most days my vision is clouded with things that are irrelevant. for example: what if she doesn't want me? how do I know she really wants me before I approach her? what if i get rejected? what if I do get her number, but I dont know where to take her? what if I say something embarrassing?

But some days, my vision becomes so clear, I don't know why. Today was one of those days. I began to totally see that it doesn't matter what the girl wants, what matters is what I want. I know this may sound cold, but what she wants is not part of the equation, sorry.

Also I began to see how girls never grow starting at the age of 5. I used to respect girls as adults, but today I realized all girls get stuck at the age of 5. Their bodies will grow, but they will always think like a 5 year old. equality, my ass.

just to give you more ideas about my vision, today for the first time I crossed a crosswalk with cars coming. I just went in. (of course safety is priority number 1, so I did make sure they stopped) but before, I would wait until all cars are gone, i didnt want to disturb any cars by making them stop. but today, I thought "it doesn't matter what they want. what matters is what I want. I want to cross."

I can explain more, but nobody wants to read a long post.

PS no, I am not on drugs.

why is it that some days my vision becomes so clear? I wonder if it has to do with my diet? or is it possible repeating Eddie's lines is taking its effects (Eddie's lines: she wants to have sex with me. All these girls want to have sex with me. All these girls want my cock"

I know this feeling will go away tomorrow and I will go back to my old self. possible to make it permanent?

Have a definiteness of purpose man. Whoever has the stronger fame always controls the interaction.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=191788

As an addition to this, why would you let others chose the direction you want to go. You want her so go for it, unapologetic.
This is a very disempowering frame to come from. Mental barrages are likely to emanate from all areas of your mind on this one. I encourage you to choose beliefs that would empower you and your life. I think you could chose much better ways that help you with the results in your life than looking at others in such this way.

Have a purpose that is bigger than any of your obstacles, this is a great way to a definiteness of purpose that can empower you with a sense of clarity.

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Well you made me laugh man. Thats a first.

George from Seinfield once said.." I don't want hope, hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care, and when you don't care that indifference makes you attractive. " Theres actually a song called The Pessimist by Wale that uses that quote that you might want to check it out. It may be a way to somewhat hold onto this feeling.

Balance is key though bro. It seems like you lean too far in one direct each time. Stay steady.

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This feeling is also amplified when "in state."

The crosswalk thing is what a confident man would do. Keep moving in this direction overall in your life.

yeah, I think I am talking about the same thing, being "in state"
it's like I am a completely different person. suddenly I know exactly what girls want. They want to be desired.
suddenly I know what to talk about.

and when I said girls get stuck at the age of 5, I didn't mean it in a disrespectful way. actually, I meant it in a cute way. like I don't expect any girl to act like an adult. I dont expect her to be reasonable. my ego doesn't hurt any more, because she has the mentality of a child, what do you expect? but that's only when I am in the right state of mind which happens very rarely, maybe one day a month.

most days, it's the opposite.
"i dont know what to say"
"I am not attractive. I dont see any reason why a girl would like me"
"I am not likable"
"I need everybody to like me"
"I dont want to get rejected"

To turn on 'state' on any given day, just start having conversations with girls. Before long at ALL, you'll be flowing.