Hi all,

Met this girl who I gamed during the day whilst she was shopping a few weeks ago. It was actually my best day game result ever, we went for a coffee after talking and I actually made out with her during the coffee.

I messaged her over the few weeks in an attempt to meet up, but she was generally unresponsive surprisingly, though partly due to being extremely busy with work which requires her to work very long hours and travel frequently. Then out of the blue I message her about meeting up and she is far more responsive but she is away for the week. I then message her on Saturday about meeting up, and it turns out the best time for her to meet up would be that night, so I go ahead and agree to it.

Saturday evening we meet up and I take her to this really nice rooftop bar here in London, but as we're sitting opposite it was impossible for me to make a move and kiss her. After around 2 hours, I suggest leaving and going to a livelier bar which she agrees to. This bar conveniently happens to be very close to where I live. There we sit next to each other and not long after I make a move and start making out with her. Slowly but surely it starts getting more heated. We're kissing more and more and start kissing each other's neck etc. I also start feeling her breasts underneath her top (my hand is underneath another piece of her clothing though so it's not entirely conspicuous). Me thinking this is a certainty, I ask her twice (roughly 20 min apart) if she wants to come back for a drink in my flat, but oddly enough she refuses on both occasions. A bit later we leave and as my flat is literally round the corner, I manage to get her to the outside. She won't come in and is about to uber a taxi. As it's cold I tell her to wait with me in the hallway of the block of flats where I live. In the hallway, I start making out with her more and more, to the point where I'm kissing her neck and actually make my way down to her breasts and also finger her. She then (with some assistance from me) puts her hand down my trousers and starts to rub me. This carries on for a few minutes but then she stops and sits down. She orders her taxi and we wait together with me still feeling her occasionally. After that, the taxi arrives and we say goodbye.

I text her the following day with a polite "hope u got home ok" text to which she responds, then text her today saying we should meet up again before I go away next week. To my slight surprise, she texts me back saying she doesn't think our personalities will get on and that she is not looking for fun. In hindsight I may have been too forward but I'm genuinely surprised by her comment about not getting on, as on both occasions we met we talked for ages and got on well.

How can a girl do all that stuff and then say she is not looking for fun?

Also, what should I have done to have avoided this situation? Perhaps, not been so forward and not done all that stuff in the hallway with her?

Any ideas how to rescue it possibly?

If she was reciprocating (and it sounds like she was for the most part), I don't think you did anything wrong. The only time you're doing something wrong is if she is trying to take your hands off her, which never happened.

The comments she made regarding breaking it off don't necessarily mean what she said. Sounds like you're both fairly young. It's just like the boyfriend defense, many times the girl says that bc she's not interested, not bc she has a boyfriend.

You'll likely not win an argument. You have to tread lightly and hope she'll reconsider.

Mate,

Too much seduction and not enough calibration.... probably didn't hit all the attraction signals depending on your conversation. maybe salvage by saying you agree that we should slow things down but had a good time with her and invite her to a night out with her and your friends ( wingmen) to help. Try a nice club around london. Let us know how it goes. PM me if you need more info.

These kinds of things don't happen to you often I'm guessing.

You pushed too much after the hang out.

Based on what you wrote I can see how intensely wrapped up you got in this experience. Its happened to all of us. Usually a hot chick that you get super far with really quick, and it leaves you high. As a result your push push push, she pulls pulls pulls until her interest is gone. After that meet up when you couldn't close you were suppose to lay low and wait it out.

The "hope you got home safe" text is for chicks. You tell her before she's leaving to let you know she made it home safe. If she does you know you're in, if she doesn't you pull until she shows her face again.

Next one bro.

Try not to linger on this one for too long. You'll get another so long as you don't continue to highlight this as a special moment in your life. There was nothing special about it. You almost hit a home run, it didn't happen. You don't get points for it. Next time you're up at bat, focus more, keep the emotions in check, and hit a bit harder.

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Alright so she probably is just not that into you and she is giving you a little bit of play because you had the balls to ask her out in person. Girls really like that because it shows you have confidence and you don't let the fear of rejection keep you from trying to get what you want. BUT, it doesn't mean they want to date you and or sleep with you. It just means they're impressed that you asked for their number.

In order to get out of phase 1, which is the initial phase of seducing a girl after you get her number you have to create some attraction and sexual tension. You do this by bantering with a female, flirting with her, and basically seducing her. But it sounded like all you did was wait like a puppy dog for her to let you know when she wasn't busy. Girls will do that to a guy. It's called the friend zone. You were persistent so she went on a few dates and made out with you. But ultimately you failed because you didn't get her to actually WANT you EMOTIONALLY. You made it clear that you want sex, what guy doesn't? You have to stimulate her emotional side and turn her on from there. You can't just go straight to sex with most women. You need to seduce her through her mind and her heart. That's where your words come into play. That's where create attraction for yourself by your game. Your flirting game and your banter game. It's not as easy as you think, which is why you failed. You didn't even know that you have to do it that way.

Learn and read up on how to seduce a woman. There is no getting around that part. You will keep failing in the same way over and over again, trust me I used to be you. And the only difference between me and you is now I know what I'm doing wrong. We all have to work at it bro.

Points for the new guy...good post. The only thing I disagree with and it may come off a little ticky tack but you should be building attraction before you get the number.

There will be girls that will give you their numbers if you ask and some will even go out with you because of curiosity(I could be wrong but this seems to be the case for OP). But what your goal should be is having her WANT to give you her phone number. If she wants to give you her number then she will want to go out with you strictly because of the attraction that was already built. This allows you the opportunity to make her feel swept off of her feet because she won't have her guard up and she will be more focused on achieving a positive outcome on your date.

OP...women like to make out but that doesn't mean that you've made them comfortable enough for sex.

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Yeah that's true, best possible outcome would be for her to WANT to give you her number. But that is more or less ticky tack. Often we don't have that kind of time when we first walk up and start gaming a chick. Not to say I'm an expert at that, because I mostly go after girls online and still need to get my feet wet in the face to face game. But I would assume that you probably only have between 60 seconds to about 5 minutes tops where you're talking to a girl in person before she has to go. So asking for the number and getting it would be top priority just to get to that point. But it's circumstantial I suppose. I guess it depends on the environment. If you're at a mall and you spit some game at a girl who is on her way to a late nail appointment she might be mildly interested so she gives you her number without knowing you. At that point you have to call her/text her and game it through phone calls, text, or a first date and build that initial attraction. But ultimately I agree with you, I think it's best to build the attraction before you get the number with some game, but again it just depends on the circumstance. It may be you have to quickly get her number because she has to be somewhere.