, and its ok to not have all the answers today. you have to FEEL that its ok, not just tell yourself, but actually accept and feel yourself and everything you are, then your anger and bitterness should subside.

As a result of you have incorporating aspect of you that you are not happy about. Let me explain:

what happens when your negative internal dialogue talks to you, is that you split yourself up into two people (the almighty perfect ego, the one casting judgement), and the weak petty version of yourself that gets judged (the victim). This cycle has to be broken, you have to realize that you are Both the judge, and the jury, and get more in tune with how the judge was formed and shaped (childhood parenting, socialisation, past experiences that impact you negatively). Once you start seeing that, you see the judge for what it is, and you can move away from victimhood into empowerment. But for this, you do really have to do some soul searching, and understand all the programming the subconscious is running on (often not your choice). Once you start doing this effectively, you will incorporate those aspects of yourself that you are currently disowning/refusing to be allowed by judging yourself for having/showing these aspects. Once you stop the judging and instead understand and include those negative parts, you can truly start shedding/outgrowing them.

And sure, if your therapist sucks, get a new one. Sure, if therapy is not sufficient, get more help and resources! Never did i say, just talk it out and it will be done. By all means, approach girls, but also approach people in general. Get a feeling for people again, and a feeling for life, literally start FEELING LIFE.

So again, by all means take action, i agree with the previous post, i just disagree that taking action = approach 1000 girls and thats that. def approach them, but also go do other things for yourself, outside of your comfort zone; go to a dancing class, (salsa is killer for girls), go to a yoga class (lots of hotties too), go to a meditation course (to understand your internal dialogue and how to shut it the fuck up), read books on eastern philosophy, psychology, hell do whatever floats your boat, but start doing it in a feeling way, and stop splitting yourself up into some perfect version you like to be, and the bleak reality you perceive. (Know that you are actually a beautiful person, as much as anybody, but your overachieving ego and the gap between the reality you wish you where, and the true you, is what is fucking you up. To only to return to the forums asking for more advice from "perfect people to once again make you "perfect" "just approach a 1000 girls, then you will instantly reach heaven" (yeah right)...... instead just come to terms with reality, own it, and work your way up from there. Those resources i gave you, might give you more knowledge and words to further increase your understanding of said reality, making it easier to accept it, since you are suddenly not an outcast pussy competing in the perfect world of PUA artists who just approach 1000 girls and have balls of steel, but just a regular guy like the rest of us, with faults and flaws and most importantly FEELINGS.

I swear to you, once you do this, girls WILL NOTICE, since they are so much more in tune than us men concerning emotions and feelings. They can smell an inauthentic guy from a block away, but an authentic guy gets them wet, and being authentic will have your courage rise, your balls harden, until eventually steel will form. But this is the result of facing inner demons and understanding and accepting and dare even say (loving) ALL THAT YOU FEEL. sure approaching girls helps, but there are so much more helpful things, for your own mental clarity which will translate into more girls. Why do girls love this 'Alpha type'? because he is in touch with his feelings completely, and owns up to them wholeheartedly. That is true masculinity, at-least in my eyes, not running away from self, but sitting with it. But it might be in your case, you need some more knowledge and guidance on what self is, instead of this unrealistic image you forcefully try to project (failing miserably every time, leading to frustration, bitterness and resentment from your false self towards your true self, in the process feeling disconnected from all those who are more in tune with/honest and accepting of their real feelings and thus their true selves.

Finally, by all means, get a second opinion, get sixty for that matter, at the end of the day you still have to FEEL which one is right. In a way i am also saying just approach a 1000 girls, But do it in tandem with increasing levels of knowledge and understanding of self, otherwise its just another escape mechanism, and will most likely have you stuck on the same level (that of fear and hate), as your previous posts indicate.

I hope this clarifies my previous post, and i would be very interested to hear other's thoughts on my perspectives too!
And yeah, i don't think this will set you back a decade, but make you rise higher than a lot of those wannabe PUA's and join the ranks of true men. True men, understand and honor THEIR FEELINGS, they are your compass through this thing called life, learn to listen and use them.

My problem is that saying approach 1000 girls, often leads to guys overthinking more in their life, as they attempt this. The key to unlocking girls, is feeling, not thinking. Learn to feel, and approach girls as you increase your capacity to feel, and you will grow!

Good luck on your journey brother!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 4:09 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 355
I would say While Inner Game is NECESSARY, its not SUFFICIENT as presented in all the PUA theory now-a-days. You still need some practical tactics to make it work. I would suggest follow the 30 Days Challenge given by Neil Strauss in his book "Rules of the Game". It starts right from the basics and will force you to take action (provided that you really take it as a crash course, just like any other subject).

PS: Now I might face a lot of criticism for recommending Neil Strauss as a lot of PUAs dont agree with his style of game. :P But honestly I think its really helpful, if you've already grabbed the basic concepts of Inner Game.

_________________
Don't get confused by my username. I am not Bald.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 6:03 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:40 pm
Posts: 5689
Quote:
Now I might face a lot of criticism for recommending Neil Strauss as a lot of PUAs dont agree with his style of game. :P
Look at your username ,you big gay fan boy ;)

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:46 am 
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User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:43 pm
Posts: 355
Quote:
Quote:
Now I might face a lot of criticism for recommending Neil Strauss as a lot of PUAs dont agree with his style of game. :P
Look at your username ,you big gay fan boy ;)
lolz.. No I am not trust me :P
I like him just because he was the reason I got introduced into pickup. I did knew about RSD and some other stuff but it didn't change my life until I read "The Game".
Besides I think this name relates to me as the most dominant feature in my personality is my "Style" :D

_________________
Don't get confused by my username. I am not Bald.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:50 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:38 pm
Posts: 85
not sure if this will help anyone but maybe it will. this may sound contradictory to what is normally said on here. When I go out with the mindset of "I'm gonna fuck a hot bitch tonight" it seems less effective then "I'm gonna go make friends and meet my buddies" mentality. girls really just wanna meet a friend who will touch them while they talk and then all the sudden they want the dick when they feel comfortable around you as long as you hold eye contact and touch them and whatnot. Women are pretty smart and can read your bullshit if your putting up a front.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:58 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:38 pm
Posts: 85
Quote:
Quote:
If you followed this advice you'll get setbacked for more than a decade. Here are my reasons why:

1. You're already too much about feelings. You don't need MORE feelings. If something isn't working for you, why should you intensify it some more instead of changing your approach? On the other hand, you haven't taken that much action yet.

2. If you're already seeing a therapist and it's not working, it's only logical to try 2 or 3 different other therapists. After seeing 3 other therapists and therapy still isn't working, then maybe you need to try other SPAM aside from therapy.

For instance, I have a +60 year old woman neighbor who suffered a bad fall. The first doctor said she needs surgery so he can drill 8 metal nails in her broken spine.

I said, "Fuck that. 30+ year-old Jesus Christ only had 3 nails hammered at his hands and feet and he squirmed in pain and died a slow death on the cross. You're a 60+ year-old woman who yammer profanities every morning. What makes you think you can do better than the Messiah who prays to God on the regular?"

She got a second opinion.
Quote:
Ok, let me nuance my opinion here. It might have come across as if i said, study your ego for 2 years and you will be casanova, never needing to approach anyone, nor ever talk to girls, leading to ONLY digging through your feelings, getting increasingly depressed.

This is what i imagine what happens when you attempt to approach, or actually approach. "you get all pumped up, see a nice girl, and just freeze, after a minute of fear, you realize you don't have the balls to do it, and your internal dialogue lets loose and murders your ass "you pussy" "you suck" "your the biggest failure ever". These thoughts consume you to such a degree that approaching a new girl is impossible and you give up for the day.

Or "you approach, trying out your best pickup line, but she looks at you puzzled and confused, thinking what the fuck does this guy want from me, and the girl (if she is nice) politely eject from the convo, or if she is rude just ignores you". Same internal dialogue problem afterwards.

What you have to work on, is allowing The Totality of your feelings. You have to start telling yourself, its OK to feel shitty about it going wrong, and its ok to not have all the answers today. you have to FEEL that its ok, not just tell yourself, but actually accept and feel yourself and everything you are, then your anger and bitterness should subside.

As a result of you have incorporating aspect of you that you are not happy about. Let me explain:

what happens when your negative internal dialogue talks to you, is that you split yourself up into two people (the almighty perfect ego, the one casting judgement), and the weak petty version of yourself that gets judged (the victim). This cycle has to be broken, you have to realize that you are Both the judge, and the jury, and get more in tune with how the judge was formed and shaped (childhood parenting, socialisation, past experiences that impact you negatively). Once you start seeing that, you see the judge for what it is, and you can move away from victimhood into empowerment. But for this, you do really have to do some soul searching, and understand all the programming the subconscious is running on (often not your choice). Once you start doing this effectively, you will incorporate those aspects of yourself that you are currently disowning/refusing to be allowed by judging yourself for having/showing these aspects. Once you stop the judging and instead understand and include those negative parts, you can truly start shedding/outgrowing them.

And sure, if your therapist sucks, get a new one. Sure, if therapy is not sufficient, get more help and resources! Never did i say, just talk it out and it will be done. By all means, approach girls, but also approach people in general. Get a feeling for people again, and a feeling for life, literally start FEELING LIFE.

So again, by all means take action, i agree with the previous post, i just disagree that taking action = approach 1000 girls and thats that. def approach them, but also go do other things for yourself, outside of your comfort zone; go to a dancing class, (salsa is killer for girls), go to a yoga class (lots of hotties too), go to a meditation course (to understand your internal dialogue and how to shut it the fuck up), read books on eastern philosophy, psychology, hell do whatever floats your boat, but start doing it in a feeling way, and stop splitting yourself up into some perfect version you like to be, and the bleak reality you perceive. (Know that you are actually a beautiful person, as much as anybody, but your overachieving ego and the gap between the reality you wish you where, and the true you, is what is fucking you up. To only to return to the forums asking for more advice from "perfect people to once again make you "perfect" "just approach a 1000 girls, then you will instantly reach heaven" (yeah right)...... instead just come to terms with reality, own it, and work your way up from there. Those resources i gave you, might give you more knowledge and words to further increase your understanding of said reality, making it easier to accept it, since you are suddenly not an outcast pussy competing in the perfect world of PUA artists who just approach 1000 girls and have balls of steel, but just a regular guy like the rest of us, with faults and flaws and most importantly FEELINGS.

I swear to you, once you do this, girls WILL NOTICE, since they are so much more in tune than us men concerning emotions and feelings. They can smell an inauthentic guy from a block away, but an authentic guy gets them wet, and being authentic will have your courage rise, your balls harden, until eventually steel will form. But this is the result of facing inner demons and understanding and accepting and dare even say (loving) ALL THAT YOU FEEL. sure approaching girls helps, but there are so much more helpful things, for your own mental clarity which will translate into more girls. Why do girls love this 'Alpha type'? because he is in touch with his feelings completely, and owns up to them wholeheartedly. That is true masculinity, at-least in my eyes, not running away from self, but sitting with it. But it might be in your case, you need some more knowledge and guidance on what self is, instead of this unrealistic image you forcefully try to project (failing miserably every time, leading to frustration, bitterness and resentment from your false self towards your true self, in the process feeling disconnected from all those who are more in tune with/honest and accepting of their real feelings and thus their true selves.

Finally, by all means, get a second opinion, get sixty for that matter, at the end of the day you still have to FEEL which one is right. In a way i am also saying just approach a 1000 girls, But do it in tandem with increasing levels of knowledge and understanding of self, otherwise its just another escape mechanism, and will most likely have you stuck on the same level (that of fear and hate), as your previous posts indicate.

I hope this clarifies my previous post, and i would be very interested to hear other's thoughts on my perspectives too!
And yeah, i don't think this will set you back a decade, but make you rise higher than a lot of those wannabe PUA's and join the ranks of true men. True men, understand and honor THEIR FEELINGS, they are your compass through this thing called life, learn to listen and use them.

My problem is that saying approach 1000 girls, often leads to guys overthinking more in their life, as they attempt this. The key to unlocking girls, is feeling, not thinking. Learn to feel, and approach girls as you increase your capacity to feel, and you will grow!

Good luck on your journey brother!
wow you think much like me. the ego is a beast that never leaves but always waits for an opportunity to take control of you again. Often you don't realize it for some time and come back to reality. I used to have no game at all, and then I started smoking a lot of pot and really analyzing the patterns of my thoughts. I grew much closer to myself and became a more positive energy. In this state of mind good things happen, and women are attracted to it. I often lose my chill and don't realize it for some time, then the cycle begins again. Good luck


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